Moving from Old to New: What Will You Bring?

Old Year 2017.  New Year 2018.  According to the calendar, we are moving not only from one day to the next, but it is a transition from one year to another.  An end and a beginning.  A movement that inspires parties, services, reflections, hopes, predictions... and uncertainty.  The long sequence of holidays that began with Halloween and ends with New Year's (or the Feast of the Three Kings) drew us from one season to the next, Fall to Winter.  A movement of time.  A continuation of Life's Journey.

For me, a number of questions emerge at this time of year:

• What am I carrying from one year and into the next?
• Do I have a choice to leave some memories and stories in the past?
• Am I willing to lay down burdens that weigh on me?

From Old to New:
Are there immovable barriers in your path?
(Click link for:  Stonehenge, Wiltshire, England)

Having visited the Neolithic structure of Stonehenge several times over the past 30 years, I remain awed by its size, purpose, and the foresight of its creators.  Circling the stone pillars this past September, I wondered about the beliefs and structures in my life that have grown over time.

• Do I revisit these structures?
• Do I question their continued purpose or impact on my life?
• Have they become a mystery... that I protect and no longer understand?

 

From Old to New:
Are you locked into something you love?
(Click link for: Elevador de Santa Justa, Lisbon, Portugal)

My September trip eventually brought me to Lisbon, Portugal... a new discovery, a city I had never visited.  As I wandered around the touristy 'hot spots,' I came across a fence located above the skyline.  Initially, I focused on the beautiful view of old Lisbon.  But, as I drew closer to the fence and refocused, I noticed a number of locks placed in various locations.  Different shapes and sizes.  People's names, dates, and symbols etched or painted on the locks.  Public reminders of lovers and friends memorializing their relationships by locking one moment of their Life's Story. 

• When do I lock memories into my worldview?
• Who do I memorialize and with what symbol?
• Where do I place these locked memories... and the keys to unlock and remember?

From Old to New
Are you ready to invite others into your world?

As I move from Old to New - one day to the next day, one year forward - I realize anew how important it is to share my thoughts, inspirations, hopes, and fears with others.  The ability to sit and share - open up, unlock views, ask questions, and listen - is so necessary in our burdened and locked world.

Old Structures may need to be re-explored.  The moments memorialized or locked in time may need to be re-visited and re-moved.  Places and forms of dialogue may need to be newly-created, welcoming others into a safe environment to be open to and embrace what is both common and different.

• Am I willing to move from old to new?
• Can I lay down last year's burdens, worries, and fears?
• How might I become open to this year's uncertainty?

May we learn to let go of the unfinishedness of 2017, and move minute by minute into the hope that 2018 offers!  May we seek...

Peace.  Paz.  Pace.  Paix.   Friede.  Síocháin.  Shalom (שלום).  Barış.  Salām (سلام).  Solh (صلح).  Sānti (शांति).  Santipap (สันติภาพ).  Iríni  (Ειρήνη).   Lapè.  Zhi-bde (ཞི་བདེ).  Dohiyi (ᏙᎯᏱ).  Pokój.  Barış.  Minaggen.  Heiwa (平和 ).  Heddwch.  Kapayapaan.  Pokój.  Mir (Мир)...   
Peace to All on this beautiful Earth! 

Larry Gardepie


Dialogue San Diego Consulting
(click on link to website) 

Traditions and Memories

Traditions... customs... cultures... memories...  Have you ever spent time searching for the Perfect Gift for someone you love or prepare the most sumptuous meal for guests invited to your home?  Have you tried to replicate Christmases Past into the Present, hoping to recapture the Spirit you remember?

This season inspires us to explore ways to celebrate who we are.  We carry many thoughts and emotions into this season... joy-filled, sorrowful, contented, anxious, happy, child-like...   human experiences of remembrance.

By the time you read this post, though, it may be time to slow down... and relax!  A work colleague used to say, "You've done good!"  Look back now, and say:  I did the best I could!  It is time to celebrate the perfect gift, Who-You-Are-Becoming!

Traditions: Shared at Home

As you replay the past weeks of preparation, what are you carrying into this week:

• All that was expected?
• All that couldn't be finished?
• All that you accomplished? 

Maybe it's time to set aside what happened or did not happen, talk to a friend or loved one, and share the aspirations and accomplishments... with the intention of letting go.  Maybe it is time to Hold Lightly the stress or tensions that were felt inwardly... or may have erupted outwardly.

Memories:  Shared Outward
(Union Square, San Francisco)

And, maybe the perfect gift right now is to slow down and offer a new perspective for the approaching New Year:  You are Good!  Those around you are Good.  We are doing the best we can.  We are human.

For me, these holidays are holy days: a mixture of childhood memories, mixed with adult experiences of joy beginning and life ending.  My parents made Christmas special for us six children:  the magic; the family traditions; the gifts; the way we felt loved.  A season of childhood memories: family, warmth, and belonging.

A New Year:  Ready to Emerge
(The Glass Factory, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico)

But, this season can be one of emergencies, hospital visits, and being family in unexpected ways.  Both of my parents died in December (December 8; December 24), so the childhood memories are infused with adult decisions of carrying, letting go, and mourning.

You or others you know may be experiencing moments that may seem unseasonal or unusual.  As I attempt to listen to and understand others, I am learning that all of these situations and memories can be gifts to be unwrapped and treasured.

Unless we slow down and notice what is emerging in us... listening to what others are sharing about their seasonal memories, we may miss the challenges that are being experienced inwardly and outwardly.

What questions are emerging in you this week as you slow down... relax... and notice?


May this week remind you that "You are good!" and "You've done good!"

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting 
(click on link to website) 

Who Am I? Who Are We?

Walking around Windsor and Eaton, England, we came across a bevy or herd of swans.  Several people with bread and crackers were shore side.  The swans were very attentive!  Grouped together, facing one direction, they made their intentions known!

I watched the beauty and strength of these creatures as they vied for food, each bird pushing forward, focusing on its individual needs.

As I watched this spectacle of coordinated chaos, I wondered:

• How often do I focus solely on my individual needs?
• When do I participate in a single-focused Groupthink or Herd Mentality?
• Who am I when surrounded by others:  am I defined as an Individual or in terms of The Group?  Am I independent or controlled; alone or in-relation?

Reflecting:  Who am I... among so many?

A few days later I was on a tour of Claude Monet's home in Giverny, France.  The gardens were the site of many of his water lily paintings so I was interested in seeing what inspired him.  It happened that the gardens were overflowing with Locals who availed themselves of this last beautifully sunny and warm Fall day.  An anticipated individual reflective moment had suddenly been transformed by hordes of people vying for "The Best" Selfie and Group photo:  click click... then rushing to the next section of the gardens.

I was overwhelmed by the jostling crowds!  But, eventually, when I slowed down and focused on how the gardeners were keeping Monet's vision alive, I noticed a flickering of tranquility from within.

It is possible to be present, to focus on the task at hand (e.g., taking a photo), and still be aware of something greater:  I can experience both Individual and Other!

Reflecting: Where are you in my life - close or at a distance?
(For more info: click on: Claude Monet, Gardens, Giverny, France)

As I continued to wander slowly along the garden paths, the frenzied horde of tourists moved ahead and beyond where I was.  I no longer needed to Keep Up, Be First, or Have the Same Photo as the others.  I was free and able to soak in Moments of Beauty and Inspiration.

There is a time and a place where we can walk together, share the experience, and still move apart.  There can be a balance of Community and Self.

Reflecting:  Who am I in... in relation to the world?
(Claude Monet, Gardens, Giverny, France) 

How do these experiences fit in with dialogue?  Consider the following questions:

• When do I expect others to see, hear, and do things my way?
• How might I become more curious -- and inquire -- about what inspires others?
• Am I willing to let others know when I need to be around them... or when I need time alone?

As we move further into this holiday season, may the ebb and flow of group activities provide moments where you can be reflective and inspire your Individuality!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting 
(click on link to website) 

Looking Beyond Limitations: Living Life Aware!

What is your response when asked if the cup is half full or half empty?  How do you encounter limitations of time or money or energy?  Do you see differences in the lifestyles of the "Have's" and "Have Not's"?

Our physical world offers many conditions that suggest boundaries, borders, divisions, obstructions, and walls:  ways to experience restrictions and reservations.

I wonder:

• Is there a way for us to see beyond these blocked views?
• Can we expect, anticipate, and hope for the Beauty Hidden:  the ability to see the cup... without qualification; to appreciate the gift of time, money, and energy... without limits?

Beauty Hidden
(Salisbury Cathedral, Salisbury, England)

In my travels, studies, and daily encounters, I experience moments when I feel trapped by the constraints of this physical world.  But, I also stumble upon the beauty that others have shared with us through thought, word and action... in lofty ideas, enduring literature, intricate designs, and time-tested beliefs.

When I open my mind's eye, I can see that I have a choice to move beyond any self-learned restriction:

• Will I see the cup as half [full / empty] -- or -- will I be grateful for the cup that has clean water for me to drink?
• Will I find fault in the person who misunderstands me -- or -- will I see the hidden beauty in that person who is struggling to understand me?
• Will I accept what is happening around me -- and -- will I become the change needed to improve and protect the lofty ambitions before us?

Intricate Designs
(Rossio Railway Station, Lisbon, Portugal)

The choices we make can have a lasting effect... on how we see and experience the world; on the impact we have on others; on the enduring legacy remaining once we move on.

Centuries of Meaning
(Rouen Cathedral, Rouen, France)

Moving from a physical world of boundaries, limitations, and walls requires that we live a Life Aware: 

• Noticing the current situation and the direction that life may be taking.
• Being open to past and present understandings and misunderstandings.
• Exploring divergent aspirations and possibilities.
• Choosing to support Self and Others.

Questions to consider:

• How do you see the cup [Life]?
• How might you redefine Time, Money, and Energy [Tools]?
• What Beauty Hidden surprised you today [Choice to See]?

May we choose to take action this week... to listen... to seek... to encounter the Hidden Beauty around us!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting
(click on link to website)

Cloudy Meditations: Shades of Beauty and Brilliance

I love being on the ocean because of the beauty of the ever-changing skies: the moments of sunrise and sunset; the play of the light on the drifting clouds; the moods of the waterscape as the sun and sky play with the water's coloration.

For me, it serves as a reminder of the movements throughout my day: the moods ever-changing... as my inner thoughts drift outwards... as I encounter different people and take on tints of their emotions and attitudes... as I waft* between the various roles in my life.

Cloudy Meditations:  Tinted Images

There are times, though, when I am deeply aware that rays of understanding are beginning to break through my cloudy moods, exposing a renewed view of my Lifescape.  In these moments, I realize that I desire clarity where: 

• A deadlock of misunderstanding with a loved one or friend can be overcome.
• Warm rays of hope and healing may touch us and move us closer. 

These hope-filled rays and moments of clarity create a union of Awe and Inspiration!  I suddenly notice that I am in the presence of Someone-Beyond-Me.  You!  A Gifted Soul also searching for clarity and understanding!  How might I become inspired by your Life's Lessons? 

Cloudy Meditations:  Rays of Light and Hope

In these moments of awareness we are able to engage in a more open dialogue with those in our lives.  We become curious.  We seek to understand.  We desire to see the gift of that will be revealed.

Like waking up and experiencing a vibrant sunrise or waiting patiently at the end of a day for the setting sun, we anticipate the beauty.  We desire to be blessed with Brilliance.  We seek moments of peace and well-being.

Cloudy Perspectives:  Brilliance!

I wonder:

• What would it be like to always notice my tinted moods throughout the day? 
• How might I live differently if I understood what triggers my moods to darken?  Or brighten? 
• Could I live in anticipation of wafting* moments of understanding that brilliantly shine throughout my life's journey?
• Can I see you as you are, a beautiful and brilliant person?

Blessings to you this week as as you waft* between shades of Beauty and Brilliance!

* Definition:  Waft - to carry lightly and smoothly; to send or convey lightly.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting
(click on link to website)

Focus: Looking Inward, Outward, and Beyond

Being the second of six children, I learned the Gift of Focus, the ability to block out noise and distractions so I could read and study.  This gift has helped throughout my professional career as I have worked on very complex and detailed projects.

There are times in every day, though, when I become so focused on what I am doing that I do not see or hear anything else.  It is as if I am focused on a pinpoint of light at the end of a long tunnel... straining to see what is at the end of the darkness; waiting to arrive at the destination.

This is when I notice that this Gift also has a Shadow:

• [Gift]  Focusing helps me complete the task at hand; and,
• [Shadow]  When I become so intent on the goal, I don't pay attention to the journey. I may not listen to or hear what others are saying.  I may not observe what is happening around me.  I miss out on information and experiences that may be important to others.

Focus... Straining toward One Goal
(Fish Seller in Lisbon, Portugal)

Let's use an Open Door as an image to consider the Goal and the Journey.  There are several elements to this image:

• Where we are (on one side of the open door).
• The threshold (which provides a limited perspective of what can be seen beyond the open door).
• Where we choose to go (to stay where we are or to walk through the open door). 

We see glimpses of the space beyond the open door from where we are.  With this limited view, we can anticipate and make conclusions about what we see.  But, we need to walk through the opening to see the fullness of what is beyond.

Choice and Action are important keys to an open door of journey and goal.

Focus... Opening Doors of Possibilities
(Lisbon, Portugal)

As my walking group climbed the steps through a Lisbon alleyway, I was struck by the  multiple aspects of the city view:  in the foreground - the many colors of the local neighborhood; in the background - the residences and castle on the distant hill.  With one angle or perspective, we could hold both views together.

An openness to dialogue provides us opportunities to practice seeing different views or perspectives where we can balance both journey and goal, past and present, reality and aspiration.

 Focus... Looking Outward and Beyond
(Lisbon, Portugal)

As we move through these waning weeks of 2017, let us consider the following questions in light of the Open Door image:  holding lightly the events of this past year (where we are), becoming aware of current energies and tensions (the threshold that limits our view), and looking forward to the possibilities before us (the choice and action to move beyond):

• What memories of the past year bring:  Unhappiness, frustration, and pain?  Happiness, hope, and healing? 
• Are there current views, meanings, and conclusions about people in your life that need to be re-examined? 
• How might you begin a conversation with a family member or friend estranged, seeking to understand past actions, current situations, and future hopes? 

May this last month of 2017 draw you to thresholds which focus inward and outward choices, allowing you to take action to move beyond the open door!

Larry Gardepie

 Dialogue San Diego Consulting
(click on link to website)

Seeking Horizons: Searching for Balance

You may have noticed from past blogs that I love to travel!  I am renewed when I encounter new sights, sounds, peoples, cultures, histories, food...  In recent years I have had the opportunity to sail on several oceans and seas.  For me, there is something calming about the rhythm of ship life:  whether through the activities on board the vessel or the gentle rolling of the ocean waves, there exists an ebb and flow of familiar and extraordinary.  What is expected... anticipated... and revealed.

I would assume that our lives have similar rhythms of routine and unforeseen: times when our views are skewed or limited by daily occurrences and other times when we see beyond what is.  Sometimes the swaying of our lives brings clarity and direction, while other times we may seem lost or unsure.

Seeking Horizons:  Skewed or Limited Views

Looking at these two photos (above and below), would you believe that they were taken within moments of each other?  It was a matter of moving from one location to another, changing the angle of the camera, and waiting for the sun to fully reveal itself.

I wonder if our lives invite us into a similar rhythm as we encounter other people:

• Moving from ordinary to extraordinary?
• Changing our perspective as we listen and learn?
• Waiting for light and understanding to expand our horizons?

 

Seeking Horizons: Seeing Brilliance and Silver Linings

Dialogue invites us to reconcile the differences in how we understand our lives with the diverse experiences of others.  As we practice awareness, we notice where we have been and where we are now.  And, when we stop and look at the horizon, we see unending possibilities of where we might choose to journey together.

There may be turbulence as we sway through the rough movements of today.  Our challenge is to look beyond and discover the distant shores that beckon us!

Seeking Horizons:  Balanced and Moving

Questions to consider this week:

• What do you expect from today or this week?
• How might you move or change in your perspective to anticipate other views?
• What keeps you from waiting and celebrating what is revealed?

May we give thanks for the blessings of family and friends, and may we be filled with gratitude for the ebb and flow of the ordinary and extraordinary in our lives!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Passages: Moving Forward... Together

In these fractious times where controversy and dissension seem to permeate the airwaves and media sources, it sometimes is hard to determine whether society is spiraling upward or downward.  The Passage of Time provides us with milestones to mark our progress through life:  birthdays, anniversaries, births, deaths, new jobs, promotions, retirement, elections...

As we reflect on these milestones, we might assign values or project meaning onto people and events:  good or bad; positive or negative; helpful or hurtful; happy or sad...  These milestones help us test and balance our perceptions.

Passages...  Spiraling Up and Down
 (Santa Justa Lift, Lisbon, Portugal)

Some passages provide structure and strength, allowing us to travel safely through moments of uncertainty.  Religion, faith and spirituality may provide solace.  Meditation, yoga, and exercise may produce peace and strength.  Education and continued learning may enlighten wisdom and understanding.  Life partners, families, and work colleagues may inspire healthy relationships which support life and creativity.

Passages... Needing Strong Support
(Commissioner's House, West End, Bermuda)

By reflecting on our milestones and moving through these passages, we are called to look beyond the dark moments and the meanings or values we have attached.  We are invited to dialogue within the structures we have selected to seek shared truth and understanding.  We move from darkness and doubt through Passages of Understanding, moving outward and beyond the current moment.

Dialogue is similar to the childhood game of "Dots and Boxes" where each player connects a dot with a line, attempting to form a box.  Where the game is different from real life, though, is that dialogue invites us to remove the competition to claim more "boxes" than our opponent.  With dialogue, we want everyone to succeed!

Passages... Moving Forward
(Spanish Colonnade, Balboa Park, San Diego)

Through dialogue, we attempt to:

• Remove barriers. 
• Encourage healthy relationships which value each person. 
• Freely provide information which removes boxes that limit and create containers of shared understanding.

As we move through the passages of time, we are called to move forward... together... rather than alone.

Questions for this week:

• What milestones in your life are:  Hope-filled and life giving? Feared and avoided? 
• What structures support you and provide passage forward? 
• What information is important to share with loved ones, friends, and colleagues?

May dark passages be short as you search for pathways beyond the current moment!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Seeking... to Be Refreshed and Renewed

On a recent trip to Lisbon, Portugal, I noticed that I was enjoying the sites, sounds, tastes, and smells of this city.  It was my first visit, so everything was new and undiscovered.  As I looked up and around, I was aware of similarities to places I have visited, but there was a freshness to these new experiences.

I wondered:

• Why is it easy for us to overlook the familiar or Ordinary Moments in our lives? 
• Do our minds become dull and our eyes closed to the Every Day? 
• Is it possible to see the Wonderful around us when life has become known and routine?

Seeking... Above the Ordinary
(Santa Justa Lift, Lisbon, Portugal)

It may not be practical for us to travel or seek out new places or experiences every week or immerse ourselves in different cultures on a regular basis.  If this assumption is true, maybe it is time for us to consider how to awaken a sense of Curiosity and Wonder about the people and situations we encounter every day.  Maybe it is time to look beyond… to broaden our horizons of what we see.  Maybe it is time to release the ordinariness that limits us and to seek What Will Happen.  In this month of Thanksgiving, is it time to allow gratitude to open us to Life Anew?

Seeking... New Horizons
(Commissioner's House, West End, Bermuda)

On this trip to Lisbon, we came across a broad plaza with several fountains.  Many people were enjoying the beautiful sunny day.  Tourists were gathered on one side of the fountains taking photos, the sun at their back.  (This reminded me: never take a picture into the sun!)

As I walked around the fountain, I noticed the sun playing off the water splashing down from the upper levels.  The water shimmered and sparkled as it sprayed and splashed.  I was mesmerized by the magical radiance of how the water and light played one with the other.

Moving away from the group, exploring new perspectives, allowed me to experience the fountain anew.  As I positioned my camera to capture this magical moment, the ‘Don’t Shoot into the Sun’ admonition played in my mind.  I moved to a position where the sun was hidden behind the fountain… and I was now free to take the photo!

Sometimes, to move out of the ordinary and routine, it may require that we mentally step away from accepted lessons.  To seek a new perspective, we must Desire to See Anew.

Seeking,,, To be Refreshed
(Rossio Square, Lisbon, Portugal)

What happened next?  Tourists taking the traditional or more accepted photo on the one side of the fountain saw what I was doing and came over to check out this new angle!

In the world of dialogue, we talk about becoming vulnerable:  asking for help; letting people know we might not understand; explaining what we are thinking or feeling.  To move from ordinary and to seek a renewed perspective requires Courage to be Vulnerable.

Once we open ourselves to other possibilities, we encounter extraordinary people and are surprised by the goodness in our world.  And just think, moving out and away creates opportunities for others to follow or engage with you differently!

Questions to consider:

• How would you describe the ordinary events and routines of your life? 
• What happens when you encounter the unexpected? 
• In what ways can you renew the ordinary, seek the unexpected, and invite curiosity and surprise into your life?

May this week provide moments where you can step away from the Ordinary and seek to be refreshed by the Shimmer and Sparkle of Life.

Special Note:
This posting marks the beginning of the third year of this Dialogue San Diego blog.  Happy anniversary!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Reflections: What Do We See... and When?

Early one morning I was standing at a window looking outside, trying to see the ocean and the port our ship was approaching.  The light inside was much stronger than outside, where it was still dark.  Instead of seeing outside, I was looking at a reflection of myself in the window.

Reflection:  Looking Inward

Once the sun began to lighten the world outside, my reflection could still be seen... but it was diminished as I began to focus on the waters and land beyond.  The dialogue skills came to mind: what lessons could I learn from the images reflected on the window and beyond?

It took time for the sun to rise and re-balance what could be seen... just as it takes time for me to become aware of what is happening within myself and to those around me.  Dialogue encourages us to explore these Within-Moments and What-Have-I-Missed Experiences.

Reflection:  Seeing Outward

As I walked around the ship's Promenade Deck thinking about the inward and outward flow of dialogue, I turned the corner of the ship and came upon a glorious sunrise that exploded with color across the clouds and over the water!

As we practice Dialogue, we will be challenged to:

• Turn inward and notice:  what values and meanings we have attached to experiences, and the conclusions we have made about people in our lives;
• Turn outward with curiosity:  to seek and accept how others encounter the world; and,
• Wait patiently... but with anticipation:  for the surprises that awaken us as we encounter an enlightened understanding of Self and Others.

Reflection:  Waiting to be Surprised!

Questions to consider this week:

• When I look at my reflection in the mirror:  What do I see?  What do I think?  What do I feel?
• When I am with loved ones, friends, and work colleagues:  What do I hear?  What do I expect?  How do I react?
• When I am surprised:  Is the surprise about me, or what I discovered in others? 

May this week open us to inward and outward reflections which will enlighten us and provide beautiful surprises!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting