Bridges or Walls?

Every day is a reminder... of how fragile life is... of hope and resiliency... of the need for love and kindness.  Also, every day can be a reminder that we have a choice... to do good... to do no harm... to help and support others.

Pope Francis' life and people's reflections on his death are a testament to his choices... and those that he encouraged from all of us.

He often used the image of bridges and walls.  In his words of October 31, 2024:

"Communication should aim to build bridges where many build walls; to foster community where many deepen divisions; to engage with the tragedies of our time, where so many prefer indifference."

What walls encircle you?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Waterson)

Bridges or walls?  Community or division? Engage or ignore?

These are a some of the choices we encounter every day in our responses... to someone in need of assistance... to a person seeking asylum... to a world struggling to breathe.

Unless a bridge is old, no longer useful, or needs to be replaced, you very rarely hear of a bridge being torn down.  It serves its purpose year after year.  Bridges connect.

Has your communication created bridges or walls?
(Photo credit: Vatican News)

Walls, on the other hand, are built to protect, separate, or divide... whether for our homes (protecting family or animals), between countries (defining boundaries), or dividing cities (East and West Berlin).

There may come a time where walls also need to be torn down:

• In the words of President Reagan: "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
• When boundaries change or expand.
• After we become isolated or helpless.
  

Where can you replace a wall with a bridge?
(Photo credit:  Internet download)

As we watch or participate in the public mourning of Pope Francis, let us:

• Become aware of the walls and bridges between family and friends;
  
• Welcome the opportunity to tear down walls that separate or divide; and,
• Choose to build bridges that connect.

Our choice this week?  To do good... to do no harm... to help and support others.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

Our Story

My older brother, Steve, has always been the family historian.  After Mom and Dad died and after I retired, I suddenly became interested in Our Story.  Maybe it's the loss of family members and missing their voices that opened me to wondering about Stories Remembered and Stories Untold.

Ancestry.com became a tool to reconstruct our family tree with its many branches.  I have been transported from the Midwest states of Iowa, South Dakota, and Missouri to French Canadian Quebec cities and towns... and back to Gascony, France.

Do you have family stories untold?
(Photo:  My Maternal Great-Grandmother - Larry Gardepie)

Dates and photos weren't enough, though.  I wondered what my forebearers were thinking and feeling:  Why move so far away from family?  What did they find in their new countries?  How did they survive when local people didn't accept them?

So I turned to the family historian!  He had documented the stories by interviewing those relatives now gone.  He listened and remembered.

Steve and I have gotten together several times in the past few months:  talking, listening, going through Boxes of Memories.

What decisions have affected others?
(Photo: My Paternal Grandfather - Larry Gardepie)

I discovered stories of affairs that ended in divorce, a father leaving his young family, rich farm land being auctioned because the brother could not be found.  And there were stories of love, caring, and kindness -- families helping others, welcoming strangers, and working together.

I am sure we all have stories hidden away, waiting to be retold, listened to and passed along.  Stories define us as a family, a neighborhood, a town, and a country.

How do you define family?
(Photo:  My father as a baby with his parents
and siblings - Larry Gardepie

These ancestral reflections have become especially poignant during this Lenten season, Passover remembrance, Holy Week journey, and Easter promise.  That is, daily disturbances challenge our shared American Story as:

• Religious freedom morphs into the domination of one religion's views.
• The images of Melting Pot, Tapestry, and Mosaic transform the strengths found in our diversity into hatred and expulsion.
• The Rule of Law becomes a mockery as Justice is no longer blind.
  

As we move forward in the weeks ahead, though, let us remember what is good about our Shared Story:  the Common Good... Good Will toward All...  Respect and Consideration of Others.

Let us bring to life the Story of Us -- All of Us -- and remember who we are... together.

After all, my story isn't complete without you!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Live, Love, and Laugh

I don't know about you, but when I travel to another town, city, or country I am always comparing... what is similar or different; what feels familiar or foreign; what I can understand or not.

I experienced this Comparative Brain recently when I was in Manaus, Brazil.  There was enough that was similar or familiar that I felt At Home, but there were also sights and foods that were different or strange.

Are your thoughts and emotions tangled these days?
(Photo:  Tangled Wires in Manuas, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

It wasn't until I saw the tangled wires throughout this city of 2 million people (in the middle of the Amazon!), that I noticed the jumbled state of my mind: I was far from home; I didn't know the culture or history of this region; I was a guest being welcomed and invited to experience something new.

What am I discovering?  We sometimes need chaos in our lives to clarify what we miss or what is important.  And, it helps to encounter a person with a Kind Heart who understands and walks with us through our Uncomfortableness.

Are you protected from what floods your world?
(Photo: Village house on stilts, Boca da Valeria - Larry Gardepie)

Are there ways to prepare ourselves for this chaos?  Maybe... and maybe not!  We can reflect on what we value.  We can protect what is important.  But, in a complex world where we cannot control others, we might be able to anticipate only a portion of the Uncertainty Ahead.

What am I discovering?   How I respond to what I cannot control is based on the lessons and self-work prior to Chaos Arriving:

• How do I want to show up?
• Am I willing to welcome the strange and unfamiliar?
• What happens when I don't understand or like what is happening?
  

What word, phrase or mantra do you breathe?
(Photo credit: Facebook download)

As we mark these final days of our Lenten Journey or celebrate Spring's arrival or prepare for Passover, Holy Week, or Easter, maybe we can focus on the messages that are flooding our world right now:

• Can we walk together?
• Can we welcome the unfamiliar?
  
• Can we become a Kind Heart to someone else?

Let us take time to reflect on how we Live, Love, and Laugh!  Happy Every Day!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Our World Village

On our journey up the Amazon River, we visited a small village of 100 people, Boca da Valeria ("Mouth of the Valeria River").  Children gathered around us, holding visitors' hands, and leading us around their village.  Dressed in modern and traditional clothes, holding onto sloths, iguanas, and caimans, they wanted their photos taken.

We visited their school, saw their church, and wandered around their homes-on-stilts.  These industrious people had adapted to the ever-changing river that provided food, work, and recreation.

How do you welcome others into your world?
(Photo: Children in Traditional Dress,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Our visit meant a day off school, but it was a workday of sorts as they collected tourist dollars for food, river trips, pictures, and selling locally made handicrafts.  Though business was part of the day's focus, the overriding principles of Hospitality and Welcome were ever-present.

As visitors, we were members of their village for one day... part of their family.

What do you bring to the relationship?
(Photo: Young Boy and Baby Sloth,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

We were thousands of miles from home, yet I felt At Home.  Why?

We couldn't communicate in my language.  People spoke Portuguese or the local dialect.  We had some things in common -- kitchens, stoves, satellite dishes, but other things were unfamiliar or outdated -- outhouses, wildlife, houses on stilts six to eight feet high.

Why?  The adults and children accepted us.  They wanted to show us their Way of Life.  We were people meeting other people.  We were curious and interested in one another.

Can you create and give something of yourself?
(Photo:  Artisan and His Creation,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Yes, I handed out a few dollars for pictures and handicrafts, but I never felt exploited or manipulated.  I felt Family and Togetherness... thousands of miles from home and friends.

As our world order and what we know changes, there may be questions for us to consider:

• Do I feel alienated and misunderstood?
• Can I accept people different from what is familiar?
• Am I willing to create a welcoming and understanding environment?

In a time when we may feel a lack of power or control over what is happening, I would suggest we can influence the outcome more than we think.

• We have a choice in how we define Family and Togetherness.
• We can develop Curiosity and Interest in others.
• We can Welcome All into our World Village.

Your thoughts?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting