A Tribute: Honoring Those Who Listen and Guide

"Do you really believe what you just said?"  That was the question Scott posed to me following the first supervisory training session that I co-facilitated.  Responding that I believed in this new approach to supervision, Scott said, "Let's make it happen!"  Sometimes it takes a question to move us forward -- from appearance and words to heart-inspired action.  Sometimes it takes a coworker or friend to listen, challenge, and encourage.

Attending Scott's memorial service this weekend, I have been wondering about how my life  has changed due to well-timed questions offered by colleagues, friends and loved ones.  Scott's question was asked over twenty years ago, yet my journey of Making It Happen continues to unfold and change my life.  Unlike earlier, I am now aware that I must listen... and answer... from the heart.

A Tribute to Those Who Listen

Listening to the life stories from Scott's family and friends, I realize how little I actually knew  Scott.  Twenty years ago I experienced him in his role as a departmental assistant director as filtered through my role as human resources assistant director.  Over time we became friends, sharing meals together, and co-training several times.  But his life stories revealed that he was so much more!

It seems that our various roles and responsibilities restrict us to viewing limited facets of the Whole.   In other words,  as we pass through these lives, we may come to understand only a fraction of what others think and feel.  New questions begin to emerge:  "Who are you?" and "What lives on?"

A Tribute to the Varied Paths We Take

Depending upon upbringing, faith or spiritual journeys, and so many other aspects of our belief systems, our understanding of Life -- and Death -- may be quite different and individual.  Just consider the second question...  what lives on:

• After a Loved One dies?
• At the end of each day?
• When we leave a meeting or interaction with others?

What lives, and what dies?  What is important to remember, and what will we pass along?  These ponderings and questions now merge into a question --  "Who are you that I want to live on in me?" -- and a statement -- "I want who you are to live on in me."

A Tribute to Those Who Encourage
and Journey with Us

Scott's passing through my life brings to mind two wonderful images:

• We are a tapestry of many threads woven together to create a colorful portrait greater than any single one-color thread.
• We are involved in a friendly paintball game, where we each splash the other with the primary colors of our lives; and we are forever changed as we are touched by and take on another participant's colorful life!

Each image suggests that I have an opportunity to die to my mono-chromed SCRs (Socially Constructed Realities) and belief systems and live on in a transformed technicolored landscape of Us.  The beliefs and stories we know and hold onto begin to change because of the vulnerability to ask questions, the courage to listen and respond, and the encouragement to believe... in Us.  We become  challenged to go deeper... into the death and life of each moment and each other.

A Tribute to Those who Challenge Us
to Go Deeper

Today, let us consider those people who have guided us thus far in our journey by asking "Who are you that I want to live on in me?" or stating "I want who you are to live on in me."

• Call forth names and memories of mentors and friends who have inspired you.
• Identify the changes in your life drawn forth by these people.
• Acknowledge and pay tribute this week in a way that honors you and them.
  (Examples: journal about or pray for these people; call or send thank yous to them; share the questions and what you have learned.)

May we be thankful for our mentors, colleagues, friends and loved ones -- those whose lives are intertwined with ours!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting