Knock, Knock: The Choices of 'Who's There?'

Knock, Knock.  Anniversaries and memories: milestones of happy times... and moments where there were challenges and struggles.  Memories:  stories that we carry - like suitcases - along this Journey we call Life.

Six years ago this month I was in an unusual situation at work.  Decisions were made to promote another person instead of me.  The situation wasn't sinister.  It was about a choice:  Either - Or.  After the promotion was announced, events unraveled in an unexpected way; my options became limited; and the only path I could see ahead was to resign, ending a 23-plus year career at this institution.  History: stories and relationships ended.

For many weeks and months after I resigned, I would retell My Story, searching for a way to understand what happened and how I might have responded differently.  But I remained trapped in this dualistic (Either - Or) mindset.

Years later I came across this quote from Karl Valentin, a German actor, writer and comedian: "Today, I will pay myself a visit; I do hope that I'm at home."  A reminder that there is a choice: who will show up? 

We have a choice: who will show up?

Knock, Knock.  I've been doing fine for many years: being hired into a company who values my work contributions; focusing on lifelong relationships; and enjoying the study and practice of Dialogue.  I have realized that Choice is not always based on Either-Or.  There are many situations where we are called to Both - And solutions.

Then came last week!  I arrived at a restaurant where I was meeting a friend, and, from a distance, I saw one of the people who was involved in the work situation of six years ago.  The memories returned full force, the suitcases opened, and my baggage in relation to The Story were unpacked!  (Isn't it amazing how quickly we can remember and relive our pasts?)

We have a choice: can we sit quietly and reflect?

Knock, Knock.  As I sit and reflect, I wonder who I will find at my home... and with what baggage?  The person I am now -- or -- the person I was six years ago? 

But, just maybe, the answer is not what I expect.  Maybe I am Both-And... plus, Much More:  the Present-Person who has grown and changed; the Past-Person who doesn't understand the loss of years ago; and the Future-Person who is still learning, yearning, and waiting to arrive.

Another interesting quote from Karl Valentin:  "I really would have liked to love, but I didn't trust myself to allow it."

We have a choice: can we expand beyond
the baggage that weighs us down?

Knock, Knock?  Who's there?  Maybe the invitation for us this week is to consider who is at home and where love is allowed:

• Can I identify any triggers that unlock baggage I may carry?
• Are there any memories that weigh me down?
• How do I want to show up and be loved?  
  

May we be aware this week of the Both-And choices we are invited to make: showing up, loving who we are, and trusting ourselves to love and be loved!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting