Hold Lightly: Opening, Accepting, and Enlightening

One of the concepts of many dialogue practices (e.g., Contemplative Dialogue, Active Engagement, and Dynamic Dialogue) is the ability to Hold Lightly.  I must say, though, this is a skill that weighs on me!  I have struggled for many months and years to understand how I can hold lightly to an idea, opinion, or passion I value as it comes in contact with an opposing view.

So much of the current world experience is based on winners or losers, majority rules, survivors and those "voted off the island."  It seems that we are reduced to dichotomous points of view:  one triumphing and the other beaten down or killed.

Question:  How can I hold lightly when I find myself moving toward one of these extreme poles? 

Opening Our Hands, Hearts and Minds:
listening to ideas, with no strings attached

An outstretched hand waiting for a feather to gently drift downward is an image that sometimes illustrates this concept to me.  Can I Hold Open my hand... my heart... my mind... long enough, waiting patiently, for a new idea to be shared and explained?  Can I keep the hand open, allowing the idea to land?  to stay?  or to move onward?

Sadly, I have a tendency to close my hand too soon... or to hold onto... or to crush what has been so gently given.

Question:  For each encounter, how can I hold open... for just a few minutes longer... listening, attempting to understand, and maybe accepting another experience or point of view?

Accepting Who We Are:
allowing the Beast-Within to become gentle
(Photo from: The Gorilla Foundation: Koko and Kitten)

A new image came to light when watching the evening news this past week:  Koko, the gorilla who has learned sign language to communicate to its caretakers, has adopted a new Kitten-Friend.  Seeing this mighty animal Gently Cradle this fragile creature tamed the Beast-in-Me, that part of me which squeezes new life out of opposing values.

I wish I had seen this picture earlier!  Recently, a Mentor-Partner asked me what it means to hold lightly.  I would suggest that dialogue practices the ability to nurture curiosity in order to protect the fragile relationships that unite us.  It is the ability to become inquisitive about anything different than ourselves and any long-held beliefs.

Question:  How can I gently cradle (maybe even, cuddle!) and protect inquisitiveness, learning to transform the Beast-Within and allow the Creation-Outside its right to exist?

Enlightening our World:
allowing a variety of ideas to coexist
(Photo from: No Boundaries Paranormal)

Would you agree that lighting one candle can brighten a dark corner of a room?  Maybe, if we allow many different candles to be be lit, the darkness surrounding us may lessen even more:  we might become more enlightened!  Thus, holding lightly might be a way to lighten any burdens that separate and darken us.

May the questions this week allow us to seek opportunities to hold lightly, to hold open, and to protect inquisitiveness!  Cheers to enlightened encounters!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting