Who am I? Who are You? Who are We?

Reflecting on various stages of my life, I recall times when I noticed differences between my family and those of my friends; when classmates became separated by interests and relationships; and when various cliques went their own ways.  I also noticed times when I wasn't accepted.

In those moments of comparisons, I began to discover the person I wanted to become.  I still haven't arrived, but I have noticed that my mind continues to compare and contrast what I see and experience... but in a different way.

How do I understand Who am I and Who are We?
(Photo Credit:  Baby Blues, by Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott)

I now see Life as a Journey of Discovery:  answering questions of Who am I? is only the beginning.  The journey continues when I open myself to other moments:  seeking answers to Who are you? 

My earlier years seemed to focus on achievement and direct/indirect competition.  Without being overly simplistic, did we not learn the following: 

• In school:  who was smarter?
• In sports:  who will win?
• In church:  who is holy?
• With family:  who helps out?

Do I try to outmaneuver others?

In later years, are we not challenged with other questions or lessons?  For instance, rather than focus on a dualistic relationship between Who am I? and Who are You?, we can transform those two questions into Who are We? 

So, the Journey of Discovery teaches us that all of these questions are important:

• I want to understand who I am or want to become;
• I need you to help me understand what that question means for you; and,
• Together, we must discover the relationship between I - You.

As we discover answers to these questions, we begin to understand the importance of the hyphen (-):  rather than remain in the competitive Either - Or relationship of earlier years, we begin to transform the relational-hyphen into an All.

Is it time to accept that We are loved?

Through dialogue -- and with an awareness of I and You in relationship with We -- compassion, empathy, and possibly even love, begins to emerge:

• When I hurt or you are hurt, then don't we both hurt?
• When I am hungry or you are hungry, aren't we hungry?
• When I am lost on my journey or you are too, then we don't arrive together.

Through these final weeks of the year where the holidays call us together as family and friends, may we slow down in our busy-ness and consider broadening our love for Self and Other -- giving the gift of time, interest, and acceptance!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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