Sitting in Their Place

I don't think I am crazy, but this week I have been thinking about shoes!  Not that I need any more:  I have dress shoes, tennis shoes, and sandals.  Each has its purpose in covering and protecting my feet while walking, relaxing or going out.  The connection between shoes, coverings, and protection took on more meaning after a recent Dialogue Learning Group meeting.

One of our members talked about a practice she uses to pray for and understand another person:  as a person of faith, an educator, and a school principal, she notices when she is having difficulty with a child, parent, teacher, or church goer.  Rather than dwell on the misunderstandings or issues, she sits in their place -- whether the school desk, a classroom, or the church pew used by that person.

How often do you notice other people's shoes?
(Photo:  Sky Tower, Auckland, New Zealand, Larry Gardepie)

 As she sits, she prays and listens:

• What must they be feeling or thinking in this situation?
• How might I understand their perspective or problem?
• Can I see and hear differently to overcome what overshadows us?
  
  

Have you ever wondered what it would be like
to be someone else?
(Quote:  Roman Krznaric)

Sitting in Their Place is similar to the adage "Before you judge another person, walk a mile in their shoes."  But, for me, there is a practical action and a rhythm in Rayleen's practice:

• Stepping away from my comfort zone;
• Placing myself in the other person's home turf;
• Sitting quietly and listening; and,
  
• Praying for understanding. 

Am I willing to listen and learn?
(Quote:  Harper Lee)

When I honestly work at my dialogue practice, I experience a willingness to go beyond the coverings that protect me. Empathy replaces my judgments.  Curiosity and questions begin to surface.  The dualities of Right-Wrong and MyWay-YourWay are no longer relevant.

When do I trust and help others?
(Quote:  Manuela McFee)

Like young children who tried on the clothes of siblings or parents to see what fit, maybe:

• We can try on the coverings that other people use to protect themselves.
• We can look in the mirror of another person's eyes to see the connections that bind us.
• We can accept the life and struggles that define the human person.

Whether "Sitting in Their Place" or "Walking in Their Shoes," we are Called to Change.

 

May we pray for relationships, blessings, and peace this week as we sit together.  May we seek to understand.  May we find a willingness to change.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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