Questions Divided: Individual or Together?

Standing on the balcony of our stateroom, I watched the pilot boat inch closer and closer to our ship ready to offload the person who would guide us into port.  How interesting, I thought, as I caught the reflection of the pilot boat in the balcony's glass siding.  Knowing where I stood and the direction we were going, I knew which boat was real and which was the reflection.

But, I wondered, is life as simple?

• How do we know what is real or based in facts and what is a reflection of our thoughts, opinions, or projections?
• Are we willing to have a pilot -- a friend, a mentor, a spiritual director -- guide us into a port of broader understanding?

How do you determine what is true?
(Photo: Pilot Boat Reflection, Larry Gardepie)

The idea of reality and opinion -- fact and reflection -- continued over the next few days of our journey.  Entering an elevator one day, I noticed that two of us were standing on the daily floor mat:  today was Thursday, the mat stated.  I wondered if we could agree on this fact?

One day the floor mats had been changed out of all elevators... except one: that elevator had been off-line the previous day and the floor mat had not been changed -- it was the previous day's mat.  I wondered if people entering that one elevator would catch what happened... or would they carry that incorrect day with them, trying to convince others?

When can you stand on common ground?
(Photo: Elevator Floor Mat, Larry Gardepie)

How can we reach common ground in our knowledge, the information we receive, and our understanding of what we have learned?  It seems that questions like this can either divide us further or bring us together.

For me, the emphasis is on the relationship:

• Do we want to stay in relationship with the other person?
• Are we interested in or curious about the knowledge and facts they have gathered along their life's journey?
• Can we ask questions that suspend our need to be right or prove the other person wrong?

Are you able to see the beauty in the moment?
(Photo:  Fiery Sunset at Sea, Larry Gardepie)

What I love about being on the ocean is the interplay between water and air, ocean and sky.  On clear days, cobalt ocean waters reflect the deep blue of the sky; on cloudy days, the waters are dark, grey and sometimes turbulent when it is windy.  What is awe-inspiring is the moment when the dark, cloudy days suddenly burst open with clouds on fire reflecting the relationship of sun, water and light.

 

Staying in relationship and working towards that moment of understanding is what dialogue is about.  Our discussions may not be as fiery as a sunset, but the ability to step back and notice what is happening is what is important.

This week, may we:

• Distinguish between fact and reflection;
• Question what we don't know or haven't experienced; and,
• Seek guidance when we don't understand.
  

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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