Darkness to Light

Have you ever been with family or friends, sharing stories or information, hearing a retelling of a familiar experience... and learning something new?  I hope the answer is "Yes!" for all of us!

I had that happen this past week:  I was out to dinner with three friends when one person revisited a difficult situation we all knew about.  Rather than cut off the narration, we listened, asked questions, and filled in what we knew.

What do you see in your darkest moments?
(Photo: Moonlight at Sea - Larry Gardepie)

Afterwards, I reflected on the Retelling:  I learned how...

• Listening and asking questions allowed depth to emerge. 
• Various aspects of the event took on newer significance in the retelling.
  
• Stories and meanings evolve as we get further from the event.

I also realized that I sometimes quicken a friend's retelling by jumping ahead and filling in the gaps!

Do the first lights of understanding change your perspective?
(Photo:  Morning Clouds - Larry Gardepie)

What was different about this evening was our ability to relax and amble along as the story emerged.  It felt like darkness was giving way to light... missing pieces of the puzzle were being put together gently by many helping hands.

 

By retelling the shared experience, we could revisit Unintended Hurts inflicted without conscious knowledge of doing so.  I asked forgiveness for words I had said months earlier when I didn't know this fuller story.

Is there a way to clear away confusion?
(Photo: Morning Clouds - Larry Gardepie)

Maybe Retelling offers us a way to practice a new set of R's: 

• Realization:  an openness to hear new information.
  
• Responsibility:  an acceptance of roles we may have played.
  
• Reconciliation:  an alternative to holding onto grievances.

As we listen to ourselves and others retelling familiar tales this week, let's take new paths through these stories.  There may be a reason why we are hooked on this story:  there may be a lesson or two more to learn!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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