Content and Context: Flushing Out a New Hand

My family socialized in many ways, but the memories that remain the most vivid are when we played card games, board games, assembled jigsaw puzzles, and tested one another through quizzes and trivia.  As we followed the rules of the various games and contests, we shared daily adventures and insights.  In later years when we returned home to visit my parents, it was natural to gather around the table, engage in these games... but, with our time centered on catching up and renewing relationships.  The games and rules became secondary to the time together as family.

So, no matter if we switched from Hearts to Spades to Poker, we understood the House or Family Rules:  what was acceptable in this time and place (content and context).

These thoughts came to mind when a coworker shared the following quote:  "Remember, a number without context is just a number."  Even though we were discussing software design, my mind made connections to earlier rules or mental constructs:

• Flush:  5 cards of the same suit (Hearts, Spades, Diamonds, or Clubs)
• Straight Flush:  5 cards of the same suit  in sequence
• Royal Flush:  highest possible Straight Flush

Each card has content (a suit and a value), with changing contexts based on the established rules.

Revealing a Winning Hand: Royal Flush

Our lives are much more than a series of events.  Our roles and responsibilities add context to how we understand who we are in relationship to others.  We add meaning based on how we filter and understand these events and relationships. 

For instance:  when we are embarrassed, we may see a situation differently than a person who is not embarrassed.

Our challenge is to change the context: do we hold onto or hide our embarrassment -- or -- can we explain what we are feeling to another person?

When embarrassed, we may not see clearly.
(Photo: The Rhythm of Our Lives)

And, in like manner:  when we see through the lenses of fear, anger, sorrow, or hurt, we may move away from aspects of Truth which could provide contrasting views.

Often, our faces and bodies outwardly express these filters that we try to hold so closely to our hearts and minds:  We may flush, look away, or close our eyes.  We may walk away or stay away for years.

Our challenge is to change the context:  can we put into words why we were afraid, angry, sad, or hurt -- and -- do we dare share these thoughts with others?

When acting in fear, we may run from the Truth.
(Photo: How to Defeat the Meme of Fear, Huffpost)

Dialogue invites us to revisit individual or shared events -- and together, consider how we may have been playing from individual rules and defining differing contexts.

We are encouraged to remember the number and context, determining whether the context of embarrassment, fear, anger, or some other filter has overshadowed the shared reality.  We are encouraged to seek ways that create a winning hand for all of us in the context of being a community which seeks to understand and support.

As with my family, changing from one game to another meant we needed to change the objects (cards, board, puzzle pieces) and the rules.  With dialogue, how might we change the objects and rules to provide a new context to share what we see, feel, think, and need?

We are invited, through conversation, to explore the rules that may limit our relationships and agree together on how to renew and reengage.  We are invited to free one another from the bonds that have imprisoned us and have served as our cages.

When we are open to new contexts,
we become free from past rules!
(Photo: The Nourished Home)

Suggestions to consider this week:

• Identify any rules that guide or limit your interactions with people who have different views or experiences.
• Consider asking others how they understand a specific situation.
• Explore these rules and context:
• Are there ways to change or update the rules based on your conversations?
• Can the rules be defined in a context of respect and admiration?

May this week flush away outdated rules that limit and imprison.  May new content and understanding provide improved contexts of friendship and community!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting