Who Am I? Who Are We?

If you think about it, oftentimes we are helpless.  For instance, babies when they are born need consistent feeding, nurturing, and protection.  As we enter our teenage years, we need guidance and encouragement.  As adults, we encounter new situations where an easy answer is not readily available.

Maybe helpless isn't the issue:  we need help; we need family and community.

Who can help me?
(Photo:  Baby Photo - 11 hours old)

Observing life's phases, I have noticed physical changes -- just look in the mirror and I see change! -- as well as mental and spiritual changes.  As life has become more complex, I have realized how much help I need from others to understand the changes occurring around us... just look at the misunderstandings, suspicions, and hate directed at people who are different.

To be honest, I don't always understand my own thoughts and inconsistent actions let alone those of others... just look at what we say about our values... and then observe our actions.

Are you confused by our world right now?
(Photo credit:  Internet download)

Rather than feelings of being helpless, I wonder if we should change our mindset to one of being helpful.  Part of this shift might be the nurturing of curiosity about the other person:  encouraging questions about their needs, desires, hopes, and dreams.  It might require space for mystery, wonder, and discovery:  what don't I know, and what can I learn?  It might open the door to humility and trust:  I don't know the answers; I believe that we can help one another.

Where can we learn from one another?
(Photo credit:  Internet download)

As I travel around my neighborhood, city, country, and world, I notice what is familiar and unfamiliar, where I feel like I belong and where I am uncomfortable.  I also notice when I adapt to and resist change.

As we learn more... about ourselves and others... I wonder if we can:

• Relax and experience each moment.
• Refrain from labeling and categorizing.
• Respond with kindness, care, and compassion.

Maybe this week we can take a step closer to understanding that "Who I Am" and "Who We Are" are bridged by helping the helpless, protecting the vulnerable, and healing what separates. 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

 

Healing Our Divide

The events of this past week reminded me of a trip to Iceland in 2011.  I accompanied a group of people to the Þingvellir National Park.  This park has several features: giant fissures in the earth; pathways through the North American and Eurasian tectonic plates; and a vast plain where rivers connect.

As we were guided through the rock formations and looked out on the water-filled landscape, we were told the Icelandic history of its competing populations coming together and discussing their divergent needs in this harsh landscape.

What divides you from others?
(Photo: Þingvellir National Park, 2011 - Larry Gardepie)

The image of these ancient peoples passing between the walls of these two tectonic plates to arrive at Þingvellir, "The Fields of Parliament," was inspiring.

Here we were, a group of tourist-strangers, following the same path:  passing between two seemingly immovable formations that are constantly grinding away at each other, causing temblors as one gained and the other lost.

Do you feel safe with the people around you?
(Photo: Between Two Continents, Þingvellir National Park - Larry Gardepie)

Did I feel safe being near these open fissures and moving plates?  Yes!  Surrounded by strangers, we were people experiencing the same events.

Were we necessarily experiencing them the same way?  No.  We each had our own lenses of culture, upbringing, values, and needs that filtered and interpreted what the guide was telling us.

Can we see and share what is already plentiful?
(Photo: "The Fields of Parliament", Þingvellir National Park - Larry Gardepie)

This seems to be why Þingvellir was chosen as the site for the annual gathering:  the people from other parts of Iceland resented the power and influence of the southwest peoples; the rock formations created a passage that brought unity; the plains had plenty of water; and the peoples brought food for themselves and others to share.

The annual parliament became a time of listening and overcoming the differences of this emerging island-nation.

Listening to the events of this week, I wonder:

• What resentments have built up between our peoples?
• Are there experiences we have in common?
• Do we feel safe with our neighbors?
  

And maybe a final question to consider in the weeks ahead:  where are we willing to gather, share, and listen to what we have in common -- and what divides us?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Seeing Anew

So much happens in our world that we don't see!  That's what I was thinking as I was walking along the shoreline the other day.  Unless we are present and have seen or experienced something, we have to rely on family, friends, work colleagues or some form of media to inform us.

Questions then surface:

• Which sources do we believe or trust?
  
• How do we know what is true or accurate?
  
• Do we need to experience it for ourselves?

 

When have you slowed down and stretched your understanding?
(Photo:  Yoga on the Beach - Larry Gardepie)

Experience, trust, and inquiry are important ingredients to enlighten our narrow views.  Sometimes we go in circles, repeating the same results... that is, until we open ourselves to new information.

 

It is this openness -- receptivity, interest, acceptance -- that creates Possibilities Unimagined.

What risks must you take to understand others?
(Photo:  Luau Fire Dance - Larry Gardepie)

Yes, openness... and risk!  Are we willing to let go of:

• What we thought was happening;
• The conclusions we arrived at;
• The opinions we made?

And, can we See Anew... that is, gain a broader perspective of our ever-changing world?

Do we see the changes before us?
(Photo:  Pacific Beach, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

An image that I like to contemplate:

 

Wave after wave crashes on the people-infested beach, adding to and changing the beach as we know it today.  We stand and frolic in the water, refreshed by the breeze and ocean spray.  The heat of the day is cooled.  Our tiredness is refreshed.

 

I wonder if I truly understand the changes that are happening... to me, in the moment of being refreshed.... to the shoreline, as the waves slowly reshape what I know... to the sandcastle creations, that melt away with each wave.

Is that the Wisdom of Change:  accepting that change is happening each moment and seeing anew the refreshed landscape of life?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

From Adjectives to Labels

Politics is one of those areas that I find fascinating... but would never consider personally for a profession!  We want the best people to step forward to be our leaders... but so much time, energy, and money is spent tearing down these people.  Such a paradox!

I've noticed over the last few decades how varying beliefs and values have divided us: we sometimes can't be in the same room with people who think differently!

Just look at our "social" media:  it is full of memes that repeat slogans and ideologies that separate us.

How do you handle differing views?
(Photo credit:  Facebook download)

Language helps us convey abstract thoughts to another person.  We use words to describe what we are thinking, feeling, seeing, and doing.  We may not always select the right words.  That is why patience and curiosity are important. 

I don't want to use this forum to highlight one political party over another, but a recent example of our current political discourse shows how words shift from being adjectives to becoming labels:  that is, describing someone's words and actions as Weird to then calling that person a Weirdo.

Words have power:  they influence our way of thinking; they sometimes call us to action.

Where are you generous in spirit?
(Photo credit:  Kindred Spirits, Cork, Ireland)

Have you heard this story about the American Indian Choctaw tribe:  in 1847, they heard about the Irish potato famine and collected $200 to send to the starving families in Ireland.  The Choctaw were not rich.  In fact, they too were suffering hardships.  Words describing hardships challenged these people to support others.

The Irish created the Kindred Spirits sculpture in County Cork to commemorate this act of selfless giving: nine 20-foot tall stainless-steel feathers arranged in the shape of a bowl of food.  The Choctaw and Irish are forever joined.

Words moved people to action:  humanity came together to understand Suffering Shared.

When do words set you free?
(Photo: Storefront Design, Carlsbad, CA - Larry Gardepie)

Shifting from adjectives to labels is quick:  we move from descriptors of what we are experiencing to opinions and conclusions about others.  This is the movement from adjectives to labels that I am describing.  We all do this!

I believe that language and words are meant to connect and build, to share meaning and understanding... and to explore similarities and differences.  I don't believe they are intended to hurt... but sometimes they do!

The challenge this election cycle is to listen to our words.  Like the Choctaw, how can we hear the suffering of another and be moved to support?

May our words this week help to free ourselves and others!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Mistaken Identity

An online game that I sometimes play displays a "color word" (e.g., black, blue, red, yellow) and a colored shape (e.g., a blue or red circle; a yellow or black square; a red or yellow triangle).  The task is to decide if the word and the shape's color match.  You are trying to score as many correct answers as you can in a short amount of time.  Every time you play you are trying to improve your previous score.  Simple, right?

There is a trick in the game, though:  the color of the word may match the shape's color, but the word actually may spell out a different color.

Example:  the word may be BLACK but it is colored as blue, and the shape may be blue.  This is NOT a match.... because the color word says BLACK.

It's amazing what our minds see and how we react!

What do you see?
(Photo credit: festival honoring the Greek god Dionysus,
Paris 2024 Olympics - MSNBC)

You may have watched the Opening Ceremony of the Paris 2024 Olympics or have heard some of the commentary following.  What amazes me is how quickly we form opinions, come to conclusions, judge, and become outraged by something we dislike... or don't understand.

Lady Gaga and the Moulin Rouge Can Can Dancers were some of the entertainers along the 3-plus mile route the Olympic athletes took along the Seine River.  No outrage or negative comments.

One tableau paid homage to the early Greek Olympics: it was a scene of an Olympic festival honoring the god Dionysus.  Some people saw this scene as a mockery of DaVinci's iconic "The Last Supper." 

Our minds see what is familiar to us... and how quickly we react!

How do we interpret what is unfamiliar to us?
(Photo: Elizabeth Peratrovich and
Totem Pole, Juneau - Larry Gardepie)

I have been to Juneau several times over the years.  In a recent visit, I noticed a new set of totem poles along the waterway and a portrait of a young indigenous woman. Totem poles tell stories - reading from the bottom up.  The stories of older totem poles are sometimes lost when the elders die.  Looking at these newer poles, I can revel at their beauty and craftsmanship... but I don't know what they are saying.

And, what was the story behind this woman's portrait?  I did a little research and found out that her name was Elizabeth Peratrovich, a woman of the local Tlingit peoples.  In 1941, she saw a sign in a Juneau hotel that read "No Natives Allowed."  She is honored as the first Alaskan civil rights activist who helped people see the harm in excluding others because of their skin, background... and stories.

How many stories are untold?
(Photo:  Gitwilgyoots Tribe panel, Prince Rupert - Larry Gardepie)

Exploring Prince Rupert, we came across an exhibit of wall panels from the native tribal houses.  The panels have similarities -- but are quite different when you spend time looking at the details of each panel.  The local peoples have different stories.  I realized as I stood in front of each panel that I could marvel at the beauty and design, but there was so much I didn't know:  I didn't know the stories; I could not identify. 

There is so much we don't know about ourselves and others!  Our mistake is that we have forgotten some of our stories... or, in the case of people from other countries and cultures, we don't know their stories.

Maybe it's time to...  (How would you finish this sentence?) 
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)