More Irish Musings: Across the Divide

Is the name of the city "Derry" or "Londonderry"?  That is one of the questions we encountered when traveling in Northern Ireland!

It's a matter of who you are talking to:

• For the Irish Catholics, it is Derry (or Doire, a monastic settlement founded by St. Columba and dating back to the 6th century);
• For the Northern Irish Protestants, it is Londonderry (renamed in the 17th century when King James I settled Protestants into the northern counties).

To be respectful, our tour guide suggested, we should say "Derry-Londonderry" to any locals we meet.  (Derry-Londonderry is sometimes referred to as " The Hyphenated City.")

When are we separated from others?
(Photo: Peace Bridge (2011), Derry-Londonderry,
Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

A fact of life in Derry-Londonderry: the Catholics live primarily on one side of the river and the Protestants live on the other.  Our local guide mentioned that he has many friends who stay only on their side of the river and have never met people from the other side.

In 2011, a new walking bridge was constructed to connect the two sides.  It's name -- the Peace Bridge.  The bridge has two towers which hold up the suspended walkway.  Depending on where you stand on the bridge or either shoreline, the towers look either separated or connected (crossing over).

This is meant to symbolize how close or far apart peace can be depending on where you stand -- and/or -- if you are willing to move.

Can we see when we are connected?
(Photo: Peace Bridge, Derry-Londonderry,
Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

As you enter town, you cross over an older bridge and pass by the Hands Across the Divide artwork.  It portrays two men reaching out to each other -- not quite touching.  Erected in 1992, these statues symbolize reconciliation, healing, and the hope for peace.  (Note:  the Good Friday Agreement that allowed peace after centuries of struggle wasn't signed until April 1998.) 

Hands Across the Divide (1992) and the Peace Bridge (2011) remind us of the hope before -- and the continued process after -- a bridge -- or hyphen -- of respect, understanding, and peace is created. 

What keeps us divided?
(Photo: Hands Across the Divide (1992),
Derry-Londonderry - Larry Gardepie)

I wonder how many hyphens we encounter in life?  Just think of those little bridges that connect thoughts, ideas, and people's names; ways that we allow more than one belief to coexist; or how we try to respect another person.

This week let us look for hyphens or create bridges across the divides that separate and isolate us.

These hyphens and bridges may be more common than we think!  Let us work for Peace! 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Our Dilemma

I looked up the definition of Dilemma this week:  "A situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives."  That makes sense, but then I wondered about our current situation:

• Where the country is equally divided;
• Each side excludes the other in discussions and decisions; and
• We don't listen to or engage in other perspectives.

America finds itself at a crossroads... and possibly, a dilemma... but how do we view the equally undesirable alternatives?

Are you being heard?
(Photo: "No Kings" Rally, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

I experienced this Crossroads in two different ways this past week:

• I attended San Diego's "No Kings" March (attended by over 60,000 people).
• I posted a politician's speech on my Facebook page.

(I posted the speech not because I agreed with all of it, but the person presented an interesting perspective of what is happening nationally.)

What values do you believe in?
(Photo: Liberty and Justice for All - Larry Gardepie)

Why are these representative of the crossroads we are facing?

• For the march:  it was peaceful; people wanted to belong; opinions mattered.
• For the online post:  some responses were attacks; discussion shut down.

One online comment even recited the Pledge of Allegiance, emphasizing that the United States is a Republic (not a Democracy) and is "One Nation Under God" (Christian).  

Reviewing our almost 250-year history, it can be said that:

• We are a "Republic" AND we are a "Representative Democracy."
• We have freedom to express our religious views.
• "One Nation Under God" in the Pledge and "In God We Trust" on our money weren't officially adopted until the Eisenhower years (1954 and 1956). 

Can we include everyone?
(Photo:  Aerial View of No Kings March, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

As our country changes and evolves, maybe we need to define Our Dilemma.  It seems that:

• We no longer relate to one another;
• We have lost the elasticity to consider more than two options; and,
• We focus on EITHER-OR thinking rather than BOTH-AND.

If this is true, then we might consider the following questions this week:

• Am I willing to engage in peaceful dialogue?
• Can I seek to understand other perspectives?
• How do I move beyond a "choice between equally undesirable alternatives" to choices of Possibility, Potential, and Opportunity?

These questions are BOTH individual... AND... collective.  Will I (and we) choose to reflect on and share our responses?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Irish Musings: Living with Barriers

Think of the physical barriers in your life: fences that define what you own or that protect your family; walls that keep people out; or possibly gender or skin color prohibiting you from being hired or promoted.

Traveling through Northern Ireland we encountered a variety of barriers that spoke to the divisions in that part of the world.

But what barriers do we live with... here and now?

Do you see through the barriers that separate?
(Photo: Fences and Faces, Belfast, Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

It's important to notice and reflect on the barriers that we -- or others -- create... intentionally or not... for good reason or not! 

And no matter how much we decorate a fence or a wall, we must remember that it is still functioning as a barrier.  Its objective remains:  separating... dividing... obstructing... retaining.

How do you decorate your barriers?
(Photo: Fences and Flowers, Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

This is why I was struck by the stained-glass windows in the Belfast City Hall: they told a story of tragedy (Titanic), heartache (famine), and hope (peace at last).  At the bottom of one colorful window was the following:

"Not as Catholics or Protestants,
 Not as Nationalists or Unionists,
 But as Belfast Workers Standing Together." 

Wow! The honesty to admit the divisions AND be aided by the reality and realization that we CAN live together! 

Can we stand together?  Do we want to?
(Photo: "Standing Together" Stained Glass Window,
Belfast City Hall - Larry Gardepie)

Coming back home, I reentered our American tragedy and heartache - the divisions that no longer allow us to see the individual faces; the labels that keep people out; the barriers that no longer protect... but destroy "the Other."

Our tragedy invites us to ask several questions:

• Are we happy being divided?
• Do we want to stand together, to live together?
• Where is the hope, the peace at last?

These -- and many other questions -- encourage us to overcome our Living Barriers and to become curious about the Other Side of the wall that separates.

We are called to dialogue!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Irish Musings: Barriers Expressed

Travel opens my mind to other cultures and ways of living.  One place that has intrigued me since childhood is Ireland and Northern Ireland:  its history of struggle, violence, and self-determination.

For those of us of a certain age, we can recall "The Troubles" - a polite way of talking about a civil war on an island divided by national identity (Irish and British) and religion (Catholic and Protestant).

The story goes back centuries as various peoples conquered and forced the local inhabitants to follow their laws and beliefs.

Do you see your story in others?
(Photo:  Belfast Murals - Larry Gardepie)

As our tour group traveled around Belfast, the local specialist talked about the struggle for peace and understanding.  We visited areas of the city that have prospered since the Good Friday Agreement of 1998.  We also saw murals and other expressions of homeland struggle, and how local lenses interpret their understanding of other struggles around the world.

The war in Gaza is near to their heart as many murals depict the decades-long struggle of the Palestinians for home rule, something the Irish and British citizens of Belfast can understand.

Where do you see hope around you?
(Photo:  Belfast Murals - Larry Gardepie)

Even with 27 years of peace, the "peace walls" that separate the Catholic and Protestant areas of town still exist.  Tourists are encouraged to write notes of peace and hope on these walls -- expressions of encouragement and solidarity with the locals.

Like the Berlin Wall that separated West and East Berlin in a divided Germany, the intent is eventually to tear down these walls.

What barriers separate you from others?
(Photo:  Belfast Peace Wall, dividing
Catholics and Protestants - Larry Gardepie)

Thinking about the tour guide's words, I wondered:

• Is not being at war the same as living in peace?
• What barriers exist in my relationships with family and friends?
• Do I conquer others with my thoughts, words, and actions -- expecting them to live according to my beliefs?

Ireland and Northern Ireland offer us so many lessons on life's struggles, the importance of dialogue, and how to live in peace.  Peace is a lifelong process!

Do we see the barriers we create?  Are we willing to tear them down?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Seeing Beyond

For those who have flown on an airplane, have you noticed the difference in what you can see... whether sitting in the aisle, middle, or window seats?  For example: what you see out the window depends on how close or far away you are from the window:  the closer you are, the more you see; the further away, the view is more restricted.

In a larger sense, our perspective in life also changes by the physical, mental, or emotional distances we are to what is happening.

What do you see from your position?
(Photo: View from the Middle Seat - Larry Gardepie)

Applying this illustration to an even wider context, think about what we are experiencing in the world around us.  There is so much we don't know because we might not have the position or perspective of those closer to the situation.

That is why we rely on friends and various media sources to keep us informed.  Our time- and space-limited beings are curious about what is happening beyond the filters that govern our daily lives.

What have you seen?  What do you know?  What is important?

Is there a difference between what is close up and beyond?
(Photo:  View from the Window Seat - Larry Gardepie)

Continuing with this same airplane-position analogy, as we hurtle through space and time, our views of the clouds and landscape below constantly change.  The same is happening in this fast-paced and interconnected world: each day brings new stories, facts, opinions, and analysis.

How do we keep up and stay informed?  What do we vet or make up?  Are our conclusions up-to-date and accurate?

How do we see ourselves?
(Photo credit:  Banksy Art - Facebook download)

Why is this important?  Whether we realize it or not, the awareness that our positions and perspectives can change -- and are changing -- is important.  It affects how we see ourselves and how we dialogue (or not) with others.

If we can change our position (physically, mentally or emotionally), doesn't this mean that the other person can change as well?

In other words, awareness opens us to See Beyond our current -- possibly limited -- assumptions or conclusions about others.

Questions to consider this week:

• What sources inform and create us?
• How are these sources influencing our image of the world?
  
• Are there Questions Unasked about another position or perspective?

And most importantly:  are we aware of areas where our positions or views may need to change?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Clouds Illusions

Recently, we had a "Joni-Mitchell-Clouds-Illusions-type" day -- recall her 1966 hit song, "Both Sides Now."   (Click on the link to listen to the song.) 

The clouds throughout the day were magnificent! 

"Rows and floes of angel hair,
Ice cream castles in the air,
And feather canyons everywhere,
::
But now they only block the sun."

It was one of those days when Creation's Beauty invited us to slow down, notice our surroundings, and reflect on life.

Are your Life Plans all lined up?
(Photo:  "Rows and floes of angel hair" - Larry Gardepie)

Like the clouds, the song speaks to the changes and temporariness of life:  we assume we know what is the next best thing for us... then the Winds of Life blow... and we are left wondering.

"It's clouds illusions I recall,
I really don't know clouds at all."

Is it an illusion to know what's best for ourselves and others?  How do we respond when we don't get what we want?

What happens when obstacles block your dreams?
(Photo:  "But now they only block the Sun" - Larry Gardepie)

The challenge, I believe, is to dream and hope and plan... balanced with a healthy acceptance of floating and adjusting. That is, the willingness to:

• Welcome and embrace the unexpected;
• Adapt and flow with new experiences; and,
• Consider and adjust when previously unseen Truths Emerge.

Maybe that's the purpose of life: to have our dreams AND to evolve our understanding of purpose, values, and connectedness.

What don't you know?
(Photo: "Ice cream castles in the air" - Larry Gardepie)

What is beautiful about Joni's prophetic song is her repetition of the words "Both Sides Now":

"I've looked at clouds from both sides now."
"I've looked at love from both sides now."
"I've looked at life from both sides now"

It's the humble acceptance that we might not know everything right now, we must stay in dialogue with others, and our illusions (assumptions?) might change.

Let's be open to looking at both sides now!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Experiments with Beauty

Visiting my brother and sister-in law's house a few weeks ago, we all marveled at the roses that sparkled with newly-fallen raindrops.  The beauty and fresh scents triggered memories of Dad's roses and the gifts of flowers given on special occasions.

Each of us can describe individual awe-inspiring moments when Nature's beauty is revealed: newborn babies; a peaceful death; grand canyons; rainbows; baby chicks, puppies and kittens...  We are fortunate that so many moments exist!

Our daily lives and burdens stop for that one moment:  we are transformed by the Beauty Surrounding.

When was the last time you were transformed by Beauty?
(Photo: Red Rosebud with Raindrops - Larry Gardepie)

Then, we get on with life... the moment fades away... and we soon relegate that Transformative Moment to memories.

I wonder what would happen if...

• We sought out Beauty;
  
• We clung desperately to that Moment; and,
• We transfigured how we related to the World?

Do you think this Experiment could work?

Which rose is more beautiful?  Must we choose?
(Photo: Orange Rose with Raindrops - Larry Gardepie)

For example: what would happen if we transferred our wonder and awe to someone we loved or cared for?  As we approached them, could we let go of our Critical Mind and only see Beauty?

Or, another experiment:  can we see the Beauty and Worth of someone where there are disagreements or we experience some distance?

I don't know if this can be done or how to do it... but what would our world be like if we saw the Teardrops Sparking in the eyes of every family member, colleague, or estranged person in our life?

As the bud opens, what do we see?
(Photo: Rose with Raindrops - Larry Gardepie)

Our answers may be found in Creation:  the bud opening; the dewdrop being absorbed; new growth sprouting from rich soil.

Each reveals an action of surrender:

• The bud showcasing what is to come.
• The dewdrop nourishing.
• The soil hosting new life.

Would you like to experiment with me this week? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Inside the Lines?

As a child, I remember my parents and teachers telling us to color inside the lines of the drawing.  Later on, as a second grade teacher, I instructed my students the same way... "Stay inside the lines."  (I found out later this was about hand-eye coordination and developing small motor skills.)

Even when we "lined up" outside the classroom, we were expected to line up in straight lines.  As a shorter student, this often meant I couldn't see anything in front of us!

Finally, one of our teachers had us line up in order of height -- smaller in front, taller in back.  I could now see what was in front of me, but suddenly I realized I was the third shortest boy in the class!  (Rules bring awareness!)

Do you stay "inside the lines" (follow the rules)?
(Photo credit:  Coloring Inside the Lines, Derrick Hurst)

For those of us who were taught how to drive, we learned the Rules of the Road... how to stay inside the proper lanes... when to indicate our next action... how fast we were expected to go (or not go!).

As a Country of Law and Order, these earlier SCRs (Socially Constructed Realities) molded and defined us.  We knew what to do and what was expected of us.  We were kept safe by these overlayering SCRs.

How many rules do you follow religiously?
(Photo:  San Diego Freeway - Larry Gardepie)

I believe it is healthy to have conversations about these rules, expectations, and constructed realities.  They provide context for our societal interactions.  And, as society changes, we must address new realities and guidelines.

What is disappointing, though, is how these norms are being reversed unilaterally... without discussion or input from the affected populations.  We bludgeon The Other with our own unwritten biases and self-rules.  We are Right -- They are Wrong.

Did you hear the invitation to dialogue... and listen?
(Photo credit:  Pope Leo XIV, Vatican News)

As world leaders change, there is an understanding that priorities might shift.  But did you notice the differences in how media sources covered the transition in U.S. politics and the death of Francis I, the mourning period, and the days of decision-making that culminated in the announcement of Leo XIV?

Pope Leo has called us to love, to dialogue... and to listen.  Are we ready to accept this invitation?

SCRs and the world order may be changing, but questions for us:

• Can we indicate our next actions with dignity and respect for the other?
• Whether inside or outside the lines, can we work toward trust and unity?
• How do we develop the skills to dialogue with and listen to differing viewpoints?
  

Each person holds the answers to these questions.  How do you respond?

Reminder:  Rules and Dialogue bring Awareness.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Perceptions' Reflections

A friend shared one of this week's comics, Pooch Cafe.  (Thank you, Ron!)  It closely tracked my musings:

• How do I see my world?
• Are there ingrained filters that limit what I see?
• When might my perceptions of people be inaccurate or untrue?

These reflections began at my youngest brother's milestone birthday celebration last weekend.  (Happy Birthday, Kevin... age purposely not disclosed!)

Through what filters do you see the world?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pooch Cafe, Paul Gilligan, May 2, 2025)

Looking around at my siblings, nieces, nephews, their spouses, children, and Kevin's friends, I realized [again!] how much my sisters and brothers have changed since we were young and lived together with my parents.  Our journeys have diverged, and we have sought out different interests, adventures, and discoveries. (Wonderful variety and diversity!)

 

Going back even further, I recalled an assignment I gave my second-grade class: with a black marker, I created different squiggly lines on art paper.  The students were asked to use their imagination and creativity to draw what they saw in their individual squiggly line.  The results were wonderful, drawing on that person's unique views and experiences.

How do you use your imagination and creativity?
(Photo: Brian's Creative Snail, 1979)

Being a church-based school, another assignment I gave the class was to write about their favorite Bible story.  Tommy wrote about David and Goliath.  Looking back these many years, I see much of Tommy's early life in his reflected story: standing up to older brothers and a parent who minimized him.

 

I wonder:  How do these family stories and filters define our lives?  Are we constantly living or escaping these stories?  Where did Tommy take his story after he moved on with his life?

What are your favorite stories?
(Photo: Tommy's Favorite Bible Story, 1978)

As we become aware of how we see or experience the world, maybe our challenge is to show up with honesty and humility:  that is, showing up as we are today AND sharing with others the person we are becoming.

 

Our invitation -- using imagination and creativity -- is to honor the squiggly lines that began our Life's Journey and respect the variety of paths we and others have taken.

 

I am curious: where are you in your journey this week?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Bridges or Walls?

Every day is a reminder... of how fragile life is... of hope and resiliency... of the need for love and kindness.  Also, every day can be a reminder that we have a choice... to do good... to do no harm... to help and support others.

Pope Francis' life and people's reflections on his death are a testament to his choices... and those that he encouraged from all of us.

He often used the image of bridges and walls.  In his words of October 31, 2024:

"Communication should aim to build bridges where many build walls; to foster community where many deepen divisions; to engage with the tragedies of our time, where so many prefer indifference."

What walls encircle you?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Waterson)

Bridges or walls?  Community or division? Engage or ignore?

These are a some of the choices we encounter every day in our responses... to someone in need of assistance... to a person seeking asylum... to a world struggling to breathe.

Unless a bridge is old, no longer useful, or needs to be replaced, you very rarely hear of a bridge being torn down.  It serves its purpose year after year.  Bridges connect.

Has your communication created bridges or walls?
(Photo credit: Vatican News)

Walls, on the other hand, are built to protect, separate, or divide... whether for our homes (protecting family or animals), between countries (defining boundaries), or dividing cities (East and West Berlin).

There may come a time where walls also need to be torn down:

• In the words of President Reagan: "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
• When boundaries change or expand.
• After we become isolated or helpless.
  

Where can you replace a wall with a bridge?
(Photo credit:  Internet download)

As we watch or participate in the public mourning of Pope Francis, let us:

• Become aware of the walls and bridges between family and friends;
  
• Welcome the opportunity to tear down walls that separate or divide; and,
• Choose to build bridges that connect.

Our choice this week?  To do good... to do no harm... to help and support others.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

Our Story

My older brother, Steve, has always been the family historian.  After Mom and Dad died and after I retired, I suddenly became interested in Our Story.  Maybe it's the loss of family members and missing their voices that opened me to wondering about Stories Remembered and Stories Untold.

Ancestry.com became a tool to reconstruct our family tree with its many branches.  I have been transported from the Midwest states of Iowa, South Dakota, and Missouri to French Canadian Quebec cities and towns... and back to Gascony, France.

Do you have family stories untold?
(Photo:  My Maternal Great-Grandmother - Larry Gardepie)

Dates and photos weren't enough, though.  I wondered what my forebearers were thinking and feeling:  Why move so far away from family?  What did they find in their new countries?  How did they survive when local people didn't accept them?

So I turned to the family historian!  He had documented the stories by interviewing those relatives now gone.  He listened and remembered.

Steve and I have gotten together several times in the past few months:  talking, listening, going through Boxes of Memories.

What decisions have affected others?
(Photo: My Paternal Grandfather - Larry Gardepie)

I discovered stories of affairs that ended in divorce, a father leaving his young family, rich farm land being auctioned because the brother could not be found.  And there were stories of love, caring, and kindness -- families helping others, welcoming strangers, and working together.

I am sure we all have stories hidden away, waiting to be retold, listened to and passed along.  Stories define us as a family, a neighborhood, a town, and a country.

How do you define family?
(Photo:  My father as a baby with his parents
and siblings - Larry Gardepie

These ancestral reflections have become especially poignant during this Lenten season, Passover remembrance, Holy Week journey, and Easter promise.  That is, daily disturbances challenge our shared American Story as:

• Religious freedom morphs into the domination of one religion's views.
• The images of Melting Pot, Tapestry, and Mosaic transform the strengths found in our diversity into hatred and expulsion.
• The Rule of Law becomes a mockery as Justice is no longer blind.
  

As we move forward in the weeks ahead, though, let us remember what is good about our Shared Story:  the Common Good... Good Will toward All...  Respect and Consideration of Others.

Let us bring to life the Story of Us -- All of Us -- and remember who we are... together.

After all, my story isn't complete without you!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting