Saturday, October 2, 2021

Stepping Stones to Understanding

Working with a local non-profit, I have been asked to develop a process to address the systemic changes and restructuring they are experiencing.  The CEO mentioned several times that he wanted Stepping Stones to show what might be done at various stages of their reorganization.  Familiar with my dialogue studies of the past seven years, I am aware that any change brings about low awareness.

Just think about changes you have experienced.  There were probably periods of uncertainty and  doubt.  There may have been times when people blamed others.  Not understanding what was happening, We begin to talk about They... the Others causing the problems or asking us to change.  We may have become reactive, mistrusted other people's motives, and became self-absorbed.

What is the first step we could have taken?

What steps do you take to understand change?


The first step for me is Noticing: the act of perceiving, becoming aware, and paying attention.

Noticing creates a Pause that allows questions to surface about the calm or turbulent moments in my life:

  • What am I afraid of in this moment?
  • Am I open to learning something new about myself and others?
  • Am I willing to listen in order to understand?
  • Who has information that needs to be shared?

How do you stay focused when journeying
between calm and turbulent times in your life?
 

It seems that Willingness is a key step for me: the inclination or readiness to  do something.  Noticing-Pausing-Willingness are tied together, beginning a journey across the divide that separates me from others.
 
If you've ever crossed a river using the stones scattered across its surface, you sometimes slip or fall into the river.  You learn that some steps are wobbly and need to be approached with caution; other stones are more stable and are easier to use.  Our stepping stones to understanding are similar: as we become more aware, we notice which steps we don't feel comfortable with -- possibly because we haven't practiced that skill or the situation is new to us.
 
The next steps we need to take?

How might you cross the waters
that divide?

When I am uncomfortable with my skill set, I have learned two other steps:  naming the fact that I Need Help and Asking for Help.  These are two very vulnerable and humbling steps!  By recognizing that I Don't Have All the Answers (another step), I find myself more open to Listening and Learning.
 
The project I am working on for the non-profit CEO, defining the stepping stones to change, seems similar to the stepping stones of understanding:

Open to Listening and Learning
I Don't Have All the Answers
Asking for Help
I Need Help
Willingness
Pausing
Noticing
 

What steps help you to understand?
 

Larry Gardepie

(click on link for website)

4 comments:

  1. Another great reflection! Imagining the process as stepping stones makes it seem less intimidating and therefore more likely to happen.

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    1. Thanks, Darcy! As you know, images help me clarify my thinking process… and stepping stones allowed me to break down our dialogue skills in steps I could remember. Glad you liked the blog!

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  2. It is easier to walk on the stones if we listen to understand, not to judge.
    Thank you for your beautiful reflexions Larry!

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    1. Yvette, thank you for your beautiful observation! Such an important step… moving from judging to understanding… from opinions to facts!

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