Hi! My name is Larry G, and I am a recovering dialogue-aholic! I had several encounters this past week where I hit bottom: I realized that dialogue was not the answer in every situation.
The first instance occurred last weekend. I was in line behind someone, waiting to check out of a hotel. Simple task: wait patiently, check out, put the suitcases in the car, and leave.
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| Where do you see beauty? (Photo: Rose Window, Notre Dame Cathedral, Paris - Larry Gardepie, 2006) |
This simple task became complicated when the customer and hotel clerk visited for several minutes. Overhearing what others are saying isn't always a good thing, especially in this situation when the customer -- wearing a red cap -- began spouting how Liberals were ruining the country and how wearing a red cap often triggers them.
After several more minutes where work wasn't being transacted, we got the clerk's attention. She asked what we wanted, and we explained we would like to check out and get a receipt. Several more minutes later, the customer eventually moved away, across the lobby, and waited for the elevator.
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| What happens when storm clouds arrive in your life? (Photo: Storm clouds over Panama City - Larry Gardepie, 2019) |
Sound okay so far? Suddenly, from across the lobby, the previous customer started yelling at us, calling us "F------ Liberals" and how we can't stand her wearing her red cap. Then she began coming towards us yelling more hated-filled speech.
Feeling in danger, dialogue was nowhere in my head! I yelled back for her to stop and move away from us. (For those who know me, this is not me!)
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| When are you called to lofty peaks? (Photo: Denali, Alaska - Larry Gardepie, 2004) |
The customer moved away but kept yelling at us until the elevator doors opened and she left the lobby. Dialogue was not on my mind when I turned toward the hotel clerk, and angrily accused her of not doing her job, engaging in political speech, and not coming to our aid when the abusive person was accosting us. She smiled and said she was doing her job by checking us out of the hotel.
The second instance this week? I am still reflecting on what happened... and will write about it next week!
Hi! My name is Larry G, and I am a recovering dialogue-aholic!
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| Larry Gardepie Dialogue San Diego Consulting |
I am afraid that the new administration is signaling approval of violent actions.
ReplyDeleteYes, it seems like it. We will have to wait and see. No matter how dark, humanity always has a choice. Elie Wiesel, Viktor Frankl, and other concentration camp survivors have shared their experiences. Mohandas Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. have been role models of non-violence. Many church and spiritual leaders offer teachings and practice centered on hope. We have inner work to do -- as well as outer work of community-building and working for the common good. If people are hurting, we have a responsibility to listen.
DeleteShe sounds mentally imbalanced. Perhaps that is tapping into de-escalation skills, instead of dialogue skills. Which it sounds like you did, with your firm response! The clerk is another story...
ReplyDeleteWe wondered about her mental state. She was fine when talking to the clerk. My problem? I don't like getting so angry! My brother said he had never seen me so angry!
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