Questions Within Questions: Where Do We Start?

In a recent meeting, I noticed that I was quieter than normal, listening intently to the questions addressed by colleagues to our supervisor and their subsequent interchange.  I was silent because something was stirring within me:

• I was aware that I too needed answers about the priority, decisions, and direction of our projects, but
• I was experiencing déjà vu - a sense that I had experienced this situation many times before.

I realized later that the noticed familiarity was my continued attempt at ordering my life.  As a former project manager, I sought structure, a way to understand what was needed or expected.

Questions: building a case for structure
-- the balance between order and chaos

I recalled other times when I sought to bring clarity, understanding, and harmony between people.  I was told then that I often asked questions that could not be answered at that moment, and that my need for structure and harmony -- taking unrelated bits of information and adding meaning by bringing them together -- could block or become a barrier for others.  My focus on A Question, seeking The Answer, or the other person's inability to answer might be at the expense of the relationship.

Questions:  building a case for harmony
- the gracefulness of when to Lead and Follow

What I have been learning from our Dialogue Practice is the art of asking questions... and, just as importantly, asking at the appropriate time!  It seems that the elements of curiosity and discovery are key to the question being asked -- unlocking the actual question or answer and opening the door to what is beyond.

Example:  in the past, I have experienced My Question (seeking clarity) as separate from Your Answer (adding a dimension that I did not expect).  But now, I am learning that The Journey of searching for the Question-within-the-Question illuminates the path of intention and motivation behind the question... and brings us together for the next question and answer.  We walk through the doorway together!

Questions: building a case to see within
- the ability to discover the Whole

As we continue on our unpredictable journey of discoverability, let us consider the following:

• Why am I asking this question of another person?
• Where does this question fall within the continuum of our relationship?
• What happens if I hear answers different than what I expected or wanted to hear?
• How might I hold lightly the question, the answers, the relationship, and the journey?
• What next? 

May this next week provide us many opportunities to experience the 'What Next?' of our journey -- through the questions we ask; the answers we give; and the ability to discover... the Truth to be Revealed... in Us!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting