"Dialing In" to Dialogue

Jeff, my work supervisor, and I had a far-ranging conversation this past week.  He mentioned that, at times, it is complicated or difficult to balance the various relationships and responsibilities in life.  For instance, when he spends more time at work, it takes away from time with his wife and daughters.

To illustrate his point, he suggested that life is like a panel of dials: when he dials in on one aspect of his life, another area may be impacted.  Unwanted or negative feedback in one area may require other dials to be adjusted... which then may impact additional areas.

In essence, life is interconnected, and creating balance requires being attentive to more than one dial.

Dialing In:  how do you keep your life balanced?
(Photo credit:  Music Mastering Service, Mercury Mastering)

Let's take this Wall of Dials imagery a step further:  let's say that you have your wall of dials... your Control Center... and I have mine.  Each of us may have unique dials in our Centers -- our core values, relationships that are important, cultural enrichment...  There are so many individual aspects of our lives that may differ!  At my core -- my center -- I have a choice of which dials to monitor and adjust; and each of my choices may look and respond differently from yours!

Let's assume then that each person:

• Tries to understand and maintain a balance in life;
• Operates and makes choices individually; and,
• Is doing the best she or he can.

How, then, should we respond when one of us adjusts a dial on an individual control center, and is unaware of the impact it has on another person?

• What do we think about our individual actions and their impact?
• How we we feel about self and other when we learn about the impact?
• What actions do we take when we need to adjust our individual control centers?

 

Dialing In: how do you maintain your relationships?
(Sister Cities of Los Angeles)

Sister Cities International offers a model that "recognizes, celebrates, and magnifies the catalytic power of people-to-people interaction through mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation -- one individual, one community at a time."  Each city, community, and individual makes a choice on which dials bring value to and fosters connection between these relationships.

Therefore, Dialing in requires a choice  I am not intending to hurt you.  I want to be in community (common unity) with you.  I want to learn about your dial-adjustments.  I want to support common values... as well as your values.

Dialing In: what chairs are empty around you?

For me, the Wall of Dials conjures up images of a scientist or technician or artist working for the perfect balance in this experiment called Life.  Along with the need to adjust life's choices, I sometimes gravitate toward an image of two chairs facing the same way.  This image invites me to sit and listen to a family member, friend, or work colleague; ask questions out of curiosity; and learn how my choices may have impacted you.

Understanding the images of Dialing In and Dialogue allow us to see possibilities of when we might communicate and coordinate our adjustments so that Community Life becomes balanced.


May this week encourage choices of discovery: when and how to fine-tune Life's many dials... which will improve all of our lives!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)