Masks: What Are We Hiding?

Announcement:  "There will be a masquerade party tonight!"  Great!  But we didn't know there would be a masquerade party, and we hadn't brought a mask!  I wonder if we could wear a COVID mask... or would that project a negative message?!

This brief situation -- an unexpected invitation, followed by a mild panic, then questioning what would be appropriate -- ended just as quickly:  the host would provide masks!

Are you aware when you put on a mask?
(Photo: Statue on ms Zuiderdam - Larry Gardepie)

This is how a blog theme begins!  Throughout any given week I notice a hesitation or a bump along my road in life.  I begin to wonder what was said or just happened, and then I reflect on my reaction and how I might have responded differently.

 An announcement for a party suddenly became a reflection on masks!

• Am I aware of the masks I put on? 
• How do others see these masks?
• Is there a way to remove the mask and be myself?

And maybe a more important question:  WHY do I wear these masks?

What does your mask look like?
(Photo: Statue on ms Zuiderdam - Larry Gardepie)

I don't have answers yet for these questions, but what I am realizing is that some masks are created:

• Out of fear of what others might think of me;
• To protect myself from these fears; and,
• As a way to project who I want to be.

In addition, maybe it comes down to expectations of myself and expectations that others have of me... that is, expectations I have accepted and put on, like a mask!

How do you interpret other people's masks?
(Photo: JM, ms Zuiderdam crew member - Larry Gardepie)

As I dig deeper, I wonder what I -- or we-- might be hiding:

• Feelings of incompetence?
• Fear of being rejected?
• Not feeling accepted?

I guess it is okay to put on a mask of calm or patience when working with others who are afraid or who are trying to learn... but some of our masks might isolate and give a false sense of security.

Maybe it is time to notice our various masks.  Maybe it is time to talk about what our masks mean.  Maybe it is time to take the risk of lowering a mask or two and being accepted for the beautiful people we are. 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Confessions of a Masked Minority

Is it safe to say that people are tired of COVID-19 and want life to return to normal?  It seems that way!  I find it interesting -- maybe even intriguing -- as I've watched people's reactions when State or County restrictions or guidelines have changed or eased over these many months:  moments of confusion, misunderstanding, anger or acceptance.

I understand, on one level, the disruption and isolation caused by the inconvenience of this pandemic.  Not knowing what is expected or appropriate in different situations can be unnerving.  We want to know how to fit in... and be safe.

I wonder:  what have we learned and where are we, as a society, headed?  Why do we continue to struggle when someone looks or acts different than the majority?

Do you mask your thoughts and feelings?

Several weeks ago, the majority of people were wearing masks and social distancing.  Today, mask wearing is done by fewer people... at least we are seeing fewer physical masks!  (It was amazing how quickly people were ready to ditch those masks at their first opportunity!)

But, are we ready to remove the Masks Hidden by our beliefs and conclusions of others?

Change is not easy when we stay caged in the labels we place on others... or the labels that identify us.  These self-created definitions oftentimes thrive on whether we are a member of the majority or minority, the boundaries that limit and separate us.

What happens when you feel caged in?

 I don't think we can escape the affects of this past year:

• Political tensions and dysfunction
• Safety guidelines adapted to what is known or feared about the virus
• Inequities and injustices surfacing

The pandemics of power, wealth, and justice create imbalances when not shared, not earned fairly, or not allowed equal access.  Our masks and cages keep us from achieving the true human potential we all desire.

Where do you find comfort?

Comfort may come when it is okay to wear a mask -- or take it off -- without being judged.  Comfort may come when we join with others -- masked or unmasked, willingly or imposed -- to understand The Why behind the realities of being a minority, the feelings of isolation, and the chains that bind.  Comfort may come when we sit in human solidarity. 

 

Comfort also comes when we realize the independence that this holiday celebrates: the ability to live in freedom balanced with the responsibility to protect each other's independence.  After all, how important is the mask if it doesn't protect... followed by the freedom when the mask is removed because we are all safe... together?

May we have a safe and healthy Day of Independence.  May those who have a majority status learn to protect those identified as a minority.  May our definitions and labels become unmasked as we understand the reality that we are one.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

Dialogue Unmasked

Remember how fun it was to dress up for Halloween?  Transforming our everyday appearance into images of fantasy, fright, or fun?  I wonder if there are others moments where we dress up and masquerade as someone else?

Think back on parties, events or work where you are asked to step away from yourself and come as a different person.  I dread some of those interactions:  it feels like I am judged by how creative or dull people see me.

I have come across many places where masks and costumes are part of the culture:  the Beefeaters (ceremonial guards) at the Tower of London; revelers in New Orleans' Mardi Gras and the Venetian Carnevale; and palace docents in Vienna or Honolulu.

Each has a variation on hiding behind or changing into another appearance.

How beautiful are your masks?
(Photo credit:  Venetian Masks Tradition -
The Real Beauty of Carnevale, Life in Italy)

These examples of mask-wearing transform us temporarily into other people.  I wonder then about the acceptance or resistance of wearing masks to protect us from transmitting or catching the COVID virus: what does it say about our Real Person?

What are we hiding behind?  What do we fear?  How are we being judged?

What is behind your mask?
(Photo credit:  Alex Iby, @alexiby, Unsplash)

These are a few of the questions we might consider as we remove masks that keep us from experiencing our True Self.

• If we project strength at all times, do we fear our human weaknesses?
• If we transmit confidence, what happens when we don't know what to do?
• If we appear all-knowing, is there something we need to learn?

Can we unmask ourselves safely?
(Photo credit:  Coronavirus Mask Parade -
Diverse and United, healthcare-in-europe.com)

Through dialogue -- noticing, sharing what we see, and asking questions -- the masks that hide and falsely protect us are removed.  We begin to see beyond the masquerade that we have it all together.  Instead, True Self to True Self shines light on the beauty that already exists -- hidden behind the mask that has dimmed who are are.

 

Rather than  create a projection of another persona, the Mask Removed allows us to explore the mystery of the Person Already Created.

 

Though COVID masks are  still needed to protect against COVID, I wonder if it is time for us to remove the masks that transmit viruses of doubt, fear, hatred, and intolerance?

 

What masks are you wearing this week?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)