Revelations

A few years ago, I read a book written by Oprah WInfrey, What I Know for Sure.  She reflected on her life and what she has learned along the way.  Because of her fame, I wondered how different her lessons were from my own.

Let me stick my neck out and share a few things I have learned.

What makes you smile?
(Photo: San Diego Zoo Safari Park - Larry Gardepie)

Life is Good!  This is a phrase a coworker used quite often to describe his experiences of life that day.  For many of us, life is good… but I would add, Life is Better when we think of others and try to make their lives easier.  In other words, my life cannot be good in a vacuum.  We are social beings…. People-in-Relationship, so my life can only be good when yours is as well.  What do you need? May I help?

Where do you find beauty?
(Photo:  Honolulu skyline as seen from the ocean - Larry Gardepie)

Our World is Beautiful!  When I pay attention, I begin to notice the beauty surrounding me: flowers unfolding; insects working; trees breathing; creatures being.  There is a familiarity in what we encounter each day, but there is also mystery when we see our World Anew.  Am I willing to slow down?  Do I anticipate beauty in the world... and in you?

What is good in our world?
(Photo: White Peacock, Isola Bella, Lake Maggiorre, Italy - Larry Gardepie)

People are Good!  As a supervisor responsible for overseeing a department’s effectiveness, the tendency might be to discover what is not working.  I noticed the look on my employees’ faces when I caught a mistake… embarrassment, shame, anger, confusion.  I also felt my own uneasiness. Then I discovered another approach: See the Good — that is, catch people doing a good job, congratulating them on a job well done. In most instances, people want to do what is right — we have to be present and help them notice the difference.  Where have you seen goodness?  How have you supported it?

There are many other lessons I have learned… but I am curious: what have you learned?  Let’s talk about what is good and beautiful!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Hidden Thoughts

Watching a herd of swans in Windsor, England, I noticed they were pressed together, facing the same direction, and waiting for tourists to feed them.  Some stayed calm while the bread was tossed; others were frantically trying to get to the food.  Hunger does that when self-survival is at stake.

This image came to mind as I read today’s news: the struggle for power and the desire for one ideology to dominate another — Self and Survival!

When are you challenged to blend in?
(Photo: Windsor Swans, England - Larry Gardepie)

Another image flashed across my mind:  our elementary and high school need to fit in and be like everyone else…or wanting others to Be Like Me.

Contradictions began stacking up as I reflected on these images:

• When do we truly become individuals… with so much of our commercial and political environments suggesting that we fit in and be like others?
• Can ideas and ideologies coexist… when we are in an endless loop of one way of thinking dominating another?
• Are Self and Survival hardwired… and will Others and their survival be denied?

What do you see from your hidden place?
(Photo: Salzburg, Austria - Larry Gardepie)

Fear surfaces when our language focuses on Us-or-Them. Low awareness tends to build walls to keep others out.  We fight for our survival… not realizing that we may be denying another person their survival.  Does it have to be this way, though?

We remember the schoolyard lessons of competition… Winning-Losing… and we somehow forget the importance of Sharing.

Living in fear requires that we band together, face the same direction, and value like-minded thinking.  Sharing opens us to the possibility that both can exist... and survive!

Is it possible to see beyond your hidden thoughts?
(Photo: Puye Cliff Dwellings, New Mexico - Larry Gardepie)

I wonder where our inner hunger comes from:

• The desire to become an individual with differing views?
• A willingness to accept someone for who they are?
• The need to form a community with varied talents and ideas?

As we move further into this New Year, let’s talk about our fears, seek ways to overcome them, and share our hidden thoughts.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Perspective Matters

As a child, do you remember drawing a picture of your house and your family?  My house was block-ish with its walls and roof but my family members were proportional with my parents taller and each sibling smaller according to their age.  The concept of height and family order seemed to be understood.

Later, in art class, we learned about dimensions and perspective:  drawing an object with various elements larger when closer to us or smaller when farther away.

Are we taught about perspective or do we observe and replicate perspectives?

How do we understand positions further away?
(Photo:  Balboa Park Colonnade, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

I was reflecting on the matter of perspectives when I was walking in Balboa Park a few weeks ago:  the 1915 colonnades provided a multi-dimensional labyrinth of ideas...

• We judge distance by comparing one object against another.
• Objects are in relationship to one another.
• Can the relative worth of one exist without the other?
  

Is this the same for ideas, opinions, and ideologies:  we compare and contrast; they must be in relationship; existence relies on the other?

Can "like" objects be different?
(Photo:  Wrought Iron Fence, Holland Park, London - Larry Gardepie)

As I played with these musings, I looked at both natural and human-constructed elements of our world... like flowers and weeds (both are plants); boundaries and fences (one defines; the other limits); walls and ceilings (support and cover).

A dependency of comparisons exists that support our thoughts and socially constructed realities (SCRs).  That is, what we:

• Like or don't like;
  
• Value or don't value;
• Consider to be true or not.

I wonder... is our sense of Right and Wrong taught or observed?

What is more important: the walls or the ceiling?
(Photo:  Bath Cathedral, England - Larry Gardepie)

As we begin this New Year, it may be helpful to explore another person's perspective.  What matters to me might not matter to that other person!

 

As we compare our different viewpoints, it also might be important to consider our relationships:

• Is this relationship important?
  
• Do we want to stay in relationship?
• How does this relationship provide perspective and depth?

May these days ahead challenge us to grow beyond our earlier blockish understanding and learn or observe how to appreciate other views.

 

Perspective matters!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Ending Reflections

Is it possible that another year is coming to an end?!  It seems like 2024 just began... and we were looking forward to the extra day (Leap Year:  February 29), Summer Olympics, and the Presidential Elections!

Now it is time to look back and reflect:

• What have we learned about ourselves?
• What could we have done differently?
• Did we show love, kindness and caring towards others?

Where has your heart led you?
(Photo: Heart in San Francisco Project - Larry Gardepie)

I have met many beautiful and wonderful people over this past year.  Our diversity in nationalities, cultures and faiths have helped me to understand something about myself:  I-Do-Not-Know-Everything.  Rather, I have so much to learn!

 

This simple admission on my part can open my mind and heart to accept another person's experiences.

What do people see in your reflection?
(Photo: Salisbury Cathedral Baptismal Font, England - Larry Gardepie)

Then, as I listen and accept others, I have found Curiosity-Becomes-Engaged.  I find that I ask more and more questions: no longer to judge against What-I-Know but to lessen What-I-Do-Not-Know.

 

I must admit, my ability to listen and ask Questions-Out-Of-Curiosity is not perfect!  But when I am aligned to a childlike quality of Wanting-to-Learn, I find life easier!

How clearly do you see The Real?
(Photo: Chilkat Bald Eagle Preserve, Haines, Alaska - Larry Gardepie)

The interesting part of being human is our ability to choose... to know or not know; to learn or not learn; to be kind or not.

 

In most situations, we have a choice in how we respond.  I wonder how often I -- or you -- stay on autopilot in this busy world and do not see the choices before us? 

 

As we end this Year 2024, I am curious:

• What have you learned about yourself and our world?
• What would you change or want to do over?
• How would you like to end this year and begin the next?
  

 

I would like to end this reflection by thanking you for your insights and comments this past year (through blog comments, personal texts, and emails).  I have learned from you!

 

May you stay safe over the New Year's celebrations... choose wisely!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Holiday Projections

Memories.... nostalgia... regrets and gratitude.  It's that time of year when anticipation, excitement, and emotions mix and collide.  What-Was, What-Is, and What-Is-Hoped-For flow from mind to heart inviting us to reflect and project:

Reflect inwardly on what has been, and

Project outwardly the needs and desires of ourselves and others.

What do you project outwardly?
(Photo: Museum of Us, Balboa Park,
San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

As in most cities and towns, ours is decorated in holiday finery and music wafts through the air no matter where we go.  Neighborhoods are brightened by twinkly lights and cartoonish characters.

This season seems different than others throughout the year: light overcomes darkness; giving conquers miserliness; hope can defeat despair.

How do you light up your world?
(Photo: Christmas Lights, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

But, even with all of the love and cheer, there is still loneliness, bitterness, and disappointment.  There are people struggling and still looking for a room to lay down their head.  

Remember, this is a season of anticipation, excitement, and emotions-mixing-and-colliding.

Our assignment -- if we choose -- is to:

• Notice what is happening around us;
• Ask questions based on our awareness; and,
  
• Listen to understand.
  

Can you accurately reflect what is seen?
(Photo: Seaport Village, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

Listening provides insights and tools to reflect inwardly and project outwardly another person's needs and desires while aligning them with our own.

 

If you haven't looked at Eastern Idaho News' "Secret Santa" videos on YouTube (click here), there may be ways that we can help others... not to change how they feel, but to say that we see, hear, and care.

 

Let us reflect inwardly on what has been and project outwardly what is... or could be... if we but listen and understand.  It is that time of year!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting