Being Shaped

I have had the opportunity to watch glass blowing in Ireland, Italy, Mexico, and the United States.  I am impressed by the artists' skills, patience, and ability to imagine a Shape Unrevealed.  From an unpracticed eye, seeing a a blob of molten glass expanding and being formed into a vase, horse, hummingbird, or flower is mesmerizing.

It takes years of practice to perfect these skills and artistry... as it takes years for us to practice our dialogue and interpersonal skills.

What do you see in this molten blob?
(Photo:  Glass Blowing, Waterford Crystal, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

These reflections were forming when our tour group walked from station to station in the Waterford Crystal Factory: red-hot glass being formed into predefined shapes, followed by the smoothing of the cooled-down product... and quality inspection; grids being marked off to guide the etcher into cutting intricate patterns... followed by quality inspection; creating non-blown shapes into musical instruments, flags, awards, and memorial displays... and inspection!

Several people and various methods were required to create different outcomes, always followed by inspection. 

What values are etched in your heart and mind?
(Photo: Crystal Etching, Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

As we practice our dialogue skills, we follow similar methods:

• Someone is needed to blow life into an observation, opinion, or assumption.
• Others are needed to shape, reshape or etch the mental discussion guides.
• All of us are required to review and inspect the products of our interactions.

It is important to Practice our skills as we test ideas and assumptions.  Equally important is the Inspection of the interaction and the relationship.

Is this the shape you had in mind?
(Photo: Crystal Celtic Harp, Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

We must be open to creating habits (practices) that allow improvement (inspection).  And, like the glass blowers and artisans, we must be willing to discard whatever spoils our finished product and accept responsibility for our part in the conversation.

As we meet with family and friends this week, let's consider a few questions:

• Do we have preset patterns of how to engage?
• Can we visualize other outcomes?
• Are we willing to inspect and improve our interpersonal skills?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Human Complexity

My Iowa grandparents would spend their two-week vacation each year in California with us.  My family would pack into the station wagon and trek two hours north to the San Francisco International Airport. At that time the terminals were arranged in a horseshoe around a circular multi-story parking garage.  There was one multi-lane road into the airport and the garage and one multi-lane road away from the airport.

As time passed, the needs of San Francisco changed:  the airport terminals now surround the garage; an automated train connects the terminals; BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) provides public transportation to the airport; and the road system and overpasses have become more complex.

I saw an aerial view of SFO recently and was amazed at how it's changed over the years.

Has your life become more complex over time?
(Photo credit:  San Francisco Airport - Facebook post)

Complexity, change and inconsistency are the words surfacing in my mind since last week's post, A Confession (click on link to read).  I introduced myself:  "Hi!  My name is Larry G, and I am a recovering dialogue-aholic!"

The situation I encountered last week had to do with the elections: how divided our country is; how complex our lives have become; and how inconsistent we are with our needs or wants.  I am afraid as we try to figure where to go, we are traveling through life too quickly and missing important signs.

WE (individually and collectively) have created the complexity -- in ourselves, our families, and our communities.

Do we acknowledge what humans have created?
(Photo credit:  Highway Engineering - Facebook post)

Examples?  We say we want to slow down... but we take on more.  We say the economy has left us behind... yet airports are hitting record travel above pre-pandemic levels.  We say food and everything is more expensive (which is true), but we've been setting all-time highs in consumer buying (looking at volume not increased prices).  Cost-of-living and gas is high, yet we voted for bonds and tax increases and still buy gas-guzzling trucks and SUVs.  We point to our elected officials and vote them out of office, yet we don't change our ways.

I know these examples are myopic and incomplete, but the surface level disturbs me:  we aren't willing to have civil conversations about what we need or want.  Rather, we label The Other as the problem and create dividing lines that separate us.

Are we part of the problem?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Highway Engineering - Facebook post)

This disconnect became evident when a red-capped woman identified me as a "F------ Liberal" and accused me two days before the election of creating the problems in our country.  I noticed that I listened to the election results Tuesday evening through this isolated experience... I was hurt... I was angry... I was misjudged... I was blamed.

How bad is OUR situation and how isolated have WE become? If one-half of OUR population is upset (no matter which side WE are on), there is a problem!  This is not a WE-THEY issue... WE are talking about US!

Complexity, change, and inconsistency... maybe WE need to talk about it in a civil manner... as Americans... all on the same side... not blaming... but listening... and wondering how to move forward.

 Oops!  I forgot!  "Hi!  My name is Larry G, and I am a recovering dialogue-aholic!"
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Indepedence: From Self or Others?

Before I forget:  Happy Independence Day!  I don't know about you, but sometimes it seems strange to say that.  It's not that I am not patriotic -- I am! -- but in the state of our political and civil discourse, I wonder what we are celebrating?

Yes, we have the U.S. origins story of fighting for and proclaiming our independence from England, and we have centuries of people who have protected democracy and our freedoms.

But, I wonder, what else has this day become for people... besides a summer holiday that allows us to gather, share food and games, and watch fireworks displays?

Do you want to win over others?
(Photo:  Sack Race, Independence Day,
Old Town San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

We are living in a very divided country right now where there is a constant tug of war between ideologies and dualistic thinking.  The fireworks go off between us as one side struggles to be right and assume the other side is wrong, where one side must win at the expense of the other.  Is this exercising our freedom?

Healthy discourse -- which centered on progress and civic support for everyone -- has been supplanted by conquest over and ridicule of The Other.  Maybe these struggles have always been there... but it seems to have surfaced in very ugly ways.

What tugs at you?
(Photo: Tug of War, Independence Day, ,
Old Town San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

Depend means to trust, rely on or support another person; In + Depend is not depending on a person; and the definition of Independence describes freedom from control, influence, support or aid of others.

Is that what is happening when misunderstandings and anger are aimed at one another?  When our freedom solely supports our individuality?

What displays of freedom do you show?
(Photo: Big Bay Boom Fireworks,
San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

I would invite us to consider different ways to demonstrate our freedom and independence:  we must develop skills that balance what is important to us by asking and listening to what is important to others.  This form of dialogue allows us to navigate the ideas that crowd the intersections of our lives.  Without honoring and respecting both individuality and community, we overflow and obstruct what any of us desire.

We must work together!

What happens after the celebrations?
(Photo: Crowds leaving Fireworks,
San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

Blessings to you this Independence Day!  May we seek what unifies us so that we can celebrate how we are dependent, independent, and interdependent.  We have a responsibility to one another!
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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