Gone Too Far?

Isn't life interesting?  We learn.  We strive for our goals.  We achieve... or keep trying.  But there are times when we come to a dead end, a challenge too great, or the edge of a precipice.  At each interval of learning, goal setting, and arrival, we have choices:

• What do we want to accomplish?
  
• Will our values inform our decisions?
  
• How shall we proceed... individually and collectively?

I don't know about you, but recent events have brought me to my edge!

Questions to consider as we look down and outward: What are we noticing? What are we learning about ourselves?  Have we gone too far?  Do we want to take this next step?

What do you do when there is no place to go?
(Photo credit:  Higher Education on the Precipice, AACSB)

Media outlets have reported that some are comparing our current situation to the American Revolution or Civil War: fighting against tyranny or an ideology that is abhorred.  The violence at the US Capitol on January 6: is it the beginning of more division, violence, and hate -- OR -- is there a choice not yet seen?

 

As a country, have we forgotten the death and destruction resulting from earlier choices?  Are we ready to experience these forces again in our society?

Are you prepared for the death of dialogue?
(Photo credit: Then and Now Pictures of the Battlefield, Gettsyberg, NPS.gov)

I remembered this quote from Wendell Berry (Standing by Words, 1983) a few days ago:

"It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings."

 

I wonder:  what is impeding the stream of our dialogue?  Can we focus on that obstruction and allow it to "sing" to us?  Maybe the choice is in listening... together... to that impediment.

When is it time to come together?
(Natural Bridge, Yoho National Park, British Columbia, Canada)

Though we must stand by the words, values and commitments that are dear to us, can we take a long loving look at the other person?  Can we sit in our surety... and uncertainty... as we seek ways to bridge our differences?  (This doesn't mean the differences will disappear.  The emphasis is on the bridge!)

If our answer to these questions is "No," I wonder again about the precipice before us.  I am afraid of the next step!

 

May we notice the impeded streams in our lives this week... and the song they are singing to us.  May we notice the impediments... and choose wisely our next steps.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

 

Death in the Family

I remember the emotions after the deaths of my parents, grandparents, and close friends.  I recall what it was like after the assassinations of John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert Kennedy; the Challenger explosion; the deaths of Princess Diana and Mother Teresa; 9-11; the marches for justice after too many unnecessary killings; and the thousands of empty seats at our tables due to COVID-19.  So many milestones of loss... and transition.

The individual markers in our lives that cause us to pause and take notice:  life is no longer the same.  Shock. Pain.  Sadness.  Emptiness.

I am feeling the same after the events of this past week.

What events cause you to pause?
(Photo credit: Honoring U.S. Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick;
Brendan Smialowski, via Getty Images)

I don't know about you, but sometimes I am on autopilot:  living life without thinking, following habits, patterns, and traditions that have grown up around me.  (It's Saturday: time to grocery shop, do laundry, and run errands!)

I wonder how often we don't listen to what another person is saying... about their experiences, their wants and needs, pain suffered, feeling alone or left out.

When have we muted others?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pickles, by Brian Crane, April 23, 2020)

A few questions as we reflect on Wednesday's march on the U.S. Capitol:

• What stories are we telling ourselves or repeating to others?
•  Who are we blaming?
•  Do we have a role to play... in the events? ...the beliefs we hold? ... in the healing?
  

Maybe just as important:  are we willing to learn and move forward together?

Can we see light even in our darkness?

Nature has so much to teach us!  The overarching themes of life and death.  The annual rhythm of the seasons.  The daily reminders of darkness and light.

 

The invitation as we notice the death, loss, and darkness of this past week is to turn off the autopilot that mutes our awareness of others, and ask questions:

• How am I feeling?  How are you feeling?
• What am I thinking?  What are you thinking?
• Is there a way I can help?  Will you help me to understand?
  

Maybe, at this moment in our history together,  we are being called to move out of our emotional distancing (due to COVID, our political beliefs, or our conclusions about others) and to reach out and to listen with intention.

 
May this death in our family draw us together!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)