Where Do Memories Belong?

Mom would mutter "That man!" under her breath whenever she pushed her walker past a closed bedroom door in our family home of over 40 years.  The man in question was Dad; the closed door was to the bedroom my older brother and I shared years before.  Steve and I grew up in a light blue bedroom -- very soothing for two young boys!

Years later Dad was sprucing up the house and decided to repaint the room.  The light peach color he selected turned out to be bright orange!  Dad, being color blind, didn't realize how jarring the color was!

Mom's solution:  keep the door closed!

How do you color your memories?
(Photo: Childhood Bedroom Emptied - Larry Gardepie)

Memories of our family home spilled out on the front yard after Mom passed away and later when Dad was gone.  Siblings and friends helped to arrange and staff the yard sales.  Memories Emerged as items were sold or given away and carried down the street... never to be seen again.  The last item to go:  our dining room table where so many meals, celebrations, conversations, and games occurred.

The hardest moment, though, was leaving the empty house for the last time and handing over my house key to my older brother -- the key that provided access since I was 10 years old.

Are your memories ever sold or given away?
(Photo:  Childhood Home Yard Sale - Larry Gardepie)

I recently heard the saying:  "Memories... they don’t belong to the house; they belong to us."  How true!  Years later I relish family memories -- no longer rooted in a place... but in my heart.

Is it the same with you?  Objects may remind us, but memories can be treasured and shared.  They also may prompt pain and suffering.  We may close the door to some memories; others may be carried away and never seen again.

Let us be kind to ourselves and with others as Memories Arise... after all, Memories Belong to us.

Where do your memories belong?
(Photo:  Childhood Home No More - Larry Gardepie)

The rest of the story?  A year after the house was sold, I was visiting Millie, our former neighbor from across the street.  She introduced me to the young couple who bought our home.  Their 3-year-old son picked my childhood bedroom:  he always wanted to live in a pumpkin!  "That man" created new memories for a young boy!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

The Grandeur of Life

Studying geography in elementary and high schools, I could only dream of the many countries around the world.  To test our knowledge, we were given maps of continents and countries -- blank, except for the country boundaries -- and asked to name the countries and their capitals.  I wondered what those places were like:  the landscape, the people, their history, and cultures.

To add to this dreaming and wondering, I had a great grandmother who would travel with one of her friends.  She would mail postcards to my family from various locations.  I enjoyed reading and rereading her notes about her journey and looking at the beautiful pictures of faraway places.

What is on your bucket list?
(Photo: Antarctic Peninsula - Larry Gardepie, 2023)

I guess this is where my travel "bucket list" began: the dreaming, wondering, and curiosity of a young child, being influenced by teachers and family members.  Reading about and watching documentaries added to the knowledge, but the desire to travel is about something more:  it's about connection and belonging.

When I first glimpsed the approaching mountains of the Antarctic Peninsula last month, I was overwhelmed with the grandeur and beauty Only Imagined.  It's one thing to dream, study, and plan:  it's a different experience when you are fully present.

Where do you experience grandeur and awe?
(Photo: Antarctic Peninsula - Larry Gardepie, 2023)

Standing on deck of the ship, I connected my studies to my journey -- the desire to belong to Something Beyond.  And I realized that is what my dialogue journey has been about these past 10 years:  it is more than...

• Studying and practicing dialogue skills.
• Listening and trying to understand another perspective.
• Noticing and becoming aware of what is happening.

It is about being Fully Present to the Grandeur and Awe of the people we encounter along this journey of life.

Who are your companions on Life's Journey?
(Photo:  Antarctic Peninsula - Larry Gardepie, 2023)

Yes, we can fill in the lines and boundaries that separate us... but can we identify what is important within those boundaries?  We can name the labels that we have given each other... but can we identify the human needs and desires that we share?  We can fulfill our individual bucket lists... but can we assist others in achieving their dreams?

 

I am learning that Dialogue is about becoming companions on this journey of connection and belonging:  we are called to seek out and be present to the Grandeur and Beauty in each person.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)