The Blessings of Anniversaries: Part 2

As I continue to reflect on a seemingly Lost Year, I have wondered and explored lessons I have learned about myself and others.  I appreciate hearing the insights you have shared with me... where you have learned to:

• Grow in faith and trust
  
• Live one day at a time 
• Anticipate a less frenetic lifestyle
• Focus on the quality of engagement in the present moment
• Become less silent when it comes to injustice and bullying
• Invest time in listening
• Work hard on taking care of my health
• Draw closer to my loved ones
• Work in my garden
• Help others grieve with all we have lost
• Welcome being humbled, more compassionate and caring
• Appreciate milestones that mark the Passage of Time
  ("Is it already time to take out the garbage?!")
  

 It seems that even in darkness, we hope for light and beauty!  We seek to learn and become.

What has brightened the dark days of this pandemic?

If we have learned so much about ourselves, others, and the relationships that are important, is this really a "Lost Year" then,?  Maybe not!

Over the last few weeks I have reviewed the photos I have taken this past year.  Though these photos do not number in the thousands as in past years when I was able to travel, the 2020 photos focused on the local beauty of my city and county, loved ones and friends, and the simple aspects of my life.  Life is special!

What beauty have you noticed this past year?

  

I also notice that I am comparing previous years and experiences... What Used To Be.  It is as if the comparison will validate what I know or have experienced:  I want to connect the dots and bring value to my current situation.

I recall a rafting trip down an Alaskan river several years ago.  We learned the importance of working with the river, using the oars to guide our direction, and working with the energy of the river.   Being in the raft gave us height above the river, allowing us to look ahead and anticipate our next move.

When have you controlled the direction of your life?

But this COVID year has thrown us into the River of Life, where we are no longer in control.  Maybe the lesson is to flow with the changes that are happening.

This thought reminded me of a younger self that liked to body surf the river: a life preserver kept me buoyed above the water.  Our guide taught us to face forward, trust in the life preserver, and position our feet forward in a half-extended position.  When approaching an obstacle, the feet would take the impact, retract, and then help us to bounce back in the direction we needed to flow.  I found this flowing so much more fun than controlling the river raft... but, being in the river, meant I could no longer see farther ahead.  It seems that we have a few choices to make in the weeks and months ahead:  control versus flow; anticipating versus accepting.

As we consider this next week, maybe we could:

• Loosen our need for control;
• Practice flowing with the present moment; and,
• Position ourselves to trust the lessons, values, and experiences that preserve who we are - compassionate and caring people who desire the best for everyone.
  

Please continue to share your thoughts and reflections on this one year anniversary:

• When have you controlled?  When have you flowed? 
• When have you trusted?  What obstacles have you bounced off and survived?

 
May this next year deepen the lessons we are learning.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

The Blessings of Anniversaries: Part 1

Have you noticed that in normal news cycles a major story stays on the front page or receives headline attention for only a few days... and disappears over a matter of 2 or 3 days.  The emergency and its impact may remain, but the newsworthiness has lost its power to attract and retain attention.  It slips from our consciousness.  We move on.

Maybe its the losses we've experienced this past year or the scope of this crisis... this COVID Story just won't fade away!  Many people want to move on; some states are loosening their restrictions: people want to return to normal... but the story remains!

And now, along with the daily telling and retelling of this Viral Unfolding within our lives, we have arrived at several anniversaries:

• The first known case
• The first case in the United States
• The first deaths
  
• The first Stay-at-Home / Safe-at-Home / Lock-down directives
  
• The first surge
  

How do you celebrate anniversaries?

In my family, anniversaries have centered on reflection and celebration.  I have noticed these are the filters through which I am trying to understand these COVID anniversaries: reflection and celebration.  But something is unsettling to me about celebrating these milestones.

Rather than finding fault or blame for where we find ourselves, these filters are asking different questions of me:

• How have I changed over this past year?
• Do I focus more on the negative impacts on my life or the positive responses of adapting?
• Where am I thankful?
  

As I reflect and try to celebrate, I am aware that my impatience and intolerance obscures what I see and feel.  I want to move on to the next story!

What obscures your view?

  

Mike, a dialogue colleague and friend, mentioned that this past year has been like a retreat: being able to slow down, walk on the beach, meditate, and reflect on the good in his life.  He also said that he is noticing some resistance to "returning to normal."

What fills you with gratitude?

His comments -- along with my anniversary filters of reflection and celebration -- have me wondering:

Would you be willing to explore with me...

• Ways that I (we) have changed?
• What I (we) are grateful for?
• Our vision of the world after the pandemic?
  

I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts and experiences.

May we reflect on and share what is important.  May we seek headlines that inspire and draw us together.  May we celebrate Lives Lived... Lives Lost, and Lives Who Remain.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

What Do You See?

Darcy (a Dialogue colleague) and I were sharing recent experiences of using Zoom with large groups.  As the Zoom "organizer," there is an assumption that we know what we are doing!  But, like many of us in this COVID world, we are developing new skills and gaining insights in how we see ourselves and others.

We noticed that as we worked with new Zoom attendees, we needed to explain how to get to the "Brady Bunch" screen (changing from Speaker View to Gallery View), when to Mute or Unmute, and why lighting might affect how clearly a person is seen.

Tell me:  what do you see?
(Photo credit:  7 Zoom Tips for Working
from Home, Computerworld)

Darcy and I laughed at our own assumptions:  that what we were seeing must be true!  We soon realized that the device a person is using changes how that user experiences Zoom.

We laughed because we had forgotten one of the Dialogue skills: ask questions to test assumptions.  Examples:

• What device are you using (PC or Mac; computer, tablet or phone)?
• Tell me what you see.

And, just as important:  be patient... Hold Lightly what you see, hear, and assume.

What do you think?
(Photo credit:  Santa Monica Beach, Getty Images, WSJ)

 

This COVID world is stretching us in many ways:

• How can social beings remain socially connected while being physically distant?
• Do we tend to protect our Individuality or the Common Good?
• Can we withhold judgment while exploring new Ways of Being?

Balancing a fragile world at this point in our human story may require that we move away from polarized Ways of Thinking.

Can we explore what is true?

Similar to lessons we are learning with Zoom, seeing others clearly depends on practicing new skills:

• When to move from Speaker (individual) to Gallery (everyone) view;
• Why it is important to Mute (ourselves) and Unmute (others); and,
  
• Where to shine the light on different aspects of a more encompassing Truth.
  

 

Have I asked you today... "What do you see?"

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)