A Season of Hope

Only a few days remaining before Christmas...  now the worries set in:

• Have I forgotten anyone in the gift-giving and cards?
  
• Are all of the preparations enough?
• How will I pay the bills in January?

With all of the beauty of the past several weeks in the music and decorations, we sometimes don't relax and enjoy this season.  I wonder why?

How do you enter this holy season?
(Photo:  Christmas Colors - Larry Gardepie)

Several years ago I began to disengage from the hustle and bustle of these holidays:  partly because my parents both passed away in December; partly because I was tired of the pressure to live up to memories.  I began traveling: to be close to friends; to see something new; and to reunderstand the Reason for the Season.

 

I wanted to believe again in the miracle of these holy days.

What do you believe in?
(Photo: Believe Christmas display, Macy's Union Square,
San Francisco - Larry Gardepie)

To believe again... not necessarily in the Santa, elves, and reindeer stories but the wonder and hope of Waiting.  This season is intertwined with the belief that God chose to live among us, the prayers of each expectant parent for a safe and healthy birth, and the dark winter months giving way to light.

 

I wonder... if we believe in God-Among-Us, how do we explain the pain and suffering in the world?  That is, do we treat others knowing that they -- and we -- have Sacred Worth and Value?

Is there reason to hope?
(Photo: World Tree of Hope,
San Francisco City Hall 2016 - Larry Gardepie)

On one of my travels, I came across the World Tree of Hope (click link to learn more).  That year it was in San Francisco's City Hall.  This year it is at Grace Cathedral.  This tree is a symbol of hope, uniting the world in prayer and wishes for a better way of life for all.

As your family and friends share gifts and time together in the next few days, I wonder if it is appropriate to begin a dialogue about:

• Your concerns or worries;
• Your hopes and wishes; and,
  
• How you will help change this hurting world.
  

Maybe this season is about how we give birth to hope.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Welcome What Has Never Been

Our world has been struggling with COVID-19 for two long years.  I understand the desire to move on.  After all, it's a New Year and it's been difficult to stay focused and vigilant this past year.

The Dark Night of this pandemic seems to go against the  human spirit -- the part of ourselves that hopes for an end to suffering, death, and uncertainty.  We want to get on with Life.  We want the best for ourselves and our loved ones.  We say we want to get back to Normal (dictionary definition = conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; familiar).

Where do you seek Light and Goodness?
(Photo:  Full moon at sea, shrouded in clouds)

But, as each New Year approaches, isn't there a period of planning and anticipation... a time of remembrance and reflection... seeking to resolve changes in our habits?  Aren't we focused and vigilant as we await an untarnished year ahead?

I never fully appreciated the song, Auld Lang Syne, until I read through the lyrics... and looked up what "auld lang syne" means.

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne?"

The poem's Scottish title, Auld Land Syne, may be translated into standard English as "old long since" -- or less literally as: "long, long ago"; "days gone by"; or "old times".  Before the ball dropped in Times Square or balloons fell at our parties, I wondered what continues to draw us back to that "Old Normal" of pre-pandemic times... our old habits... old times?

What are you celebrating from last year?
(Photo: ready for the balloons to drop)

Maybe, as we step into this New Year, we can look to our furthest horizons and imagine a different Way of Being, an original or new Normal :

• What values do we have in common?
• Why do we seek familiar routines and shy away from the unknown?
  
• When do we expect people to conform to our ideas and beliefs?
  

Normal is about common standards or practices where we conform and perform regular routines.  In many ways, we don't have to think - familiarity allows us to be on autopilot.

Is that really what we want?  Is that the Normal that draws us?

What new horizons draw you?
(Photo: sunset over Lanai, Hawaii)

Or, are we actually looking for comfort in knowing that I can trust in you or what I see, that the familiar brings comfort and peace?

 

A Christmas card that I kept last year stated simply:  "And now let us welcome the new year, full of things that have not been."  If we reshape our outlook, maybe our approach this year is to nurture our relationships, ask questions where we don't already know the answers, and develop a curiosity of what has never been.

How might you welcome what has never been?
(Photo credit:  Rainer Maria Rilke)

As 2022 emerges, let us break away from our auld lang syne and co-create a year that contains the hope, the light, and the comfort that we seek.  Let us not return to the old Normal of the past.  Let our vision draw us together and focus our attention on a sense of common good.  Let us explore what has never been!
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

The Blessings of Anniversaries: Part 2

As I continue to reflect on a seemingly Lost Year, I have wondered and explored lessons I have learned about myself and others.  I appreciate hearing the insights you have shared with me... where you have learned to:

• Grow in faith and trust
  
• Live one day at a time 
• Anticipate a less frenetic lifestyle
• Focus on the quality of engagement in the present moment
• Become less silent when it comes to injustice and bullying
• Invest time in listening
• Work hard on taking care of my health
• Draw closer to my loved ones
• Work in my garden
• Help others grieve with all we have lost
• Welcome being humbled, more compassionate and caring
• Appreciate milestones that mark the Passage of Time
  ("Is it already time to take out the garbage?!")
  

 It seems that even in darkness, we hope for light and beauty!  We seek to learn and become.

What has brightened the dark days of this pandemic?

If we have learned so much about ourselves, others, and the relationships that are important, is this really a "Lost Year" then,?  Maybe not!

Over the last few weeks I have reviewed the photos I have taken this past year.  Though these photos do not number in the thousands as in past years when I was able to travel, the 2020 photos focused on the local beauty of my city and county, loved ones and friends, and the simple aspects of my life.  Life is special!

What beauty have you noticed this past year?

  

I also notice that I am comparing previous years and experiences... What Used To Be.  It is as if the comparison will validate what I know or have experienced:  I want to connect the dots and bring value to my current situation.

I recall a rafting trip down an Alaskan river several years ago.  We learned the importance of working with the river, using the oars to guide our direction, and working with the energy of the river.   Being in the raft gave us height above the river, allowing us to look ahead and anticipate our next move.

When have you controlled the direction of your life?

But this COVID year has thrown us into the River of Life, where we are no longer in control.  Maybe the lesson is to flow with the changes that are happening.

This thought reminded me of a younger self that liked to body surf the river: a life preserver kept me buoyed above the water.  Our guide taught us to face forward, trust in the life preserver, and position our feet forward in a half-extended position.  When approaching an obstacle, the feet would take the impact, retract, and then help us to bounce back in the direction we needed to flow.  I found this flowing so much more fun than controlling the river raft... but, being in the river, meant I could no longer see farther ahead.  It seems that we have a few choices to make in the weeks and months ahead:  control versus flow; anticipating versus accepting.

As we consider this next week, maybe we could:

• Loosen our need for control;
• Practice flowing with the present moment; and,
• Position ourselves to trust the lessons, values, and experiences that preserve who we are - compassionate and caring people who desire the best for everyone.
  

Please continue to share your thoughts and reflections on this one year anniversary:

• When have you controlled?  When have you flowed? 
• When have you trusted?  What obstacles have you bounced off and survived?

 
May this next year deepen the lessons we are learning.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Listening for Understanding

Another milestone: 500,000.  Not just a number, but people -- family members, friends, neighbors, work colleagues -- no longer blessing us with their presence, stories, jokes, and support.  Watching CNN's memorial service, "We Remember 500,000," I was thinking of the Dialogues Lost: we are no longer able to ask questions or listen to another person's experience of life.  Gone... but the memories.

Whether in May 2020 (100,00) or September (200,000), November (300,000), January 2021 (400,00) or February (500,000), the fabric of our society is being torn asunder.  Pieces of who we are as a nation are being removed from our midst... silently and in isolation.

How do we remember and grieve?
(Photo credit: President Biden Delivers Emotional
Remembrance of 500,000 COVID Victims, Getty Images, NPR)

Through prayers, individual stories, and music, we were allowed to remember -- and grieve.  Rather than encouraging action and moving on, we were being asked to slow down, listen, and try to understand the significance of what this past year has wrought on us... as individuals, local communities, a nation, and the world.

One person said that our minds go numb with what is happening: the numbers are too huge to grasp; the grief is too deep.  But remember, we must.

In what ways do we memorialize
lost relationships?
(Liberty Station, San Diego

I wonder if Relationships Lost creates a similar numbness?  Do we retreat into the recesses of our memories, expectations and assumptions, unable to cope under the loss?  How do we memorialize the Time Lost when we move too quickly into action -- and forget to reflect, to seek awareness, and notice other pathways to explore?

What corridors of our memories
are we willing to explore?
(Liberty Station, San Diego)

COVID has reminded me of the Sacredness of Life -- all life: the unborn and the living; those whom I agree with or disagree; people in my inner circle or those beyond that boundary.

In the midst of a number -- 500,000 -- it seems that we continue to look for blame: what should have been done earlier; who is masking or not; who are being vaccinated or not; what political party has the answers or not...

I wonder, wouldn't it be easier if we:

• Slowed down;
• Reflected on the losses; and
  
•  Listened for understanding? 

As we move through our numbness and grief, may we seek peace in these losses... and hope in what we have gained.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)