A Maze of Dead Ends

Do you enjoy puzzles and word games?  I do!  The process of thinking through a number of possible solutions and narrowing down to one answer is stimulating.  So many possibilities... but why can ONLY ONE be Right?!

There are so many ways to to be challenged these days:  online games and jigsaw puzzle apps; books of word searches, crosswords, Sudoku, and acrostic brainteasers; TV shows that pit contestants against one another... and the list goes on, especially when we look at our day-to-day lives!

Do you see a world of possibilities?
(Photo credit:  Chirag Upreti - NASA)

Once, when traveling in southeast England, a friend and I attempted to walk through a life-size hedge maze.  The problem?  We almost missed our train because we couldn't find the maze's exit!  Dead ends prevented us from finding the Right Way out!  Yelling over the hedge walls didn't help... fellow mazers were just as lost as we were!

Reflecting on other dead ends in my life, I haven't been as frantic.  Similar to working out a solution in a puzzle or word game, I notice the obstacle or dead end, step back, retrace my steps, and consider another way out of the situation.  (It helps not to be rushed for time!)

How do dead ends help you?
(Photo credit:  Couple Creates 7-foot-high Maze in Their
Backyard with Only One Way Out - New York Post)

It sometimes helps to be able to "phone a friend," "ask the audience" or have some of the options removed.  In fact, like mazes and puzzles, dead ends and multiple answers sometimes slow us down and invite us to consider another way to move forward.

Is this what we do with our assumptions and conclusions about other people?  When they exhibit behavior we weren't expecting or when our conclusions don't match the outcome, do we step back and reconsider what we were thinking?

What life signs keep you safe?
(Photo credit:  California DMV Road Side Test Video)

The gift of puzzles and games is when we are a-mazed at the end result:

• What we learned about ourselves;
• How the dead ends helped us; and,
  
• Were we willing to ask for help?

I hope that you enjoy the challenges of this next week... treating each dead end as a way to step back, seek help, and learn.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Dead Ends?

Christmas music and decorations before Thanksgiving?!  It's sometimes a jolt to our daily lives when we realize how close the end of the year is -- especially as the weeks of holidays spanning from October through December rush past us with their sense of urgency in meal preparations, gifts to purchase and wrap, and putting up the decorations that make these fall and winter days so festive.

November and December hold many memories for me:  traveling home; family gatherings; reconnecting... and the last days with each of my parents.

Who can you no longer talk to?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis, 12/03/23)

We travel this life expecting or wanting there to be no end, living each day with the assumption that the next day will follow... and our loved ones will be at the other end of the phone line or text message.  We wait for a reply... until there isn't one.

Even years after my parents' deaths I still reach for the phone to tell them of what's happening in my life or look in my Inbox for Mom's latest email with a cartoon or joke.  (Throughout college, she would mail me news clippings and comics that meant something to her, helping me to stay connected with what was happening at home.)

Like Rat in Pearls Before Swine, we now get along... and we want to tell them what we have learned.

What is at the end of your road?
(Photo credit:  The End (of the Road), Olli Kekäläinen)

I don't mean to be maudlin or bring the festive spirit down.  Rather, I am reminding myself how important each day is and the conversations that we have... NOW.

Along with sharing the details of what has happened throughout the day, isn't it just as important to tell:

• Our family members: how much they mean to us?
• Our work colleagues: how much we appreciate them?
• Our neighbors and community leaders: how they impact our lives?

Can we see beauty even in dark times?
(Photo:   Mazatlán Sunset - Larry Gardepie)

As we move towards these December holidays, let us balance our preparations by:

• Putting behind any jabs and negativity.
• Acknowledging that many of our hopes and desires are similar.
• Realizing that others may be just as tired, scared and confused as we are!
  

Also, may we reconnect by enjoying this limited time we have together!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)