Showing posts with label Judgmental. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Judgmental. Show all posts

Saturday, July 27, 2024

Innocent Until Proven...

Sitting in the courtroom for jury duty last week, the judge was explaining to us the constitutional concept of Presumed Innocence (being innocent until proven guilty).  The prosecuting attorney must present the facts that showed a criminal act had been committed... beyond a reasonable doubt.

A few jurors asked for a definition of reasonable doubt.  The judge and the attorneys would not give a definition or a percentage of certainty.  Rather, we were told, the jury needed to struggle with the facts of the case and come to its collective understanding of doubt and guilt within the framework of the presented evidence.

My childlike and lived experience of innocence was burst!  In the judicial sense, innocence was a starting point and guilt had to be proven.

When has a childlike understanding been burst?
(Photo:  Bubble Man and Children - Larry Gardepie)

Looking at my daily life I realize that I don't always presume innocence!  Maybe in a new relationship I might give the benefit of doubt to the other person.  As months and years go by and we get to know one another, there is a shared history and understanding that sometimes gets in the way... I jump to conclusions or make assumptions!

In reality, though, I oftentimes react and judge people's words and actions without stopping and trying to understand.  Sometimes, I think the worse.

That's quite different than the constitutional litmus test of being innocent until proven otherwise!

When do you experience the light of understanding?
(Photo:  Young Couple and Sunset - Larry Gardepie)

And, with some political and religious views, I find my mind closed and not willing to listen to another perspective.  I can be nice and socialize, but an icy barrier is present that precludes me from seeing or understanding.  Do you feel or do the same?

I wonder what it would take for us to become curious.

  • What questions do we have about another position?
  • How did that person arrive at their conclusion?
  • Are we afraid that we may need to rethink our conclusions?

Can an icy barrier between you and another person collapse?
(Photo:  Hubbard Glacier Calving - Larry Gardepie)

Last month I was on a small boat within half a mile of Hubbard Glacier.  Several times large chunks of ice broke away and fell into Disenchantment Bay.  The crack and crash were spectacular!  What was equally amazing were the shock waves that came toward the boat!  We rocked for several minutes as each surf-like wave came in contact with us.  We weren't in any danger, but the captain prepared us for the incoming turbulence.

 As we move closer to this year's elections, I wonder if there are ways that we can prepare for the shock and waves of change that might be coming towards us... no matter which political party wins:

  • Are we willing to listen?
  • Can we practice curiosity?
  • How can we calmly explain the values and views that are important?

Maybe, more importantly, can we withhold judgment and presume innocence?

Your thoughts?
 

Larry Gardepie

(click on link for website)



Saturday, December 2, 2023

Here Comes the Judge!

When the days get rough and uncertain, I tend to watch comedy shows or lose myself in the Comics section of the newspaper.  Sometimes the ability to distract ourselves is the way to survive the harshness of any situation.

Oftentimes, though, comedy and comics shed light on the Real World we are trying to escape:  humor lightens dark moments; we learn to laugh at ourselves; and a different slant on The Real allows us to see differently.

What do you choose to believe?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis, 11/04/23)


I was thinking about this a few weeks ago after I read Pearls Before Swine: Rat revealed how he uses select Bible verses to judge others and avoid feeling bad.  Rat's question to Goat -- 
"Is there another way to read the Bible?" -- might be asked of us in a more general way:  "Is there another way to read this situation?"

As my mind wandered, I thought back on Sammy Davis' comedic routine on the Rowan and Martin show of the late 1960s:  "Here comes the judge!" (Click on the link to see Sammy.)  It was a light-hearted way to look at judges, judging, and decisions.

How often do you play the "Blame Game"?
(Photo credit:  The Blame Game, Free by the Sea)


I wonder if the harshness I experience in this world can be attributed to how others -- and I -- judge others?  Maybe our Blame Game creates an atmosphere where we are always watching -- and waiting -- for Scapegoats, The Fall Guy, or He (She) Did It.

We have so many ways to describe The Other and The-Problems-They-Created!

What skills have you developed to listen -- and not judge?
(Photo credit:  What is Active Listening and
How Can You Improve This Skill?
, Coursera)


As I listen to the comedian or return to the Comics, I find that I relax and tune in with a different mindset and heart.  I slowly smile, chuckle or laugh o
nce I identify with the situation and the punch line.

Though we all have a Judge-Inside who wants to come out, maybe our challenge this week is to relax and listen with a blame-free attitude:

  • Ready to hear differently;
  • Waiting for the punch line... a twist on The Real; and,
  • Willing to laugh at ourselves and our "Here-Comes-The-Judge" moments.

 What skills have you developed to listen and not judge?

Larry Gardepie

(click on link for website)