From Above

Perspective is important.  That is, how we look at a person or an object depends on where we are standing, what we notice from that position, and the conclusions we make.  It is the relationship between where I am in that moment... and The Other.

These thoughts were going through my mind on a recent flight home.  The cloud formations changed very dramatically over time and the distance I was flying.  At one point, the clouds were thick and foreboding; later on they were cotton-candy puffy; then they became stratified and separated where I could see water and land below.

What do you see right now?
(Photo: Cloud Formations - Larry Gardepie)

Time, distance, and other conditions changed what I was seeing and experiencing.  If I were asked to describe what was visible, it would depend... perspectives can change!

Last month I posted a blog, Untapped Re's (click on link to read the earlier reflection).  It contained a photo I took at Pacific Grove:  I was reminiscing about my childhood and a recent visit to Salinas and Monterey Bay.  Then, I came across the following aerial view of the Pacific Grove coastline:  I had never seen the Purple Carpet from above... a Perspective Unknown before this chance encounter!

What perspectives are unknown to you?
(Photo credit: Purple Carpet,
Pacific Grove, CA - Facebook)

In a similar experience, I was on a 7-hour sailing excursion along Kauai's western coast.  The ship's captain stayed close to shore to minimize the rocking and rolling of our vessel.  She described the Na Pali Coast, its history and culture, its sacredness to the Hawaiian people.  We were taken back in time, introduced to a different way of living.

During the return trip, the captain navigated us farther away from the coast.  The heights of the cliffs, the colors and shadows, and the expansiveness of what we were seeing took on new and more spectacular dimensions -- further away from our earlier and limited land-views!

Do you pull back to see a larger view?
(Photo: Na Pali Coast, Kauai - Larry Gardepie)

Aerial views and unsimilar perspectives invite us to consider:

• Are we forgiving in our thoughts when a new perspective is revealed?
• Do we hold tightly to our conclusions and miss opportunities to see differently?
• Can we rise above or step back to see from another vantage point?

May this week provide situations where we can question long-held beliefs and hold-lightly to the possibility that Truth is revealing itself anew. 

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

How We See -- What We Remember

I have almost 65,000 photos saved on my "smart phone"!  They showcase family, friends, travels, and adventures over my lifetime.  How often do I look at them?  Periodically, I go back to a certain time or event to Re-Member the people who are no longer present -- reconnecting and being grateful for how their lives shaped mine.  At times I want to Re-Enjoy an area of the world I spent vacation time -- recalling the beauty of distant lands, peoples, and cultures.

These photos are a glimpse of how I have seen and experienced my life and those who have shared theirs with me.  I am sure you have similar ways to Re-Live your life!

What do you see?
(Photo: Ceramic Tile - Larry Gardepie)

What is interesting about these photos, though, is how my Mind's Eye has changed over time -- that is, the perspective of viewing earlier stages of Life.  Looking at one photo I might wonder what was so important that I wanted to capture and save that image!  A piece of tile with wavy lines turns into an eye if it is framed in a certain way.

Childhood photos with my first film-camera portray childhood perspectives -- and reveal my height at the time!  With film-cameras we had to be judicious on how many photos we could take -- film was expensive and we didn't know if the image would turn out the way we expected.  I remember being more careful in what to capture and imprint.

How do you see the world?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo Credit, Pearls Before Swine, August 25, 2023 - Stephan Pastis)

Now, with digital cameras and "smart phones," we can take as many photos as the memory can hold -- and we can instantly delete images that are blurry or didn't turn out as we had hoped.

Time, perspective, capturing and deleting -- all are caught in these 65,000 images saved in a "Cloud" somewhere!

How do you want to be seen?
(Photo credit: downloaded from Facebook - Anonymous)

What does this have to do with dialogue, you might ask?  Everything!  Our mind's eye captures countless images and thoughts throughout the day -- filtered through time and perspective; captured and remembered in the reality of our relationships and beliefs.  

Problems we face, though, in this fast-paced world: we no longer wait for the image (or thought) to be fully developed; we assume we know the outcome; and we don't always take time to talk through what we saw, heard or experienced.  That is, we don't reflect on and delete those encounters that are blurry -- those distortions that harm our relationships.

Just think... If I have almost 65,000 stored photos of family, friends, travels, and adventures, I wonder:

• How many other memories have been stored?
• Which stories and conclusions need to be revisited?
• Am I willing to delete what is blurry and abnormal?

A question we might consider this week:  how can our stored perspectives be moved from Abnormal to Extraordinary?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

Locked In

While on a Zoom call last week, Darcy -- a Dialogue colleague -- mentioned that a Lock icon randomly appeared on her new monitor over my image.  Though distracting, it did not seem to impact our conversation.  A series of questions began to emerge:

• When am I locked into my way of thinking?
• What is the impact on relationships when I don't consider other perspectives?
• How might I become more aware when I am resistant to your experiences?

 

When am I locked into my way of thinking?
(Photo credit:  Darcy Wharton)

I don't know about you, but it seems that as I grow older, the information I take in sometimes gets cemented in as Reality, Truth, and My Way of thinking and being.  Family or cultural traditions are familiar -- and safe -- so I cling to what I know.  I return to what is easy and normal.  I don't notice when I am Locked In.  Is it that way with you as well?

Our ability to consider new information is sometimes limited if we don't challenge the conclusions we have made about others.

How might I heal misunderstandings?
(Photo: The Fallas Museum
Valencia Spain, Larry Gardepie)

Therefore, in order to unlock our thoughts -- and feelings -- we must be willing to explain our thought process, how we came to the conclusions and opinions we have.  The willingness to share information -- and to listen to new information -- provides opportunities to reconnect with others.  Generations of ideas that have taken root must be reconsidered.

Can I listen across generations of ideas?
(Photo: The Fallas Museum
Valencia Spain, Larry Gardepie)

Visiting The Fallas Museum in Valencia, Spain, introduced me to the Fallas Festival of this region.  Each year monuments are constructed by local organizations working together to design and build a falla that represents them.  The festival culminates on March 19 with the destruction of these neighborhood monuments by setting them ablaze... but, before the bonfires begin, people vote on their favorite figures.   The two with the most votes are rescued and enshrined in The Fallas Museum.

Working together, creating an image that represents us, deciding what to let go of and what remains... isn't this what dialogue is about?  The ability to unlock our traditional thinking and search for ways that bring us together.

May we become more aware of our locked thoughts and feelings.  May we seek to remove these limitations.  May we explore opportunities that open us to new ideas.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Out of Control: A Miracle

I get whacked out when a series of events go out of control all at the same time:  the domino-effect of pieces not falling into place and life becoming more complicated.  Recently, there were several weeks when everything seemed to go wrong: roof and woodwork needing repairs; online password file becoming corrupt; bundled media services on the blink; fan not working... and to top it off, the batteries in the flashlight needed to be replaced!

I don't know why, but I am always surprised when friends and work colleagues can put things back into perspective for me!  Sometimes it's as simple as sharing what is happening.  Other times I need to be nudged by a kind word, a question, or an inspirational quote.  It's the interaction of reaching out and inviting someone in that provides a pause for me to let go and accept another way of looking at a situation.

What do you do when life feels like it is falling apart?
~~ Click on photo credit link to watch video ~~
(Photo credit:  Top 5 Weirdest Dominoes
Falling Game, Viral Maniacs)

Reflecting on my agitated state and mood, I wondered why I ever thought I had control -- or wanted to take control -- of the situation.  Normally, it takes awhile for my patience to be pushed to the breaking point.  But, when I get into a negative mood that spirals downward and my inner self is saying, "This is not you!", I need someone else to help me refocus.

That is what happened:  when my Dialogue Learning Group met, the facilitator shared a quote from Mary Davis about gratitude and miracles.  At first I couldn't feel any gratitude or see any miracles in my list of projects to complete.  As people shared what was happening in their lives, I realized how small my issues actually were.  I was focused only on my problems, the smaller pieces that make up the whole.  I needed to pull back and see the larger picture.

How often do you focus on the small parts
forgetting the whole picture??
(Photo credit:  Brick Bending, Jeff Sanders
Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/brickbending/
Facebook:  https://www.youtube.com/c/BrickBending)

Yes, what we contribute to our families, friends, and work colleagues is important, but it is the balance of recognizing their contributions and importance that is equally important.  Learning to surrender our self-focused control, holding lightly to what is happening, and allowing the dominoes to fall allows us to creatively work together on common solutions.  (And, as the domino video from the first photo shows, we can have fun along the way!)

Having a roof, the ability to protect my online systems, the fact that I have entertainment equipment, a fan, and batteries... with gratitude I now see the "thing" and not the "problem."  But gratitude continues when I realize there are people to help me through these problems: the roofers, carpenters, online technical support, family, friends, and colleagues.

Where do you find gratitude?
(Photo:  Sea of Cortez sunset, Larry Gardepie)

I am grateful in my incompetence as others with competence reach out to help!

At the end of our learning group meeting, Rayleen (the facilitator) asked us to consider a revision to Mary Davis' quote:

Through the Eyes of Gratitude Everyone is a Miracle.

May we begin to see the miracles in our lives through the eyes of gratitude!  Everyone -- and Everything -- has sacred worth and value.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Birthing New Perspectives

Over the past several weeks I have participated in virtual reunions with friends from my 8th grade class and from the youth ministry groups I coordinated.  Many of these friendships go back 40-50 years:  we are an accumulation of shared history, individual stories, and years together and separate.  In addition, November is a month of remembrance and thanksgiving: All Saints, All Souls, Día de los Muertos, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving... and it's my birthday month!

Reflecting on the passage of time and relationships -- past and present -- provides me insights into Lessons Learned.

What impressions are created when
you meet someone for the first time?
(Photo:  Larry Gardepie, 11 hours old)

I have noticed how immediate impressions have skewed how I look at people.  I am wondering:

• Are those impressions accurate?
• Did I allow the friendship to reveal the depth of the other person?
• Was I willing to be changed by new information about that person?

I don't know about you, but sometimes it is difficult to let go of first impressions!   I quickly assume I know the person because of my earliest conclusions.  I am hoping this awareness will slow me down and remind me to check out what I saw, heard, and concluded about others.

How do you see people after
they do something unexpected?
(Photo:  Larry Gardepie, displaying crocheted objects)

 

When my grandmother moved into a nursing home, her world became smaller, her sense of self-worth eroded, and she concluded that she no longer had anything to give.  I knew my grandmother crocheted, so I spent a vacation week with her -- asking her to show me how to crochet.  There were many moments of frustration as my not-so-nimble fingers tried to figure out single, double, and triple crochet stitches!  The time with Grandma was what we both needed:  I eventually overcame my frustration and my crochet skills improved; she passed along part of herself to a grandchild.  Soon after our time together, Grandma began to forget how to crochet.

 

What was unexpected:  people's double-takes when they encountered a young man working on a lace tablecloth or an afghan... like the Czech guard looking down with surprise (or disgust!), turning around abruptly, walking away and not completing his passport-checking duties on the train I was on!

Do you change when working closely
with others on a shared project?
(Photo, Larry Gardepie and project colleagues)

Our world is more connected than ever, yet at times we seem so far apart.  To bridge some of our separation, I wonder:

• Are we willing to sit with someone and learn more about them, allowing our first impressions to be challenged?
• Rather than projecting what we think the other person will say or do, can we invite curiosity to be our guide as we explore what another person experiences?
• Like children, how might we excitedly anticipate the unexpected, awaken each day to a new world, and hope for change?
  

May we reconnect this week through our awareness of first impressions, our curiosity to learn more, and our willingness to change.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

 

Missing Perspectives

Sitting in the atrium of a local hotel this past week, I was watching the various guests and their families.  Some wore masks and continued to practice social distancing, but the vast majority were not.  Life had returned to normal -- whatever that definition meant for each family.  Elevators were full; lines were formed; people jostled to be first or to get what was perceived as theirs.  After going through 15 months of caution, safety in isolation, and being careful, I wondered if we had seen or shared the same reality.

Watching the hotel elevators rise and fall in their designated shafts, I also wondered if our thinking is as siloed as these elevators:  rising and falling with only our own cargo of thoughts and lived experiences.

What do you miss when siloed in your thinking?

I continued to reflect on this line of thought as we ventured out into the San Diego Zoo.  California had just fully reopened one week earlier, yet the zoo was full:  tourists from all over the country had returned to San Diego.  Are we any safer than before while many people remain unvaccinated?  How is it that the virus can mutate and have variants yet we as humans don't allow variations in our own thinking?  What is normal about our every day lives when we can no longer see another perspective?

Standing outside the giraffe enclosure, I wondered: even with their long necks, giraffes can only see as far as their eyesight allows and the direction they face.  What are we seeing?  Which singular direction are we facing?  How can we possibly expect to see another perspective unless we improve our eyesight... change our position... or rely on others?

Is there only one perspective to be seen?

We ended our stay at the zoo with the flamingos, located at the beginning or front of the zoo.  There was noise and commotion, birds vying for attention or sitting peacefully on nests.  Maybe life is like this:  messy... noisy... varied... confusing.  Is that the normal we are returning to?  Or is normal a false security of siloed thinking?

Rather than staying in our single-shafted visions of normalcy that rise and fall with our cargo of thoughts, maybe we are encouraged to explore new Ways of Being.

How do we nurture new life?

Questions to consider this week:

• What did I learn from the months of COVID-separation?
• Are there variations of thoughts that scare me?
• Can I seek a normal that allows shared experiences AND different perspectives to coexist?

May we mourn the missing perspectives we don't see.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)