What I Know Now

Meeting with a friend who will be retiring soon, we were reflecting on our respective careers: what we have learned from our work experiences and how these lessons might inform the next stages of our lives.  This friend reflected a common theme I have heard from others:  "I wish what I know now was available to me earlier in my career."

But I wonder how valuable these lessons would have been to us in our younger years?  What do we really know now, and would this wisdom have made a difference then?

What do you know?
~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~
(Photo credit:  Peanuts, Charles Schulz, June 6, 1967)

Our discussion reminded me of a book I read several years ago, What I Know for Sure by Oprah Winfrey.  In this book, Oprah summarized her life's lessons.  I am sure that each of us could list 5-10 important things that we have learned along the way.

Can you imagine, though, of being in a room full of people and listening to their combined wisdom?  Do you think we would absorb these lessons and apply them successfully?

How do you talk to others?  Yourself?
(Photo credit:  Positive Self Talk, Dhruvi Dharia)

True... other people's wisdom might help us along the way or direct our thinking or decision-making, but our self-discovery and deciding What is True seems to stick with us longer.

Maybe the importance of life are the lessons we have learned by making mistakes, saying the wrong words, and misunderstanding others.  As we navigate the Potholes of Life, we learn what is important to others.. and to ourselves.  The Lessons Learned are the celebrations of Lives Lived... the intersection of your truths and mine!

Have you learned to be a flexible thinker?
(Photo credit:  Are you a Flexible Thinker?, Pearson Forward)

The actions of reminiscing and reflection provides time to consider:

• What we used to think or do;
• How we have changed; and,
  
• Where the journey has taken us.
  

This pause to learn and wonder What Could Have Been creates a choice point to apply lessons to What Could Be.  I believe that reflection and sharing is an important step forward... if we but listen to ourselves and others!

What have you learned in your life?  Are you willing to share?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Celebrating Life's Lessons

By now, I am sure that many of us have participated in a virtual meeting or an online gathering.  Zoom, What's App, MS Teams, FreeConferenceCall and FaceTime became household names when the pandemic began almost two years ago:  people needed ways to physically distance and yet stay connected.  Remote work and online learning suddenly became the norm as we were inserted into  "Brady Bunch" grids on our computer monitors.

I wonder, though:

• Was life any different than before the pandemic?
• Weren't we already skilled at boxing people in and keeping others at a distance?

 

How do you stay connected?
(Photo credit:  Brady Bunch, Wikipedia)

I was reflecting on these questions after participating in a friend's 80th birthday celebration this past week.  His wife had arranged a Zoom session where we could gather to share stories, participate in a trivia contest about Jim's life, and offer well wishes to our friend, loved one, and colleague.

Jim served at my church when I was in school.  Over the years he would guide me as a mentor and spiritual director.  We have stayed in touch through Christmas cards, emails, and virtual reunions.  Isn't it amazing when we have people in our lives who watch out, listen to, and challenge us?

What have you learned from others?
(Photo credit:  What Happens When Young
and Old Connect, Greater Good Magazine)

Celebration of Life, for me, has occurred when I begin to recognize the different boxes I have created... for self-protection; safe-keeping of treasures; or to define and limit myself and others.  A box is still a box whether I store memories or create expectations.

What I have learned from Jim and others is the importance of: (1) recognizing the human tendency to understand life by defining and labeling; and (2) letting go of these restrictions we place on life.

In other words, celebrating life is the act of being in the present and accepting the person who is before us:  the person I am right now and the gift I encounter in you.

When do you celebrate life's lessons?
(Photo credit:  Young Helping the Elderly)

As we walk together, it is the reciprocal actions of giving and receiving, guiding and learning, offering and accepting that allows us to acknowledge the gifts of Self and Other.  Knowing that I don't have to be perfect releases me from one boxed-image of myself.  Understanding that I don't have all the answers opens another box.  Hearing, appreciating, and accepting truths you have learned frees me from a binary framework of Right-Wrong, Yes-No, and Truth-Untruth.

Jim described us as Pilgrim People: journeying together -- sometimes leading, sometimes following, and sometimes carrying one another.  Whether physically distanced and remotely connected or being in the same room, the invitation is to reach out, open the boxes that surround us, and celebrate the gifts we discover.

What do you celebrate today?  What lessons have you learned and are willing to share?

Happy 80th Birthday, Jim!  And Happy 6th Anniversary of this blog!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)