Labels and Tapes: "I am..." and "You are..."

My name is Larry, and I am a Recovering Labeler.

In order to survive this world, I pigeonhole myself and others into neat definitions and file folders... I label myself and you!  I replay tapes that describe how I see myself:  "I am..."

And, to be honest, I have tapes about you as well:  "You are..." and "They are..."

What inner maze do you navigate
when thinking about self and others?
(Mosque-Cathedral, Cordoba, Spain)

I don't want to assume too much here, but I wonder if we all do this: seeing or hearing someone we don't really know and placing a label on them?  I have labels for:

• Politicians whom I agree with, and different labels for those I disagree with.
• Sales professionals who help me, and door-to-door sales people who interrupt my day.
• Family, friends, and work colleagues that support and encourage me, and those I don't understand.

Part of my recovery as a Labeler is noticing the labels I have created or tapes I replay:

Which ones are inaccurate and keep me from seeing clearly?

When do you allow the mists of misunderstanding
to dissipate, so you can see clearly?
(Mountains surrounding Montserrat, Spain)

You may be wondering why I am reflecting on my addiction to labeling self and others.  While mentoring someone this week, I noticed that she was focusing on all of the negatives about a specific situation.  I found myself identifying with her:  it is so easy to describe what I don't like!

The challenge for her... and myself... and, dare I suggest, all of us: can we name what we like about a situation, about others, and about ourselves?  Can we see the beauty in the intricate complexity of our relationships?  Can we lower the labels and stop listening to the self-recriminating tapes and see anew? 

Can you find beauty in the intricate
design and interconnections with others?
(The Alhambra, Granada, Spain)

I don't think I can stop myself entirely from labeling.  It seems so hardwired into how we experience our world.  But my hope is... one moment at a time... that I will notice when I have trapped myself with definitions and conclusions that limit our interactions.

Once I notice the label or tape, can I:

• Hold the label and tape gently, and wonder where these came from?
• Consider that my conclusions may not be accurate?
• Explore more deeply who I am, who you are, and what we currently understand and believe?

It is in these reflective moments that I can release the constraints that keep me from seeing the beauty and value in you, and I can silence the self-incriminating tapes that imprison me.

 
May this week surprise us with positive outlooks, experiences, and self-discovery.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)