I had a funny experience a few weeks ago: using the Crew Chat function on the cruise ship app, I was texting Customer Service to explain a situation I found myself in. I wanted to get across that a benefit had been promised before the cruise but was no longer available. I used the phrase "Smoke and Mirrors" to get across the idea that promises sounded good until they are not kept: the cruise line seemed to practice "bait and switch" tactics.
In my mind, the text exchange was courteous, a model of true dialogue. At the end of this written conversation, the Customer Representative circled back to what I had mentioned at the beginning: she asked about the smoke and wondered if I was in danger: smoke = fire nearby!
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| What ideas are illusive to explain or understand? (Photo Credit: Smoke from Zuiderdam cruise ship, Larry Gardepie) |
It was at this point that I wondered about the text dialogue just finished:
- How often do I assume ideas have been conveyed accurately?
- What happens when colloquialisms, phrases, or images do not have a shared meaning?
- Whose responsibility is it when we misunderstand one another?
Oftentimes, I think that my conversations mirror exactly what I am thinking, what I am trying to externally reveal about my internal thoughts and ideas. I wonder, though, if more than one image could be emerging?
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| Do we see clearly what others are seeing? (Photo Credit: Zuiderdam mirrors, Larry Gardepie) |
Maybe it's not a matter of blame or fault when we misunderstand another person. Maybe these are opportunities to explore what was said and understood. Maybe misconceptions provide ways to see abstract ideas in new ways: what I initially thought may have other meanings.
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| What do we hear, think, and conclude? ~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~ (Photo Credit: Family Circus, March 27, 2022, Bil and Jeff Keane) |
In some ways our abstractness may be the beginning of Dialogue Unfinished. We may think we are being clear when we share ideas and thoughts. If we shift our stance slightly to include the possibility that misunderstandings may be present, then curiosity, questions and exploration may reveal what was incomplete or unsaid.
In other words, what do we discover in the smoke and mirrors of our thoughts and assumptions? Maybe there is more.
A question for you: what do you consider old?
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| Larry Gardepie (click on link for website) |
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