Another Irish Musing: Life Imitates...

Have you noticed that when we get away from our normal surroundings or out of our comfort zone:

• We pay attention a little more. 
• We notice things that are not familiar.
• We don't necessarily know what to say or do. 

It is as if our autopilot is turned off, and we are required to Respond rather than React.

This is one reason why I enjoy traveling outside my neighborhood and city -- I am challenged to think and feel!

What do you imitate?
(Photo:  Entrance to Pub-Gallery,
Belfast, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

An Irish Pub -- of all places! -- helped me to come to terms with expressions of familiarity and differences.  This particular pub had an outdoor art gallery filled with provocative paintings:  that is, the art pieces provoked feelings of closeness and intimacy to what I knew and understood... AND... they invited a new way of seeing or understanding the world.

For instance, as we entered the outdoor patio, the four corners displayed the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Conquest or Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death).  Looking closer at the people on the horses were figures of Kim Jong Un (representing Pestilence), Ali Khamenei (War), Donald Trump (Famine), and Vladimir Putin (Death).

What are you hungry for?
(Photo:  Great Famine Stained Glass Window,
Belfast City Hall - Larry Gardepie)

Whether I agreed with or believed in the artist's message didn't matter: the art was an expression of another person's views that provoked me to think. 

The Belfast City Hall was another location filled with artwork and stained-glass windows.  One window in particular provided color to the Great Famines of the mid-1800s - part of the Irish history that lives on in their stories and ballads.

It was a reminder that our stories and histories intertwine as we live daily what is familiar... AND... move through Life's travels and broader realities. 

How do you add color to this world?
(Photo:  Stained Glass Windows, St. Patrick's Cathedral,
Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

The openness to experience and understand another perspective may be part of Life's Goal: recognizing that our limited time and place can only be expanded by listening, dreaming, and accepting Other.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Seeing Beyond

For those who have flown on an airplane, have you noticed the difference in what you can see... whether sitting in the aisle, middle, or window seats?  For example: what you see out the window depends on how close or far away you are from the window:  the closer you are, the more you see; the further away, the view is more restricted.

In a larger sense, our perspective in life also changes by the physical, mental, or emotional distances we are to what is happening.

What do you see from your position?
(Photo: View from the Middle Seat - Larry Gardepie)

Applying this illustration to an even wider context, think about what we are experiencing in the world around us.  There is so much we don't know because we might not have the position or perspective of those closer to the situation.

That is why we rely on friends and various media sources to keep us informed.  Our time- and space-limited beings are curious about what is happening beyond the filters that govern our daily lives.

What have you seen?  What do you know?  What is important?

Is there a difference between what is close up and beyond?
(Photo:  View from the Window Seat - Larry Gardepie)

Continuing with this same airplane-position analogy, as we hurtle through space and time, our views of the clouds and landscape below constantly change.  The same is happening in this fast-paced and interconnected world: each day brings new stories, facts, opinions, and analysis.

How do we keep up and stay informed?  What do we vet or make up?  Are our conclusions up-to-date and accurate?

How do we see ourselves?
(Photo credit:  Banksy Art - Facebook download)

Why is this important?  Whether we realize it or not, the awareness that our positions and perspectives can change -- and are changing -- is important.  It affects how we see ourselves and how we dialogue (or not) with others.

If we can change our position (physically, mentally or emotionally), doesn't this mean that the other person can change as well?

In other words, awareness opens us to See Beyond our current -- possibly limited -- assumptions or conclusions about others.

Questions to consider this week:

• What sources inform and create us?
• How are these sources influencing our image of the world?
  
• Are there Questions Unasked about another position or perspective?

And most importantly:  are we aware of areas where our positions or views may need to change?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Perspective Matters

As a child, do you remember drawing a picture of your house and your family?  My house was block-ish with its walls and roof but my family members were proportional with my parents taller and each sibling smaller according to their age.  The concept of height and family order seemed to be understood.

Later, in art class, we learned about dimensions and perspective:  drawing an object with various elements larger when closer to us or smaller when farther away.

Are we taught about perspective or do we observe and replicate perspectives?

How do we understand positions further away?
(Photo:  Balboa Park Colonnade, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

I was reflecting on the matter of perspectives when I was walking in Balboa Park a few weeks ago:  the 1915 colonnades provided a multi-dimensional labyrinth of ideas...

• We judge distance by comparing one object against another.
• Objects are in relationship to one another.
• Can the relative worth of one exist without the other?
  

Is this the same for ideas, opinions, and ideologies:  we compare and contrast; they must be in relationship; existence relies on the other?

Can "like" objects be different?
(Photo:  Wrought Iron Fence, Holland Park, London - Larry Gardepie)

As I played with these musings, I looked at both natural and human-constructed elements of our world... like flowers and weeds (both are plants); boundaries and fences (one defines; the other limits); walls and ceilings (support and cover).

A dependency of comparisons exists that support our thoughts and socially constructed realities (SCRs).  That is, what we:

• Like or don't like;
  
• Value or don't value;
• Consider to be true or not.

I wonder... is our sense of Right and Wrong taught or observed?

What is more important: the walls or the ceiling?
(Photo:  Bath Cathedral, England - Larry Gardepie)

As we begin this New Year, it may be helpful to explore another person's perspective.  What matters to me might not matter to that other person!

 

As we compare our different viewpoints, it also might be important to consider our relationships:

• Is this relationship important?
  
• Do we want to stay in relationship?
• How does this relationship provide perspective and depth?

May these days ahead challenge us to grow beyond our earlier blockish understanding and learn or observe how to appreciate other views.

 

Perspective matters!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

What We Don't See

Each day I am faced with another situation (or two or three...!) where I thought I understood or had things figured out... only to find out that I had jumped to conclusions!  Something that looked straightforward... wasn't.  Or, I didn't have all of the information... and filled in the blanks, incorrectly.

I love mystery and suspense novels where the author changes course at the very end and the last few chapters reveal a different outcome than expected.  The "who done it" ends up being simpler than the complicated conclusions I had constructed.

But, does life have to be this way all the time where I anticipate conclusions that never happen?

Could there be more than one explanation?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo Credit:  Beetle Baily, Greg and Mort Walker, 10/21/23)

These thoughts surfaced recently when I came across a beautiful atrium where the walls were covered with gold-tinted, beveled cut glass.  The walls reflected hundreds of angles of the same lobby but from unique perspectives.  And, when standing in certain locations, the opposing mirrors displayed infinite images moving further away.

I was reminded that where I stand in this moment provides a different view and perspective than if I were to change my position.

Is this true, then, with life in general:  if I were to change my position, would I see an issue differently?

What do you see from where you are standing?
(Photo: Mirrored Wall Reflecting All Angles - Larry Gardepie)

Another special feature of this atrium was the glass staircases:  the sides and the flooring of the spiral stairs were glass.  At first, it was disorienting to walk up or down:  you could see where you were going... straight down!  Arriving at the top of this three-story atrium, I looked down to view the glass stairs, gold-tinted walls, and the lounge area: I was looking at an Eye!

I wonder:  is it a matter of paying attention to where we are going that we are able to see more clearly?

When do you not see what is before you?
(Photo: the Eye of ms Noordam Atrium - Larry Gardepie

Paying attention?  Changing positions?  Seeing more clearly? 

Maybe there's more to life than the way I see it.  Maybe it's a matter of moving beyond the self-reflected images I have of myself.  Maybe it's a matter of staying open to other views.

And maybe this week, it's a matter of waiting for the Author of Life to reveal a different outcome in the next chapter of my life.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Clear Perspectives?

So often I think that my way of thinking or seeing the world is clear... and correct!  It is as if I am looking down a corridor and can see what is ahead of me.  Everything seems so obvious!  Can't you just see it... my way?!

I forget how life is sometimes messy and unpredictable, and I forget that your experiences are just as important.

Where is your focus?
(Photo: Hotel Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, CA - Larry Gardepie)

I was thinking of this recently on a trip to northeastern Canada and Greenland.  In some ways, the human imprint on the environment seemed so familiar, but at times I was faced with the wonder of how humanity had adapted to such a different way of life in this harsh environment.

On tours in two separate locations, questions were asked of our young tour guides and hostesses: "What do you and your young friends do?"  The guide looked perplexed, reflected, and then responded, "We hang out with our friends."

I guess we look for The Foreign in someone else, not realizing how similar we might be... or... we want to see the Familiar and are surprised when the person reveals a different perspective.

Is this person looking at you.. or... at something else?
(Photo credit: download from Facebook, Emmy Green)

One of our stops on this trip was New York City, a place that is fascinating for me but also scary!  The energy and crush of people is sometimes overwhelming but there is a history and vibrancy that is captivating.  This duality of life and perspectives came into focus at the 911 Memorial and Museum.  Again, a guide walked us through the historical elements of the events of September 11, 2001, the aftermath, and the importance of the Memorial and Museum.

 No matter where we stood, there was silence and reverence... like walking into a cathedral and looking up in wonder and awe.  How small we are in comparison to the magnificence of Creator and what is Created!

Do we focus on the person, the flowing, or the abyss?
(Photo: 911 Memorial, New York City - Larry Gardepie)

Looking closer: we saw thousands of names -- all arranged by the connections they had with one another.  Looking outward: water and trees that spoke of life and resilience -- moving forward and upward; and the water flowing into the bottomless abyss -- places we cannot see.

I wonder:  are perspectives as clear as we think they are?

Maybe we are invited to look inward and reflect on the positions and beliefs we closely hold... and then look outward and dialogue reflectively together to understand the similarities and differences of what we see, hear, experience, and believe. 

May we remember the events of 911 and reflect on what healing might look like.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Not Clear on the Details?

The human brain is amazing!  We quickly gather information about our world through our senses, place labels on what we see and experience, and then categorize similar content into buckets or folders.  This helps us easily and readily access our knowledge base when in various situations.

But what happens when:

• We encounter something new or different?
• We misfile information or misunderstand words or actions?
• We go on autopilot and don't pay attention to our "filing system"?

 

Are there times when you don't understand?
~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~
(Photo credit:  Baby Blues, Ricky Kirkman
and Jerry Scott, July 6, 2023)

Yes, our brains are wonderful... but what happens when we don't mind the Mind?  That is, when too much information comes in and overloads our awareness and reasoning.  Like any child reminded to clean our bedroom, we put off any discipline to correct our filing system, to pay attention, to become mindful, and to notice more carefully what is happening around us.

Ruth Asawa, a world-renowned San Francisco artist, created the "San Francisco Fountain."  This elaborate fountain portrays city landmarks and historical events.  When I first stood in front of this larger-than-life artwork, I was overwhelmed.

What details can you see clearly?
(Photo: Ruth Asawa's San Francisco
Fountain - Larry Gardepie)

I realized that I needed to step back and slowly walk around this round edifice.  It was important to take in information a little at a time.  Perspective and appreciation came into focus as I checked out sections with my knowledge of San Francisco and its history.  Eventually, curiosity began to rise within:  What was this symbol or landmark?  Why did the artist place these two items together?  Is there a history I am unaware?

 

It isn't until we engage our curiosity that we actually begin to learn!

Are you quick to put things into place?
(Photo: Restaurant Shelves - Larry Gardepie)

Like Zoe and Hammie in the Baby Blues comic strip at the beginning of this blog, we try to understand through our own experiences.  It isn't until we recognize that we are not clear on the details that we can ask questions.

 

If you are curious about what happens to Zoe and Hammie at the drive-in theater, click here.  Sometimes clarity and understanding happens when we move away from what we know... and explore the details together.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Standing by Your Story?

Listening to a mentor-partner this past week, I wondered about statements that this person was making -- not whether they were true or not, but whether he was distinguishing between facts and assumptions.  He ended with "That's my story!"  Over the next few minutes, we explored this "story":

• What was known or assumed.
• What was observed or shared by others.
• If any biases or filters may have distorted what happened.
  
• How he was piecing together the situation that concerned him.

Understanding that we all "fill in the blanks" and we all "create stories" is a starting point for curiosity:  Am I interested in finding out what really happened?
 

What story do you remember?
~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~
(Photo credit:  Far Side, Gary Larson, 01/30/91)

This lesson hit home when I was watching a YouTube video, "Creating Perspective Art Using Paper Cups."  (Click on link to watch this 3-minute video.)

 

At one point in the video, it says "[The] Key is getting the proportions just right."

 

How true with the stories that we tell: balancing the perspectives of fact, fiction, assumptions, and truth!  We have collected all these disparate pieces of information, but we may have arranged them incorrectly or placed more emphasis on one aspect of the story than another.

How do you piece together the information you receive?
(Photo credit:  Creating Perspective Art Using Paper Cups,
Insider Art, YouTube)

Spending time with another mentor-partner, I heard her describe what seemed like two different stories:  her supervisor said one thing and a work colleague said another.  Having met with the supervisor and work colleague separately the week before, I could see that BOTH stories were correct!  It was a matter of the timeline:  WHEN something had happened.

 

Yes, the stories were different -- and confusing -- to the mentor-partner who had received information from the supervisor and work colleague... but as potential options were being discussed, people's input had changed the story's outcome.  Both stories were true... at the time WHEN they were told.

Does your story provide perspective?
(Photo credit:  Creating Perspective Art Using Paper Cups,
Insider Art, YouTube)

 The lessons for me?  Being able to:

• Keep an open mind about the information I receive;
• Realize that each perspective might be true -- at the time it happened; and,
  
• See the importance of getting the proportions just right.

That is, learning to balance what I hear with the assumptions and stories that I tell myself.  Rather than "Standing by my story," I must be willing to listen and become curious by asking questions about timeline (when), intentions (why), participants present (who), and checking out the facts (how).

May we become creative in the art of perspective!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

To Reframe or Not To Reframe

Have you ever sat for hours in nature, or stared at a painting, a sculpture... or another person?  Rotating an object in your hand or sitting in different places to appreciate another view?  At any moment the object changes... maybe not physically.... but in our mind's eye and what we now see... or understand.

Early on in my life I was fascinated that what I understood before about a person, a situation, or a truth could change over time.  Think of your progression through elementary and high school:  the building blocks of information we received that seemed to change as more information -- and experiences -- entered our lives.

My childhood was filled with endless field trips of learning and being open to new information, insights, and knowledge.

Which facet of an issue do you tend to focus?
(Photo credit:  Diamonds created in minutes at
room temperature, Advanced Science News)

Centuries ago Heraclitus said, "The only constant in life is change."  If change is a constant, why am I no longer as flexible with or excited about these daily changes?  As I have grown older, I tend to focus on one side of an issue or problem and don't inquire about or listen to another facet or perspective as much as I did in the past.

The Child Fascinated with change is still within, but what happened in adulthood that tired me of new ways of thinking and the constancy of change?

How do you respond to gloomy forecasts?
(Photo:  Tropical storm over Panama City
- Larry Gardepie)

Mentioning this to a friend recently, I spoke about my fear of becoming Rigid.  He asked what that word meant to me and what I feared.  By slowing down, letting the emotions surface, and talking to another person, I saw how change was constant in my life... but there have always been ebbs and flows of how I managed or responded to change.

For me, the importance of Framing and Reframing the change event must be balanced -- that is, I must:

• Hold lightly to any long-held values and beliefs;
  
• Test any assumptions and conclusions that have framed my understanding; and
• Consider that others might see, understand, and respond differently (reframing).
  

I must look and consider from multiple vantage points, moving and reconsidering.

Can you see a different perspective?
(Photo: Arches National Park, Utah
- Larry Gardepie)

Also, I am just beginning to understand that labeling (e.g., being rigid) might limit my ability to stay open to other possibilities and insights.  That is, once I label a situation as Right or Wrong, Good or Bad, Dark or Light, Hopeless or Hopeful I may have entered a cul-de-sac of my life that needs to be explored:

• Have I created a dead-end in my thought process?
• Do I believe that I possess the only truth?
  
• Am I open to other possibilities? 

Without the ability to reframe a situation -- or a way of thinking, it is as if my finite being no longer wishes to explore the Infinite Wisdom surrounding us and giving meaning to our lives.  We shut off one another!

This week, may we anticipate and explore the changes of this post-COVID world, and may we be open to constant change!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

 

Uniquely Normal or Normally Unique

Were you one of those kids who wanted to fit in -- to be accepted by your peers?  I remember periods of being less coordinated as my body grew and I had not mastered who I was becoming.  Standing on the sidelines to be picked on a team was intimidating, especially when I was selected last.

Comparing and judging seems to be universal as humans:  we are hardwired to seek out what is safe, normal, or just like us... and protect ourselves from being hurt or singled out for being unique.

Do you want to be normal or unique?
~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~
(Photo credit:  Pickles, Brian Crane)

By the 6th grade I was befriended by an adult who saw that I had talent as a runner.  Having a relative, friend or work colleague identify and encourage us is life giving:  the ability to believe in our own worth and value cannot be underestimated.  There is freedom that comes from belonging AND standing apart:  it creates that individual spark which illuminates even the darkest of moments.

When are you unique?
(Photo:  San Francisco skyline at night,
Larry Gardepie)

I guess I am reliving these earlier childhood memories of wanting to belong because of the societal drive to "return to normal" after these long pandemic-influenced months.  The pressure to conform and not stand out rises in me, bringing to mind those uncoordinated responses as my mind and body was evolving as a child.

I want to shout, "What about the uniqueness of Who I Am and my decisions to value self and protect others?"

Where can you stand out?
(Photo:  narrow street in Old Town Toledo, Spain)

I wonder, do we ever:

• Outgrow our childhood methods to select and accept others?
• Overcome how we think or feel when we are not chosen?
• Become comfortable with our Unique Self?
  

As we listen to what others ask of us this week, may we celebrate the times when we are uniquely normal and bless those times when we are called to be normally unique.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Where You Sit

Meeting virtually with work colleagues and friends these past several years has provided opportunities to meet with people more frequently, especially over long distances.  I've had the pleasure of reconnecting with classmates from elementary school, college friends, and members of my church's youth and young adult groups.  Many of these relationships span decades!  It has been fun to see where life has taken us.

What I have enjoyed are the moments when children or grandchildren want to join the call, noticing artwork on the walls behind the person, or having unintended "tours" of their homes as they walk to more private places to continue our conversations.

There is a blending or merging of different aspects of our lives:  we become more human to each other.

What you see depends on where you stand
(Photo: stairwell in Old Pt. Loma Lighthouse, San Diego,
Larry Gardepie)

I also meet monthly with individuals on an executive team.  These mentoring calls became virtual when the pandemic began, and due to distancing requirements in their organization, the meetings are in different locations throughout their building.  And, sometimes, an individual has called in from their home or apartment.  A fun challenge for me is to guess where that individual is located that month.

Their willingness to move and adapt helped me to realize how often our perspectives change by where we are, who we are with, and how willing we are to see new perspectives.

Sometimes we need to step back to see
how we contribute to the whole
~~ Note: this picture is composed of people dressed in black or red ~~
(Photo: Judy Garland, ms Koningsdam,
Larry Gardepie)

Our dialogue practice encourages a willingness to step back and consider another view.  We do that by noticing our assumptions and conclusions, suspending our judgments, and asking questions.  We are invited into human moments of curiosity and wonder as we begin to see and understand:

• The child within us that wants to be seen;
• How we have decorated our mental spaces with what brings meaning; and,
• The ability to tour the spaces we call home.

Seeing another perspective from where you are standing
(Photo: Penelope sculpture, Coronado,
Larry Gardepie)

If we are paying attention, what we see in the background changes depending on where we sit, the positions we have taken, and the stands that are important to us.  The pandemic has shown me how fluid life is and how "what is normal" can change.  Life has always been dynamic... maybe my thinking became stuck!

What we notice, responding with nonviolence, and staying open allows us to learn and stay in relationship.  Let's practice these skills this week!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Building Perspectives

Downtown San Diego is going through another transformation: a section of North Harbor Drive has become an eight-block construction zone.  Seven major buildings are in various stages of development: the WWII-era Naval Supply Depot was demolished, giving way to a sleek 17-story NAVSUP Fleet Logistics Center San Diego, a research and development district (RaDD), and a bayside park.  Over the next decade Seaport Village will be replaced by shops, hotels, a hostel, an aquarium, and an observation tower.

I have mixed feelings about this new growth: excitement and wonder watching earth being moved and foundations laid; sorrow and loss watching the past being torn down.

What foundations are you laying for the future?
(Photo: RaDD, San Diego)

As I sit with these competing emotions, I have been reflecting on life in general:

• How often do I hold onto past constructs and beliefs?
• What causes me to eventually accept new ideas and insights?
• Is there a way to honor both old and new as life changes?

Life provides many experiences where foundations are shaken or strengthened.  How do I adapt and stay relevant in our emerging world?

When do you work together for the common good?
(Photo:  RaDD, San Diego)

Standing in a safe viewing zone surrounded by various stages of development, I observe dirt being moved, surveyors marking the site, foundations being laid, and workers coordinating their activities around common tasks.  Human ingenuity and cooperation envision skyscrapers rising from these holes.

 

Years of planning, discussion, lawsuits and decisions brought about this day where people can work together to move from past to future.

Can you see new horizons rising?
(Photo: RaDD, San Diego)

Aren't relationships and dialogue like that:

• Moving from the past to the present, laying foundations for the future?
• Listening, agreeing, disagreeing, and arriving at common understandings?
  
•  Eventually working together to rebuild ways to rise above the holes in our individual characters?

As we move through these final days of 2021, I wonder what must be removed to create space for 2022?  Where can we imagine ways to work together?  How might we hold lightly the past and present as we adapt to a common future?

May we seek perspectives and horizons to help us rise above our pasts!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)