Blindness: A Human Condition

Have you ever sat with your doctor or optometrist and taken a color blindness test?  For me, the first time was at our family doctor's office when I was a child.  I was asked to identify the numbers hidden in several colored circles.

Being a person who likes challenges and wanted to pass the test, I hurried through each card.  The doctor didn't give any feedback, and I began to wonder and second guess myself:

• Did I miss something?
• Could I have misunderstood or made a mistake?
• Maybe I hurried through and didn't pay attention?
  

What's wrong with me?  Is the doctor trying to trick me?

What do you see (or not see)?
(Photo credit: Color Vision Deficiency
- American Optometric Association)

Color blindness does run through my family, but I eventually found out that I saw colors within the normal spectrum.  This childhood experience, though, fascinated me:

• The need for feedback and approval;
• The self-doubt and questioning;
• The desire to be normal and accepted; and,
  
• The quickness in blaming or suspecting someone else.
  

How many of us can identify?

Do we notice our own blindness?
(Photo credit: Color Blindness - Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments
- Prasad Netralaya)

What I have noticed over the years:  there are many different types of blindness that we may struggle with -- color blindness; congenital blindness; night vision; macular degeneration; central vision loss...

 

And, if we are honest with ourselves, there are several forms of cultural, ethical and spiritual blindnesses that limit how we see and experience this beautiful world.

Are we willing to notice and accept our limitations?
(Photo credit:  Cultural Blindness - Definitions, Examples,
Pros, Cons - HelpfulProfessor.com)

Blindness is an inability to see; an unwillingness to perceive or understand; and, sometimes, it is a lack of judgment or ignorance.  Blindness is a human condition that we all experience in some form.

 

This is where we need one another: for feedback and affirmation; correction and treatment; support and carrying... and to slow down blaming the other person for our own limitations.

 

What blindness or limitation will you notice and explore this week?

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Connections

Over the past several weeks, I have been working on reconnecting with classmates and friends from grade school.  Our school is celebrating its 65th anniversary this year so a few of us have begun planning an in-person reunion to help celebrate this milestone.

In the process of searching for alumni and gathering contact information, I have noticed that long-forgotten memories have begun surfacing:  favorite teachers and subjects; birthday parties and sleepovers; spelling bees and competitions.

Looking back, it seems like life was simpler, naive and more carefree.

Are you aware of what connects you?
~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~
(Photo credit:  Bizarro, Wayno & Piraro, 04/26/23)

But was it?  For our parents and teachers, they were in roles of providing for our well-being, education, and safety.  Our role was to learn and follow the structures and discipline that was provided.  The complexity and simplicity probably depended on the role and responsibility of each person.

I am finding that these earlier connections are still present -- even though dormant these many decades as I moved on with my life.  Memories of graduating from elementary and high schools, then on to college... first jobs... graduate school... and a career.  At each stage, it felt like jumping off a cliff -- freedom and fewer safety nets; unknowns but a tangle of old and new connections; adventures but a similarity when I landed.  Connections -- both complex and simple.

When do you feel the most unconnected?
(Photo:  Mazatlan cliff diver - Larry Gardepie)

The Structures Learned and Connections Remembered provide solace in moments of uncertainty.  Paying attention and making decisions rooted in previous experiences allowed us to swing like Tarzan and Jane through our childhood -- moving from our childhood Family Tree to a broader Tree of Life.

The importance, I believe, is noticing what has illuminated the paths we have chosen -- what we have held onto or let go... connections.

What helps to illuminate your path?
(Photo:  Nighttime departure, Hilo, Hawaii - Larry Gardepie)

Understanding the connections between Self and Others allows us to discover what is good and desirable.  Strengthening the connections that support and challenge allows us to learn and grow.  Seeing and listening allows us to connect information and test its validity.

I wonder... why are so many people these days trying to break the connections of structure, discipline, lessons learned and remembrance?

What are your thoughts?  Let's reconnect!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Blindness and Elephants

Working with a non-profit organization a few years ago, I was aware of a situation that the executive team was having difficulty discussing.  Rather than approaching the dilemma head on, I asked each person to write down what was seen, understood, thought and felt.  I explained ahead of time that each individual would have a choice what was shared... but I asked them to be honest with themselves and to write down everything that they observed.

I then asked them, on the left-hand column of their papers, to write down what they could not say... and why.  I assured the team that I would not collect their papers, that no one would see what they wrote, and that I would not coerce them to say what they were unwilling to share.

The choice was theirs to describe what they could in that moment.

What do you see?
~~ Click on image for larger view ~~
(Photo credit:  The Blind Men and the Elephant, Sophia Tepe)

Each person was given the opportunity to speak -- when they were ready -- with no limit on time.  After each individual we spent a few minutes in silence to think about what was said.  People could write down questions or thoughts about what they heard, but this first round was about describing what you saw, thought, and felt -- without interruption or questioning or problem-solving.

Once everyone had a chance to share their points of view we again sat in silence.  Rather than going into clarifying questions or addressing what was in common or different, I invited the team to reflect on what it was like to be listened to without interruption and what it was like to listen without having to respond.

Where is your focus?
(Photo:  Embassy Suites San Diego Bay, Larry Gardepie)

This executive team touched their humanity: shared places of not seeing or knowing; feelings of being lost or overlooked; and opportunities to connect on deeper levels of understanding.  We then took a 15-minute break (in silence) so that what was said could percolate.  When people returned, we moved into curiosity:  asking questions; accepting differences; and seeing what was in common.

At the very end of our time together, we approached the "Elephant in the Room" by asking one question:  What do we want to do about this situation?

Is there a non-violent way to approach your situation?
(Photo credit:  Mahatma Gandhi, Brainy Quote)

I was moved by the way this team chose to address their situation.  Instead of immediately going into problem-solving or blaming, they began to understand how differently they thought and understood.  A more profound truth began to emerge and other options surfaced as they slowed down and realized there were multiple ways to interpret and address a situation.

 
I wonder, with the complexities we encounter these days, is it time to listen and see what part of the elephant our blindness is trying to understand?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)