Stories Untold

Life is amazing!  Think back on your childhood -- or if you are a parent, think back when your children were little:

• The world was a wonder to be explored.
• Everything was new, mysterious, and an adventure.
• Learning and growth were the norm.

We smiled and clapped at every discovery.  We were cheered on with each accomplishment and milestone.  We walked through many doors with anticipation... and sometimes with fear and caution.  But, in those moments, I remember being encouraged to try something new.

Do you experience joy at open doors in your life?
(Photo:  Balloon Arch - Larry Gardepie)

Childhood memories and stories were being remembered and shared this past weekend at my grade school's alumni reunion.  We were celebrating the school's 65th anniversary.  As a member of the planning committee, I saw the reunion ideas form and come to life.  Leading up to the event, the empty parish hall was transformed outwardly with balloons, flowers, table clothes, photos, candles, and every festive object that reminded us of the school.

 

What was also fascinating?  The transformation of the alumni as they walked through the doors and saw long-forgotten faces, and began sharing tales and reconnecting with their childhood innocence, curiosity, and energy.

Are you ready for the party to begin?
(Photo:  Empty Hall - Larry Gardepie)

Isn't that what life is about:  the reconnecting of past and present; the joining of our world experience with others; the rekindling of what is lost and finding new ways to experience life?

 

Questions that we may want to ask ourselves:

• Have we lost the ability to wonder and explore... why?
• If we no longer cheer on accomplishments and milestones... why?
• Do we encourage others... do we feel encouraged... why?

When and where do you enjoy your friendships?
(Photo: Enjoying Friends - Larry Gardepie)

A fun point in the reunion was the school tour:  we saw the small, child-sized desks we had outgrown; we drank from the fountains that were too low for our adult bodies; we heard how different current teaching methods are; and we ran to the swing sets to see who could fly the highest!

 

Time has changed, and so has our world.  Maybe we need moments like these to remind us to reconnect with others... to re-union (re-unite) with ourselves and the childhood wonder of the stories untold.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

What is the Question?

Have you ever counted the number of questions you ask each day?  I started... one day... then noticed I got bored and moved on.  I kept waiting for a question to arise, but became distracted with work, projects, and searching the web.  Maybe that individual mining of information on the internet is where my inquisitiveness is directed these days.

But, do you remember:

• The spontaneous inquisitiveness of a 3 year old?
• The adage, "There's no such thing as a stupid question"?
•  The game, "20 Questions"?
  

It seems that curiosity and questions were social activities:  discovering the world by asking one another what we thought or were thinking and feeling.

How many questions do you ask a day?
(Photo credit:  Asking Questions is Really Hard,
Huffpost - The Blog)

There are moments in life when we are left with questions... that are meant to be asked.... that may not have answers.  I wonder why we don't ask them?  Are we afraid of the answers?  The interaction?  The unknowing?

I read in a dialogue book recently that 40% of questions are actually statements in disguise and another 40% are judgments in disguise.  That leaves about 20% of our questions that truly spring from curiosity... where we are seeking to understand... that allow new information to be shared.

Are you curious about what others think?
(Photo credit: The Value of Listening,
Harvard Graduate School of Education)

Rather than counting how many questions I ask each day, maybe my focus should be on what generated the question:  sharing my view (a statement); projecting conclusions (judging); or exploration (curiosity).  It seems that the gift of discovery is what prompts a 3-year old's mind... that invites questions of the unknown... and allows us to engage together in a game of Question-Asking.

Just think of the societal transformation if we could relegate our statements and judgments into Advocacy (this is what I believe) and reserve the purity of our questions to genuine Inquiry (What do you think?... I really want to know about... Will you help me?).

Do your questions allow new ideas to
emerge from old thoughts?
(Photo: US Naval Military Sealift, San Diego)

By dismantling older ways of thinking and being, we might be able to experience the emergence of new information and knowledge.

Yes, the focus is on the types of questions we ask, but more importantly, I believe, is the relationship that spawns from these questions.  Are we willing to seek answers together rather than individual searches of the internet that lock us into our isolation?

Let us consider:

• What is the question?
• Am I curious about new information?
• Can I invite you into a relationship of discovery?

What do you think?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Taking Notice

Each of the seasons has its own beauty.  What I notice about Spring, though, are the vibrant colors, life emerging from dormant soil, and a sense of Beginning Anew.  The long, dark days of winter are giving way to light and warmth.

Here in Southern California, though, the changes are more subtle, especially when winter months are milder than normal and Santa Ana wind conditions occur more frequently.  Colors splash the gardens and landscapes throughout the year.

But there is a difference: plants seem to sparkle; the air becomes clearer; and windows are reopened to what the day brings.

What have you noticed today?

It might be in the degree of Noticing, becoming sensitive to the nuances and changes occurring inwardly... and outwardly.

As I was walking with a friend this past week, we were talking about local and national events: COVID vaccinations; moving from more restrictive guidelines to lesser ones; and the ability to begin planning -- cautiously -- for the weeks and months ahead.

Several questions are surfacing from this COVID hibernation:

• What kind of world are we emerging into?
• Where will we find normalcy and beauty?
• Who and what can we trust?

Where is Beauty Emerging?

Walking in the neighborhood, we came across signs that life is returning:  trees and bulbs planted years prior displaying spectacular blossoms, and seeds and seedlings providing new growth unseen.  Some landscapes seem familiar... but I realize, they are not the same as last year:  the trees have grown; the bulbs have split; the new arrivals bring variety.

When have you seen the Light
behind the Beauty?

As we take notice -- inwardly and outwardly -- of our post-COVID surroundings, I wonder what we will find behind our stories of confinement, limitations, and loss?

• Will we seek the familiar?
• Will we hold onto the past season?
• Will we notice Newness Emerging?

My assumption is "Yes" to all of these questions.  What do you think?  Where are you reopening friendships to new discoveries?  How might you share Thoughts Buried?  Is there a way to clear the air between you and a perceived foe?

 

I would guess that we are not the same people as we were pre-pandemic.  How do we share what we have seen and experienced?  How can we listen and become curious about another person's journey?

My hope is that our Lenten Days will give way to the Easter Season of Hope, that we learn the Passover lessons of our freedom from bondage; and that we experience the Life Emerging... familiar but different.  May we embrace the Light behind our Darkness.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)