A Heart That Listens

Have you heard the phrase "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"?  Recently, I read  that this saying first appeared in Greek in the 3rd century BC.  The saying did not surface in English in its current form until the 19th century.  There were similar versions as people over the centuries attempted to explain the subjective nature of what we like or don't like.

I wonder:  does Beauty Exist... whether we see it or not... and we have the personal choice to experience it or not?

Are we able to see beauty?
(Photo credit:  Michael Tompkins)

In other words, our seeing and accepting Beauty does not negate its existence.  Rather, our personal and individual choices filter the world:  we accept only a portion of the beauty that exists; there is so much more than what we hold in our limited and time-focused minds.

If this is true about Beauty, is it the same for Truth and Kindness and Goodness?  They exist, but our minds pass over what we do not understand.  Our finite lives experience what we are able to in that Moment of Choice.

Does beauty exist if we don't see it?
(Photo: Sunset at Sea, Larry Gardepie)

Dialogue is one tool that allows us to ask questions, to seek understanding, and to touch briefly another person's world... a world of Truth and Beauty that already existed even before our questions and understanding.  The passing over and resurrecting The Choice to see beauty invites us into opportunities to reconnect with family and friends.  The ability to Be Kind and Listen is the salve that heals our blindness to the Beauty, Truth, and Goodness that already existed in those around us.

When can your kindness heal the hearts of others?
(Quote attributed to:  F. Scott Fitzgerald)

May these Holy Days of Passover, Ramadan and Easter open our minds and eyes to the Holy One that exists in you and your families.

Blessings as faith stories are remembered and dialogue enkindles what is important. 
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Do I Really Hear You?

After last week's reflections on whether I actually see -- and respect -- others, I began wondering about what I hear:

• Do I hear only what I want to hear? -- or --
  
• Am I truly open to hearing -- and listening -- to other points of view?

Yes, I admit, there are times when the volume of arguments is so loud and deafening that I close down, walk out of the room, and protect myself.  Also, there are times when I just don't want to listen.  Or I convince myself that I don't have the time or energy to engage an opposing insight.

I wonder what percentage of time I actually listen to and try to understand others?

What causes you to close down?
(Photo credit:  17 Reasons People
Aren't Listening to You, Inc.com)

Studies show that humans have a remarkable capacity to filter out and focus on specific sounds and stimuli.  We also can justify and rationalize any kind of response and behavior.  The diversity of thoughts and opinions almost seems infinite as we think or feel through very complex situations.  If we have the capacity to filter out or close down, I assume that we also can focus in and open up!

What happens, though, when we treat our thoughts, opinions, and conclusions as fact?  When we don't want to explore the facts of a situation?

Are there distractions that keep you from hearing?
(Photo credit:  Where Music and Empathy
Converge in the Brain, Mind & Body)

 A few definitions to consider before continuing:

 

Opinions:

• Beliefs or judgments that rest on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
• Personal views, attitudes, or appraisals. 

Facts:

• Something that actually exists; reality; truth.
• Something known to exist or to have happened.
  
  

How can we open ourselves to listen with intention?
(Photo credit:  Chinese Listening Practice -
Why and How to Get Started, FluentU)

Dialogue requires us to differentiate between opinions being shared and facts or truths that exist.  Being able to listen -- and ask -- about the certainty of concepts or thoughts we express allows us to come to a shared understanding:

• Ah... this is your opinion.
• Oh... that is a fact.
• I wonder... what do we (together) know for certain versus what you or I (individuals) believe?

Seeing and hearing invites us into Sacred Respect.  We may not agree, but...

• Are we willing to stay in relationship?
• Can we consider another viewpoint?
• Is it possible that other opinions or conclusions have validity?

 

Maybe respect is the key to unlocking how we live together: seeing and hearing the Sacred Worth and Value of each person.

 

What do you think?

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)