Wandering and Wondering

This is the first time in over 5 years that I have had difficulty writing this weekly blog!  Normally, I write about what I am noticing that week:  conversations with friends and loved ones; encounters with strangers in public areas; reflections as I consider my past and present... wondering about our future together.

This week, though, I am overwhelmed with scenes of unrest, harsh words, and anger; political parties with differing agendas; people watching and reacting (or not) to the January 6th hearings and SCOTUS decisions; COVID lingering in our midst...

As we move on with our daily lives, I wonder if we are ignoring the seriousness of this moment in time.  Are we seeking to return to Normal... but haven't realized the Past Normal no longer exists, has disappeared, or has been destroyed by our anger or indifference?

What foundations in our lives need to be repaired?
(Photo: wharf destroyed by fire, Astoria, Oregon,
Larry Gardepie)

I am aware of a numbness in my outlook.  My ability to consider solutions, seek advice from others, or look for possibilities is being challenged with the circumstances we face as a society.  An example of inconsistencies I am noticing:  just a few months ago, one group of people was frustrated and angry when choice was taken away from them (having to wear a mask in public settings or get a vaccine in order to keep a job).  Now, other choices are being eliminated or threatened to be taken away... and some of these same people are on news outlets celebrating decisions to remove these choices from others.

I understand that there is a fine balance between individual rights, decisions being imposed on others, and what is good and proper for everyone.  I wonder, though, do we notice when our own views tip the balance in our favor and away from another person's beliefs?

Where do you have balance in your life?
(Photo credit:  Miyoko Shida Rigolo, Georgia's Got Talent)

I have questioned since grade school why one person or group has to dominate or always WIN... forcing the other person or group to be humiliated with LOSS:  we celebrate our win but are oblivious to the pain being felt by others.  How might we walk together... and away from this dualism of domination, bullying, and having to conquer?

We have several choices before us:

• Are we willing to stay in relationship with people who experience life differently?
• Can we set aside our ignorance, disbelief, anger and violence to ask questions and seek understanding?
• Are we able to coexist and treat everyone respectfully?

Are you willing to wander with others
as we try to understand what is happening?
(Photo credit:  British crinkle-crankle wall, deMilked)

Maybe it is time to set down any weapons of violence, disrespect, and dislike.  Maybe it is time to sit down and discuss our numbness, our confusion, our vulnerability.  Maybe it is time we realize... we need one another!

 

What would it be like to:

• Accept diverse ideas and opinions?
• Move away from Win-Lose, Right-Wrong, and Either-Or thinking?
• Strive for Both-And solutions?

I wonder... is it possible to balance individual and societal needs... of acceptance, worth, value and respect?  I believe the answer is "Yes!"

How are you feeling?  What do you think is happening?  Will you wander and wonder with me? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Listening for Understanding

Another milestone: 500,000.  Not just a number, but people -- family members, friends, neighbors, work colleagues -- no longer blessing us with their presence, stories, jokes, and support.  Watching CNN's memorial service, "We Remember 500,000," I was thinking of the Dialogues Lost: we are no longer able to ask questions or listen to another person's experience of life.  Gone... but the memories.

Whether in May 2020 (100,00) or September (200,000), November (300,000), January 2021 (400,00) or February (500,000), the fabric of our society is being torn asunder.  Pieces of who we are as a nation are being removed from our midst... silently and in isolation.

How do we remember and grieve?
(Photo credit: President Biden Delivers Emotional
Remembrance of 500,000 COVID Victims, Getty Images, NPR)

Through prayers, individual stories, and music, we were allowed to remember -- and grieve.  Rather than encouraging action and moving on, we were being asked to slow down, listen, and try to understand the significance of what this past year has wrought on us... as individuals, local communities, a nation, and the world.

One person said that our minds go numb with what is happening: the numbers are too huge to grasp; the grief is too deep.  But remember, we must.

In what ways do we memorialize
lost relationships?
(Liberty Station, San Diego

I wonder if Relationships Lost creates a similar numbness?  Do we retreat into the recesses of our memories, expectations and assumptions, unable to cope under the loss?  How do we memorialize the Time Lost when we move too quickly into action -- and forget to reflect, to seek awareness, and notice other pathways to explore?

What corridors of our memories
are we willing to explore?
(Liberty Station, San Diego)

COVID has reminded me of the Sacredness of Life -- all life: the unborn and the living; those whom I agree with or disagree; people in my inner circle or those beyond that boundary.

In the midst of a number -- 500,000 -- it seems that we continue to look for blame: what should have been done earlier; who is masking or not; who are being vaccinated or not; what political party has the answers or not...

I wonder, wouldn't it be easier if we:

• Slowed down;
• Reflected on the losses; and
  
•  Listened for understanding? 

As we move through our numbness and grief, may we seek peace in these losses... and hope in what we have gained.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)