From Adjectives to Labels

Politics is one of those areas that I find fascinating... but would never consider personally for a profession!  We want the best people to step forward to be our leaders... but so much time, energy, and money is spent tearing down these people.  Such a paradox!

I've noticed over the last few decades how varying beliefs and values have divided us: we sometimes can't be in the same room with people who think differently!

Just look at our "social" media:  it is full of memes that repeat slogans and ideologies that separate us.

How do you handle differing views?
(Photo credit:  Facebook download)

Language helps us convey abstract thoughts to another person.  We use words to describe what we are thinking, feeling, seeing, and doing.  We may not always select the right words.  That is why patience and curiosity are important. 

I don't want to use this forum to highlight one political party over another, but a recent example of our current political discourse shows how words shift from being adjectives to becoming labels:  that is, describing someone's words and actions as Weird to then calling that person a Weirdo.

Words have power:  they influence our way of thinking; they sometimes call us to action.

Where are you generous in spirit?
(Photo credit:  Kindred Spirits, Cork, Ireland)

Have you heard this story about the American Indian Choctaw tribe:  in 1847, they heard about the Irish potato famine and collected $200 to send to the starving families in Ireland.  The Choctaw were not rich.  In fact, they too were suffering hardships.  Words describing hardships challenged these people to support others.

The Irish created the Kindred Spirits sculpture in County Cork to commemorate this act of selfless giving: nine 20-foot tall stainless-steel feathers arranged in the shape of a bowl of food.  The Choctaw and Irish are forever joined.

Words moved people to action:  humanity came together to understand Suffering Shared.

When do words set you free?
(Photo: Storefront Design, Carlsbad, CA - Larry Gardepie)

Shifting from adjectives to labels is quick:  we move from descriptors of what we are experiencing to opinions and conclusions about others.  This is the movement from adjectives to labels that I am describing.  We all do this!

I believe that language and words are meant to connect and build, to share meaning and understanding... and to explore similarities and differences.  I don't believe they are intended to hurt... but sometimes they do!

The challenge this election cycle is to listen to our words.  Like the Choctaw, how can we hear the suffering of another and be moved to support?

May our words this week help to free ourselves and others!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

To Understand... To Stand Under... To Support

A friend told me of a Chinese national who was learning English.  When learning about compound words, she would study the meaning of the two separate words (e.g., "under" and "stand") to see how different the newly-joined word ("understand") would be.  Her learning technique was to play with the words as she sounded them out and added them to her English vocabulary.  It was a visual process as she connected her newfound words with her native tongue and Chinese characters.

With Understand, she came to the conclusion that it meant "to stand under" or "to support."  

What a simple and unique way to understand -- or support -- a new thought or concept -- the bridge between one way of thinking and another!

When do you support another person's understanding?
(Photo:  Centennial Bridge,
Panama - Larry Gardepie)

I was thinking of this story and its images as I traveled through the Panama Canal recently: cruising under the bridges that span the canal and the two continents joined by these bridges -- the Bridge of the Americas (1964), the Centennial Bridge (2004), and the Atlantic Bridge (2019).  As traffic flow has increased along the 19,000 mile Pan-American Highway, more support was needed and additional bridges were built to crossover the divide.

What a beautiful metaphor as North, Central and South America learn to understand or bridge our varied cultures!

When do you transfer knowledge to someone else?
(Photo: Pilot and Pilot Boat transfer,
Panama Canal - Larry Gardepie)

At the beginning of our journey, a pilot who knew the canal, its operations, and currents came onboard our vessel to provide information and assistance. Tugboats pulled and guided us through the new locks.

It is that transfer of knowledge that is so important to our lives:  the connections between what we have learned and what is missing; the willingness to rely on others and their experiences; and the humility to accept help and direction.

Do you allow others to assist you along life's pathways?
(Photo:  new Agua Clara locks,
Panama Canal - Larry Gardepie)

Look at the number of compound words in this post:  under-stand; new-found; cross-over; on-board; and in-formation.  I wonder how these compound words would be translearned by this Chinese national in my friend's story?

I would suggest that all of these words support our dialogue practices:

• The ability to support (or understand);
• The openness to explore interactions (newfound crossovers);
• The eagerness to assist others (onboard) with the transfer of facts and knowledge (information); and
• To overcome our narrow perceptions (= knowledge).

  May we learn this week to stand under and support one another.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Help Me Understand

For the past several years, long-time friends from elementary school have gathered virtually to reminisce on our childhood friendships and to catch-up on our lives.  Though we are different people decades away from our grade school years, there remains a kernel of who we were and are to one another.  I've been mulling over our last gathering:  at one point the conversation became much more serious than previous reunions.

Was it a reflection that we were ready to talk through today's complexities?  Were the differences in our current lives ready to stretch our past friendships?  Is there something hidden beyond the classroom and schoolyard remembrances?

Can you see beyond what you see today?
(Photo:  Balboa Park, San Diego, Larry Gardepie)

What I have learned about relationships in the intervening years since I was younger and more naive is the importance to value and accept people for who they are... their individual dreams, aspirations and experiences.  Mind you, I don't always remember these lessons!  Rather, I fall back into being anxious when not picked on a team or competing to be the best in the Classroom of Life or knowing that I have the right answer!

And, in the confusion of today's world, I find myself caught between opposing views or activists who require that I accept only their worldview.

I have to remind myself that I have moved away from the classroom and playground where the teacher or an adult moderated the environment... asking that we share the swings and balls and four square courts, allowing others who have raised their hands to answer the questions, and playing fair with one another.

Are you too close to a situation to see everything?
(Photo:  Dart Coffee Company, Santa Barbara,
Larry Gardepie)

Similar to our younger selves in the classroom and on the playground, I wonder if:

• We take some situations too seriously.
• There are instances when we do not see clearly.
• We may need to step back and listen.

In addition, maybe we could relax more, play, and have fun!

 

How can you step back and consider another perspective?
(Photo:  Dart Coffee Company, Santa Barbara,
Larry Gardepie)

A phrase that I learned and have come to value -- but again, I admit I don't always use:  Help me understand...  In this one phrase I am: asking for help; expressing that I don't understand; and when said with curiosity and humility, inviting you to share your thoughts and ideas.  In essence, the adult who moderated our classroom and playground environment surfaces within me:  can we live together and share what we know and understand?

May we learn to value and accept others.  May we play fair in thoughts, words, and actions.  May we help each other to understand.

 

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)