TMI

Are you confused with some of the new abbreviations used in messaging or texting?  Oftentimes, I must look up the initials so I can understand the response or context of a comment.  Like the difference between LOL and ROFL... AFAIK and LMK... JK and JW.*

I remember the first time I heard someone say TMI in a conversation... looked it up... and then wondered what information was too much?

It seems that modern life has introduced several short cuts... in expressions and language, getting to a desired location, and how we enter or nurture relationships.

Have you ever wondered how something
-- or someone -- developed?
(Photo: Palm Trees at Pu'uhonua o Honaunau
National Historical Park, Hawaii - Larry Gardepie)

Seeing a crooked palm tree among a palm grove got my attention.  I thought, "That's interesting!"  I wondered how it grew so differently than the others:  Had it been lying on the ground before being planted upright?  Was its crookedness intentional?  Was something wrong with it?  Was it diseased?

Then I began noticing other palm trees, Ti plants, and ferns trying to break through the hardened lava landscape.  The energy to survive and flourish! "Isn't that interesting?" became a mantra as I explored the sacred area around Pu'uhounua o Honaunau, a place of refuge for Hawaiians who had broken kapu.

What is revealed when we notice?
(Photo: Night Flight into San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

As I noticed my surroundings, I found that I wanted to learn more:  the TMI (Too Much Information) of our abbreviated lexicon soon transformed into That's More Interesting than the previous discovery.  I wanted to ask questions, understand the differences, and explore what was being revealed.

I believe that is what society and community is about: the opportunity to share information and learn from one another.

Are we interested in seeing what is hidden?
(Photo:  Full Moon among Palm Trees - Larry Gardepie)

Abbreviations may simply be short cuts in a fast-paced, modern world.  But, there could be a risk in using them exclusively:  the meaning might be hidden or misunderstood if the other person isn't aware.  After all, your TMI might be interesting to me!

JW... are there any shortcuts you use that are helpful?

Questions to consider this week:  when we TMI each other (Wow!  Now it's a verb!), are we...

• Asking the other person to stop sharing... or... do we want to hear more?
• Saying we don't care... or... that we are interested?
• Trying to stop communicating.... or... we are ready to move ahead?
  

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* You probably know many of the abbreviations cited above, but just in case:

• LOL = Laugh Out Loud
• ROFL = Rolling On The Floor Laughing
• AFAIK = As Far As I Know
• LMK = Let Me Know
• JK = Just Kidding
• JW = Just Wondering
  

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

Curiously in the Moment

When was the last time you were in a learning situation, genuinely curious, and lost track of time?  I had that experience recently at a Kona coffee estate.  A friend and I -- on the spur of the moment -- decided to sign up for a coffee roastmaster session.  It included a coffee tasting, a tour of the coffee farm, and an individual roasting class that allowed us to create our own signature roasts.

What is interesting:  I have had less than 5 cups of coffee in my life!  I love the smell of coffee but have never acquired the taste or the habit.

Do you remember the last thing you did not know?
(Photo:  Coffee plant and flowers,
Ueshima Coffee Company - Larry Gardepie)

So, during the tasting portion of our tour, it was difficult for me to appreciate the differences between medium, dark, and peaberry!  They all tasted like... coffee!... that hot beverage that I never drank!

Our tour guide explained why Kona coffee is a premium product: the volcanic soil; the higher elevation; the dry days, rainy afternoons, and cool evenings; the hand-picked ripe "cherries"; and the slow drying and roasting processes.

I have been on several wine tours, but I found this coffee experience much different:  there were similarities... but there was so much I did not know.

When are you ready to learn?
(Photo:  Coffee plant and coffee cherries - Larry Gardepie)

Because the experience and information were new, I found myself engaged, willing to learn, and fully present.  I recalled earlier in life when these moments came more often:  I would listen intently, ask questions, and sense that I had truly learned.  The guide was wonderful in that he stayed on script, acknowledged my questions, and wove in answers when the timing was appropriate to the coffee planting timeline or sequence of his presentation.

The willingness to learn, ask questions, and take in new information encouraged my curiosity.

What is your desired outcome?
(Photo: Coffee roasting options - Larry Gardepie)

By the time we went to the roasting session, I understood the differences between a coffee cherry, bean and peaberry, and the importance of waiting for cherries to ripen individually and be handpicked.  This understanding helped me to appreciate Kona coffee and why it is considered a premium coffee.

The roasting had a series of instructions based on the desired result: length of time and constant monitoring.

Do you monitor your progress?
(Photo:  Classic coffee roasters - Larry Gardepie)

How does this relate to dialogue, you might be asking?!

There were several lessons learned in the few hours at the coffee estate:

• Pay attention to what you know, think you know, or don't know.
• Be willing to ask questions... and wait for the answers.
• Test your understanding by sharing any thoughts or conclusions.
• Apply what you have learned and be willing to change any previous conclusions.

After the tour and roasting session, we went back to the coffee tasting area.  The coffee taste had changed... or had I?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Human Complexity

My Iowa grandparents would spend their two-week vacation each year in California with us.  My family would pack into the station wagon and trek two hours north to the San Francisco International Airport. At that time the terminals were arranged in a horseshoe around a circular multi-story parking garage.  There was one multi-lane road into the airport and the garage and one multi-lane road away from the airport.

As time passed, the needs of San Francisco changed:  the airport terminals now surround the garage; an automated train connects the terminals; BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) provides public transportation to the airport; and the road system and overpasses have become more complex.

I saw an aerial view of SFO recently and was amazed at how it's changed over the years.

Has your life become more complex over time?
(Photo credit:  San Francisco Airport - Facebook post)

Complexity, change and inconsistency are the words surfacing in my mind since last week's post, A Confession (click on link to read).  I introduced myself:  "Hi!  My name is Larry G, and I am a recovering dialogue-aholic!"

The situation I encountered last week had to do with the elections: how divided our country is; how complex our lives have become; and how inconsistent we are with our needs or wants.  I am afraid as we try to figure where to go, we are traveling through life too quickly and missing important signs.

WE (individually and collectively) have created the complexity -- in ourselves, our families, and our communities.

Do we acknowledge what humans have created?
(Photo credit:  Highway Engineering - Facebook post)

Examples?  We say we want to slow down... but we take on more.  We say the economy has left us behind... yet airports are hitting record travel above pre-pandemic levels.  We say food and everything is more expensive (which is true), but we've been setting all-time highs in consumer buying (looking at volume not increased prices).  Cost-of-living and gas is high, yet we voted for bonds and tax increases and still buy gas-guzzling trucks and SUVs.  We point to our elected officials and vote them out of office, yet we don't change our ways.

I know these examples are myopic and incomplete, but the surface level disturbs me:  we aren't willing to have civil conversations about what we need or want.  Rather, we label The Other as the problem and create dividing lines that separate us.

Are we part of the problem?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Highway Engineering - Facebook post)

This disconnect became evident when a red-capped woman identified me as a "F------ Liberal" and accused me two days before the election of creating the problems in our country.  I noticed that I listened to the election results Tuesday evening through this isolated experience... I was hurt... I was angry... I was misjudged... I was blamed.

How bad is OUR situation and how isolated have WE become? If one-half of OUR population is upset (no matter which side WE are on), there is a problem!  This is not a WE-THEY issue... WE are talking about US!

Complexity, change, and inconsistency... maybe WE need to talk about it in a civil manner... as Americans... all on the same side... not blaming... but listening... and wondering how to move forward.

 Oops!  I forgot!  "Hi!  My name is Larry G, and I am a recovering dialogue-aholic!"
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

A Confession

Hi!  My name is Larry G, and I am a recovering dialogue-aholic!  I had several encounters this past week where I hit bottom:  I realized that dialogue was not the answer in every situation.

The first instance occurred last weekend.  I was in line behind someone, waiting to check out of a hotel.  Simple task: wait patiently, check out, put the suitcases in the car, and leave.

Where do you see beauty?
(Photo:  Rose Window, Notre Dame Cathedral,
Paris - Larry Gardepie, 2006)

This simple task became complicated when the customer and hotel clerk visited for several minutes.  Overhearing what others are saying isn't always a good thing, especially in this situation when the customer -- wearing a red cap -- began spouting how Liberals were ruining the country and how wearing a red cap often triggers them.

After several more minutes where work wasn't being transacted, we got the clerk's attention.  She asked what we wanted, and we explained we would like to check out and get a receipt.  Several more minutes later, the customer eventually moved away, across the lobby, and waited for the elevator.

What happens when storm clouds arrive in your life?
(Photo: Storm clouds over Panama City - Larry Gardepie, 2019)

Sound okay so far?  Suddenly, from across the lobby, the previous customer started yelling at us, calling us "F------ Liberals" and how we can't stand her wearing her red cap.  Then she began coming towards us yelling more hated-filled speech.

Feeling in danger, dialogue was nowhere in my head!  I yelled back for her to stop and move away from us.  (For those who know me, this is not me!)

When are you called to lofty peaks?
(Photo: Denali, Alaska - Larry Gardepie, 2004)

The customer moved away but kept yelling at us until the elevator doors opened and she left the lobby.  Dialogue was not on my mind when I turned toward the hotel clerk, and angrily accused her of not doing her job, engaging in political speech, and not coming to our aid when the abusive person was accosting us.  She smiled and said she was doing her job by checking us out of the hotel.

The second instance this week?  I am still reflecting on what happened... and will write about it next week!

Hi!  My name is Larry G, and I am a recovering dialogue-aholic!
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Anniversaries and Memories

Happy Anniversary!

What?!  Did I miss something?  Are you feeling that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are reminded of a birthday, anniversary, or special happening… which you had forgotten?!

No, you haven’t forgotten… at least nothing earth-shattering… so you can relax!  This post marks the 9-year anniversary of this weekly blog:  November 1, 2015 to the present!  (Click on the link to read the first blog.)

Nine years of musings and reflections on our world and its wonderful moments… and our craziness!  These writings have been a way for me to process what I am seeing, hearing, feeling and thinking — and — to listen to your perspectives shared through blog comments, emails, phone calls and in-person conversations.

What I remember most about these 9 years is the value of perspective:  the different ways that each of us sees and interprets our world; the color that we add to the overall picture; and the sum of our truths that we share and accept.

November 1, 2015 seemed like a good starting point: having finished a 2-year study practicum on dialogue practices, attended the worldwide Parliament of World Religions, and celebrating the feasts of All Saints’ Day, All Souls’ Day, and Día de los Muertos.

It was a time of Remembrance and Gratitude… a time for harvesting ideas and intentions… a way to nurture Thanks Giving.

I am mindful of anniversaries and memories as I wait to attend my youngest brother’s wedding this afternoon:  as Kevin and Colleen gather with friends and family, I am mindful of the importance of love and support, forgiveness and kindness, dialogue and growth… ways to celebrate and remember each year the goodness of life.

As we enter the uncertainty of this next week:

• May we remember and celebrate what is important… self and community, new ways and traditions, freedom to agree and disagree.
• May we discover ways to heal our hurting world… through listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand.
• May we move away from our Win-Lose framework… by working towards solutions that address all of our needs and desires.

I give thanks to you this anniversary… for helping me to learn… and I offer you peaceful memories!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)