GPQ* (Growth Potential Quotient)

I once worked for a supervisor who believed that -- at a certain age -- people no longer change.  Being in Human Resources at the time, I thought this a strange conclusion!  I was younger and still idealistic, so I challenged her by pointing to the many ways that employees were adapting to changes the institution was making.  Our conversation ended in a stalemate when she listed many instances where people were resisting these very same changes.

Over time I have wondered if there are answers... Do people stop changing?... When do we stop changing?

Do you recall what life was like when you were younger?
(Photo: Salmonberry, Ketchikan, Alaska - Larry Gardepie)

The only hints I have noticed come in the form of Choice:

• Change can be forced upon us... so we have a choice in how we respond.
• Change can stimulate us... we have a choice in how much change to seek out.
• Change is always present... choice allows us to accept its inevitability.

In these, and so many instances, choice seems to be the constant.

Where do you blossom?
(Photo:  Wild Blue Flax, Juneau's Salmon Creek
- Larry Gardepie)

Besides choice, there are other Life Ingredients that nurture us and encourage us to grow.  (Think of family, faith, and fun.)  When taken out of certain environments, we may not do as well.  Again, there is a choice of noticing who and what encourages us to blossom and flourish... and then seek out these people and places that support and inspire potential.

It may even mean being challenged by situations we don't like!  Remember... we have a choice in how we respond!

When do you feel at peace?
(Photo: Alaskan Lupine and Kenai Peninsula
Mountain Range - Larry Gardepie)

This week I have been in touch with four friends who are in different stages of health issues challenging their concepts of life, mortality, death... and change.  Their Life Reviews have centered on personal growth, potential, and loss.  Each struggle eventually has been visited by Peace:  not a decision to stop change, but a choice and a surrender to accept Life on its terms... not theirs.

I wonder what my GPQ is or will be?  Can I respond in a healthy way to the changes that are already occurring?  Will I reach a peaceful resolution that change happens to all of us... all the time?

 

Keep changing!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

Backstreets of Life

Every once in awhile I have flashbacks of being a teenager.  Yikes!  The newfound freedom... with "parental guidance" (or restrictions!), of course... sports idols... friendships continuing from childhood mixed with expanding social networks... and the peer pressure!  If you stood out, you WANTED to stand out as a trend setter!

Exploration was important, but was oftentimes directed by counselors, youth leaders, and the general framework of cultural norms and societal values.

Do we notice what is hidden?
(Photo: Ketchikan Alley - Larry Gardepie)

People tended to stay on the "Main Streets of Life"... what was known and acceptable for that time.  As I have traveled through my adult years, I have noticed that many tourists stay in the safe touristy locations... oftentimes overcrowding and limiting what can be done, buying the same clothing and trinkets, and coming home with similar stories.

The adventure for me right now is noticing the color and beauty of the Alleyways of Life, those hidden areas we all have where wishes, dreams, and other treasures exist.

Are we willing to explore the road less traveled?
(Photo:  Juneau Lane - Larry Gardepie)

Now don't get me wrong!  I believe that both Main Streets and Alleyways are important!  Both provide the thoroughfares and shortcuts that get us where we want to go in life.  One does not negate the other.

Rather, there is a question for us to consider:  when the time is right for us, are we willing to explore the Road Less Traveled, beautifully phrased and imaged in the Bible and Robert Frost's poem?

Can we see the beauty in different ways of living?
(Photo:  Historic Creek Street, Ketchikan - Larry Gardepie)

The Gift of Exploration opens us to new Ways of Thinking and new Ways of Being.  We return from our Self-Adventures with different perspectives to share with friends and colleagues.  Our souvenir-gathering of images, objects, and memories invites us to consider how expansive Life is and how people have changed and adapted to their surroundings.

The question is:  Can I...?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Conjuring Words

Have you ever come across a male peacock?  You may recall its screech or call to its mate, and, if lucky, you may have seen its display of iridescent feathers fanned out?  Have you seen the simple petal structure of plumeria flowers or smelled their fragrance wafting on the breeze?  If you live in or have visited tropical climates, have you witnessed tall palm trees swaying in the gentle trade winds?

If so, the words peacock, plumeria, and palm trees may conjure up certain memories, images, sounds, and smells.

When do you experience beauty?
(Photo: Peacock in full display - Larry Gardepie)

Words not only convey meaning or help us describe abstract thoughts, but they also become building blocks that create bridges -- or walls -- in our relationships.  That is why our vocabulary, what we discuss, and our ability to dialogue with others is so important.

With or without knowing it, we may use a word or two which brings forth images, memories, and emotions we weren't expecting.

Do our words open up relationships?
(Photo: Fragrant Hawaiian Plumeria - Larry Gardepie)

What then do we do when the unexpected happens?  Do we ask questions and seek to understand?  Should we wait and let things settle?  Or maybe step back and reflect on what happened and the words used?

If we choose, our task -- and invitation -- is to notice the beauty and fragrance of relationships... and to sway when the breezes test us.

Can you sway when friendships are tested?
(Photo: Swaying Palm Trees - Larry Gardepie)

The skills -- and timing -- of when to ask questions, seek understanding, wait and let things settle, and reflect can be practiced every day.

What words conjure up memories, images, sounds, and smells for you?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

From Above

Perspective is important.  That is, how we look at a person or an object depends on where we are standing, what we notice from that position, and the conclusions we make.  It is the relationship between where I am in that moment... and The Other.

These thoughts were going through my mind on a recent flight home.  The cloud formations changed very dramatically over time and the distance I was flying.  At one point, the clouds were thick and foreboding; later on they were cotton-candy puffy; then they became stratified and separated where I could see water and land below.

What do you see right now?
(Photo: Cloud Formations - Larry Gardepie)

Time, distance, and other conditions changed what I was seeing and experiencing.  If I were asked to describe what was visible, it would depend... perspectives can change!

Last month I posted a blog, Untapped Re's (click on link to read the earlier reflection).  It contained a photo I took at Pacific Grove:  I was reminiscing about my childhood and a recent visit to Salinas and Monterey Bay.  Then, I came across the following aerial view of the Pacific Grove coastline:  I had never seen the Purple Carpet from above... a Perspective Unknown before this chance encounter!

What perspectives are unknown to you?
(Photo credit: Purple Carpet,
Pacific Grove, CA - Facebook)

In a similar experience, I was on a 7-hour sailing excursion along Kauai's western coast.  The ship's captain stayed close to shore to minimize the rocking and rolling of our vessel.  She described the Na Pali Coast, its history and culture, its sacredness to the Hawaiian people.  We were taken back in time, introduced to a different way of living.

During the return trip, the captain navigated us farther away from the coast.  The heights of the cliffs, the colors and shadows, and the expansiveness of what we were seeing took on new and more spectacular dimensions -- further away from our earlier and limited land-views!

Do you pull back to see a larger view?
(Photo: Na Pali Coast, Kauai - Larry Gardepie)

Aerial views and unsimilar perspectives invite us to consider:

• Are we forgiving in our thoughts when a new perspective is revealed?
• Do we hold tightly to our conclusions and miss opportunities to see differently?
• Can we rise above or step back to see from another vantage point?

May this week provide situations where we can question long-held beliefs and hold-lightly to the possibility that Truth is revealing itself anew. 

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

A Maze of Dead Ends

Do you enjoy puzzles and word games?  I do!  The process of thinking through a number of possible solutions and narrowing down to one answer is stimulating.  So many possibilities... but why can ONLY ONE be Right?!

There are so many ways to to be challenged these days:  online games and jigsaw puzzle apps; books of word searches, crosswords, Sudoku, and acrostic brainteasers; TV shows that pit contestants against one another... and the list goes on, especially when we look at our day-to-day lives!

Do you see a world of possibilities?
(Photo credit:  Chirag Upreti - NASA)

Once, when traveling in southeast England, a friend and I attempted to walk through a life-size hedge maze.  The problem?  We almost missed our train because we couldn't find the maze's exit!  Dead ends prevented us from finding the Right Way out!  Yelling over the hedge walls didn't help... fellow mazers were just as lost as we were!

Reflecting on other dead ends in my life, I haven't been as frantic.  Similar to working out a solution in a puzzle or word game, I notice the obstacle or dead end, step back, retrace my steps, and consider another way out of the situation.  (It helps not to be rushed for time!)

How do dead ends help you?
(Photo credit:  Couple Creates 7-foot-high Maze in Their
Backyard with Only One Way Out - New York Post)

It sometimes helps to be able to "phone a friend," "ask the audience" or have some of the options removed.  In fact, like mazes and puzzles, dead ends and multiple answers sometimes slow us down and invite us to consider another way to move forward.

Is this what we do with our assumptions and conclusions about other people?  When they exhibit behavior we weren't expecting or when our conclusions don't match the outcome, do we step back and reconsider what we were thinking?

What life signs keep you safe?
(Photo credit:  California DMV Road Side Test Video)

The gift of puzzles and games is when we are a-mazed at the end result:

• What we learned about ourselves;
• How the dead ends helped us; and,
  
• Were we willing to ask for help?

I hope that you enjoy the challenges of this next week... treating each dead end as a way to step back, seek help, and learn.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Being on Auto-Drive

Several weeks ago, Darcy -- a Dialogue colleague -- and I were talking about the technology behind the newest auto-drive cars.  We were wondering how the cars would be programmed:  that is, how strictly would the current driving laws and practices be programmed?  Think:  speed limits; when and how to pass another car; the distance required for turn signals to be used; watching out for motorcycles and bicycles...

Observing my current driving practices and those of others, there are countless assumptions we make as we anticipate what others might do... and we may have become sloppy in not using turn signals in every situation and (occasionally) driving above the speed limit!

When are you on autopilot?
(Photo credit:  Self-driving Cars - The Technology,
Risks and Possibilities - Harvard Science in the News)

What "common assumptions" do you think should be programmed?  Do you assume that others would agree with your list?  What happens if the automated car is programmed a way that you might disagree?  When will you use auto-drive, and how often will you take control to do it your way?

In a similar fashion, we are relying more on technology to help us navigate through our daily lives.  Think: smart devices that remind us of appointments; direct us to our next destination; turn on our lights, heat or air conditioning before we arrive at our homes.

In what ways do we cause chaos?
(Photo credit:  If You Look at Your Phone While
Walking, You're an Agent of Chaos - New York Times)

There are studies that show our reliance on these devices isn't necessarily simplifying our lives.  In fact, sometimes while using advanced technology, we go on autopilot... which creates chaos.  Think: the number of times you drive or walk while using your phones (texting, reading emails, looking up directions, listening to podcasts).

So, what do we do about our assumptions and being on autopilot or using technology that is pre-programmed with common assumptions that may not be common?

How are you present to others?
(Photo credit:  Top 10 Networking and
Conversation Tips - Shepa Learning Company)

You may have other ideas, but maybe we can:

• Pay attention to our assumptions.
  
• Notice when we are distracted.
• Become more present to the people around us.

If we slow down and signal what we are thinking, feeling, assuming, or concluding, we may find that others have differing ideas.  Coming off of autopilot provides choices in how to interact.

What do you think?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Fleeting Moments

Have you experienced moments of pure joy or happiness... when everything seems beautiful and Just Right?  You want to stop time, stay in that moment, and savor the joy, happiness, and beauty.

One of my friend's repeated phrases is "Life is Good!"  That phrase crossed my mind as I climbed aboard the Mexican Navy's training vessel, Cuauhtemoc ("one who has descended like and eagle").  San Diego was the first stop for the crew of 261 officers and cadets as it began its round-the-world ambassadorial journey of friendship and outreach.

When do you reach out in friendship?
(Photo: ARM Cuauhtemoc, Mexican Navy
training vessel visiting San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

When we arrived at the Embarcadero, long lines of San Diegans were waiting to tour this tall ship.  Officers and crew were located throughout the ship welcoming us and answering our questions in English and Spanish.  You could sense the pride and excitement -- both from sailors and tourists -- about this beautiful boat.

Time stood still on this warm and sunny day -- imagining centuries of sailing similar vessels across the waters... exploring, trading, and encountering new peoples.  I felt connected across time and cultures!

What moments have surprised you -- where you stopped and marveled?
(Photo: Deer at Asilomar, Pacific Grove, CA - Larry Gardepie)

I began to reflect on this technology-driven world -- so different from this sailing vessel:  though we can be connected in a fraction of a minute with news, posts, and texts, in many ways we are no longer really Connected -- united or linked -- with Nature, with one another, or with what is important about Life.  Ideologies separate us, and we are distracted by our smart devices, sound bites, and overburdened schedules and responsibilities.

It takes these "Life is Good" moments to remind us of our shared humanity, our fragile mortality, and our real connections -- relationships of beauty, friendship, and welcoming.

Can you see the fragile nature of this moment in time?
(Photo: Soap Bubbles Dancing in the Sun - Larry Gardepie)

These fleeting moments remind me of our Sacred Worth and Value -- something we have in common!  These moments also can remind us of the importance of hope:  we can welcome; we can cross barriers and cultures; we can become ambassadors of friendship through outreach and caring.

This week, let us hope for and savor moments of fleeting joy, happiness, and beauty... and let's share these experiences with others.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Natural Beauty

A friend and I were walking around the neighborhood a few weeks ago and came across a beautiful garden filled with color and an unusual combination of plants.  We pass this house and yard several times a week but, for some reason, the colors stopped us this one day.

We were each drawn to different flowers, but it was my friend who noticed the overall beauty of the whole yard.

Where do you focus your attention?
(Photo:  Neighborhood Flowers - Larry Gardepie)

As we leaned in to look at specific flowers, we became aware of the number of bees that were also attracted to this yard.  They were busy at work while we were Relaxing in the Beauty.

From the smallest purple flowers that projected from the white, fuzzy brushes to the yellow daisies, it was the "naturalness" of the setting that caused us to pause: the flowers and bees were doing what they were supposed to do -- creating and pollinating beauty!  And, it seemed natural for us to stop and take in the beauty!

Do you appreciate the smallest details around you?
(Photo:  Small Purple Flowers - Larry Gardepie)

 As we continued our walk, I wondered about the current state of world affairs:

• Have we lost the beauty?
• Do we notice small acts of kindness?
• Can we pollinate ideas that support future beauty?

This act of noticing and reflecting opened my eyes to individual and combined beauty, the attractions that stimulate and enlarge us as One and Many.

Where do you pollinate beauty?
(Photo:  Busy Bee - Larry Gardepie)

The irony of this situation is that we pass this yard several times a week and had not noticed the individual and combined beauty.  Together, we noticed.  Together, we shared our awareness.  Together, we walked away changed... caught in the naturalness of life.

 

A challenge for us this week might be to notice and pollinate beauty -- alone and with others... naturally!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Rebuilding Who We Are

How far back do you know about your family tree?  Do you recall stories told by your parents and grandparents... and great grandparents?

When my parents moved our family from Iowa to California, the nearest relatives to our town were in the San Francisco Bay Area and Arizona.  We did what we could to stay in touch: expensive long-distance phone calls on birthdays and major holidays; periodic vacations to Iowa; and a weekend trip to visit our closest aunts and uncles.

As a child, the calls seemed too short and the trips were too long!

Who are you connected with?
(Photo: Family Tree - Larry Gardepie)

Though Family Connection was important, our church, school, and neighborhood communities were just as important!  Knowing that people could rely on you -- and that you could rely on them -- were social building blocks that provided stability and safety.

Recently, people down the street moved, the house was sold, and the new owners began removing the roof, walls, and landscaping.  Over time new foundations have been laid and the rebuilding process has begun.  We don't know their final plans.  Rather, we must wait and see what is revealed.

What social supports have you built?
(Photo: Renovation Project - Larry Gardepie)

Life provides many opportunities for us to get to know others, form friendships, and create a Chosen Family.  And, there are times when people leave us -- growing up, moving away, and passing on.  We must be ready to say good-bye and slowly rebuild.

For me, it's the waiting that is difficult:  waiting my turn among six children to talk to Grandma and Grandpa; asking "Are we there yet?" on the 3-day road trips to Iowa; holding back judgment when anticipating the neighbor's plans.

How do others see you?
(Photo: House in Coronado, California - Larry Gardepie

I want the connections to be fast, perfect, and permanent... and if I am honest, unchanging!  But, that may not be real!

This week, as I walk by the House-Being-Rebuilt, I will ponder how to practice patience in my connections... allowing friendships and foundations to settle... before I consider Who We Are and Who We Are Becoming. 

Please join me on this rebuilding project!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Curiously Exploring

Have you ever wondered how your childhood has influenced your adulthood?  I grew up in the era of TV programs like "Gilligan's Island," "Brady Bunch," and "Star Trek" (the original series).  Then came the "The Carol Burnett Show," "The Mary Tyler More Show," "The Love Boat," and "All in the Family."  See any changes in how life presented itself to a young TV viewer?

Whether you grew up in this same period or before or after, certain images, quotes, and theme songs probably draw you back to your earlier self.

Let's get lost in a few of these memories!

Do you remember when you were curious about life?
(Photo credit: Curious About Curiosity?
Professor Studies How Children Learn, UVAToday)

For instance:

• What did "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" mean?  (Everything centers around Marcia!)
• What was the Skipper's affectionate name for Gilligan?  ("Little Buddy")
• Do you recall the name of Mary Tyler More's theme song?  ("Love is All Around")

Just think of how these messages affected many of us: we didn't need to be the center of attention, and love and friendship were important even when there are disagreements.

How do you envision your universe?
(Photo credit: Carina Nebula, NASA's Webb Space Telescope)

 
Star Trek taught us to explore, seek out, and boldly go where no one had gone before.  And, it introduced us to Vulcan's IDIC philosophy ("Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations") and "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" -- or as Captain Kirk would reply, "Or the one."

 

These messages merged with our innate sense of curiosity:  we wanted to explore, accept, and put others first.

Are you willing to explore the depths of yourself and others?
(Photo credit: Ocean Exploration - Technology, National Geographic)

Why am I reliving childhood memories and messages?  I was working with members of a leadership team this past week.  As I listened to their struggles and challenges, I noticed that I was curious about how organizational structure and norms had overridden messages common to many of our childhoods:  sharing, caring, and listening.

 

 For this week, maybe we could return to the images, quotes, and theme songs that spoke to us as children... of friendship, love, and attention... and explore curiously where no one has gone before?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Blindness: A Human Condition

Have you ever sat with your doctor or optometrist and taken a color blindness test?  For me, the first time was at our family doctor's office when I was a child.  I was asked to identify the numbers hidden in several colored circles.

Being a person who likes challenges and wanted to pass the test, I hurried through each card.  The doctor didn't give any feedback, and I began to wonder and second guess myself:

• Did I miss something?
• Could I have misunderstood or made a mistake?
• Maybe I hurried through and didn't pay attention?
  

What's wrong with me?  Is the doctor trying to trick me?

What do you see (or not see)?
(Photo credit: Color Vision Deficiency
- American Optometric Association)

Color blindness does run through my family, but I eventually found out that I saw colors within the normal spectrum.  This childhood experience, though, fascinated me:

• The need for feedback and approval;
• The self-doubt and questioning;
• The desire to be normal and accepted; and,
  
• The quickness in blaming or suspecting someone else.
  

How many of us can identify?

Do we notice our own blindness?
(Photo credit: Color Blindness - Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments
- Prasad Netralaya)

What I have noticed over the years:  there are many different types of blindness that we may struggle with -- color blindness; congenital blindness; night vision; macular degeneration; central vision loss...

 

And, if we are honest with ourselves, there are several forms of cultural, ethical and spiritual blindnesses that limit how we see and experience this beautiful world.

Are we willing to notice and accept our limitations?
(Photo credit:  Cultural Blindness - Definitions, Examples,
Pros, Cons - HelpfulProfessor.com)

Blindness is an inability to see; an unwillingness to perceive or understand; and, sometimes, it is a lack of judgment or ignorance.  Blindness is a human condition that we all experience in some form.

 

This is where we need one another: for feedback and affirmation; correction and treatment; support and carrying... and to slow down blaming the other person for our own limitations.

 

What blindness or limitation will you notice and explore this week?

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)