In This Together

Some days I want to be with people, and other days I enjoy my Alone Time.  I assume that we all feel this kind of human tension:  we are individuals... but... we are also social beings.  It's that daily struggle of wanting to be independent... but... realizing how much of our world requires us to be interdependent.  In fact, our survival sometimes rests on accepting this duality of human existence:  we are unique... but...  we have so much in common.

I liken it to a rubber band that needs to stretch in order to be used or useful... but... in its natural state, it returns to a relaxed state of being.

How often do you feel connected or disconnected?
(Photo: Clarion Alley Mural Project,
San Francisco - Larry Gardepie)

Is it as simple as some personality assessment tools describe: we tend towards being Extroverted or Introverted -- that is, we gain and move toward energy which supports our external or internal interactions?

I think it may have more to do with the conversion or transformation that takes place in us as we move from:

• Childhood - being dependent on our parents and family; through
• Adulthood - becoming independent by focusing on our own resources and what we contribute, to a state of
• Wisdom and Maturity - understanding that our journey is like a Nurse's Log - as we grow older and decay we provide nourishment to others - we become interdependent.

The whole life cycle is important!  No one stage is better than the other... but... it is the awareness that we are here for others that connects each of these stages.  We are in this together whether we like it or not!

How do you nurture others?
(Photo:  Nurse Log, Capilano Suspension Bridge Park,
British Columbia, Canada - Larry Gardepie)

The elasticity of our lives is dependent on gathering, connecting, structuring, and changing.  As Monday Morning Quarterbacks, we can sit back and posture about how our team could have performed better the day before.  Criticism or cynicism may feed some of this reflective process... but... what is important is what we learned and how we improved our ways of thinking:  that is, what could we have done differently?

So too are our thoughts and opinions about our elected officials or government structures.  The elasticity of thought allows us to criticize... but... I would suggest, only if we are willing to engage in fruitful dialogue that improves the state of individual and societal needs.  Listening, understanding, accepting, and changing become the ways that we can nourish and nurture future possibilities.

What do you think of our political leaders: them or us?
(Photo:  San Francisco City Hall - Larry Gardepie)

As we go through this midterm election cycle, it may be prudent for us to reflect on whether our contributions are focused more on individual (self-interests and a specific political party) or social good (what is needed to move beyond).  This is not a sports game where the winning or losing statistics are forgotten in a few months. If we are in this together, the long-term game plan must include everyone.

May we consider that we are in this together.  May we look toward our common humanity and our daily tensions of stretching and relaxing.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

 

Clouds and Water: This Too Shall Pass

Have you  ever noticed how beautiful and varied clouds are: bright and fluffy; wispy and misty; dark and menacing?  Clouds and our atmosphere seem to share or reflect our moods!

As children, we would look for shapes of animals or people that we recognized.  Time passed... and we paid less attention: the shapes changed; our experiences diversified; and we focused on other interests.

What do you see in today's clouds?
(Photo:  Sunset at Sea - Larry Gardepie)

Now, years later, we look at clouds and weather much differently:  harbingers of a storm on the horizon; forecasts of what tomorrow will bring; tools to plan trips and outings.  Rather than seeing what the clouds are revealing to us in the moment, we are attempting to adjust our schedules or events around good or bad weather patterns.  We have placed values or made judgements and decisions on how we read the situation.

Moving from clouds to water, I wonder about the nurturing cycle of droplets that amass in clouds and rivers... that passage of time when thoughts are condensed and held suspended or rained down and gathered in movement and change.

Do you hold onto the past or worry about the future?
(Photo:  Gullfoss Waterfall, Iceland - Larry Gardepie)

I have learned that the passing of time is conveyed by both.  "Get your head out of the clouds" or "Much water has passed under that bridge," my friends would tell me, as I would reflect on, relive or try to understand something that happened in the past.

As I grow older and return to cloud-watching, I notice a calmness as I slip back into the present:

• The beauty of our world;
• The mystery of other people; and,
  
• The awe of life and the diversity of ideas and ways of being

 

When did you last look at the world or
a person in wonder and awe?
(Photo:  Sunrise at Sea - Larry Gardepie)

Maybe we can take a portion of each day and recapture the wonder of childhood... by staying in the present... seeking wisps of Ideas Shared... and pausing for a movement into Presence Changed.  Rather than live in rivers of energy that move us through anxiety rapids or emotions flooded and out of control, maybe we can see life for what it is... beautiful creations of imagination, wonder, and change.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

Disturb: To Stop Or Hinder

Disturbing is my word of the day!  Reading or watching the news... listening to people as they describe their COVID experiences... wondering about our future together...Disturbing!

In addition, I have been watching the Ken Burn's documentary, The U.S. and the Holocaust.  Watching and listening to the world of the 1930s and 1940s and comparing to the language and actions of today... Disturbing!

Do you expect or want others to agree with you?
~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~
(Photo credit:  Blondie, Dean Young and John Marshall,
February 6, 2021)

It seem that our human intellect can rationalize and protect almost anything... even harm to others.  One redeeming quality that we possess is Choice, that ability to watch, listen and choose another course of action.

I wonder what it will take, though, to motivate us to change our current choices?  If wars, climate change and pandemics can't awaken us to other possibilities, what can?  When will we shift our attention from the events and devices that entertain and distract us from what is Real?

How often do you give undivided attention to others?
~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~
(Photo credit:  Zits, Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman,
November 1, 2020)

As I listen and watch -- even when I interact with others -- I am trying to practice an exercise of asking myself questions:

• Was that an assumption or opinion?
• Is that conclusion closing off dialogue and possibilities?
• Did I just hear facts and data about that person or event? 

Listening more carefully and learning to analyze the information I am absorbing, has helped me to see how many decisions are based on assumptions, opinions, and expectations.  When I slow down and peel away the information and its source, I see reactions and unfounded or untethered messages biased by competing perspectives.

When do you feel empathy for others?
(Photo:  La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain,
Larry Gardepie, 2019)

It is disturbing to realize how much of my life has been on autopilot or reactionary.  Reflecting on these thoughts, I remembered a situation in third grade.  Our teacher, Mrs. Ruby Woodward, was the first Black teacher in our school.  I noticed her skin color, true -- but I loved her look on life and her enthusiasm.  I hadn't absorbed the lessons of discrimination or differences at that point in my life.  One day, as I was opening our classroom door outward, the door hit her young son, Timmy, in the face.  His glasses broke and his forehead began bleeding from the cut he received.

 

I was disturbed that I had hurt someone, especially my favorite teacher's son. After taking her son to the nurse, Mrs. Woodward took me aside and consoled me: explaining how accidents happen; I wasn't to blame; I wouldn't be punished.  What I experienced was kindness, compassion... and that her son had red blood just like mine when I was hurt.

 

In that moment the seeds of empathy were planted, and the knowledge that we can choose to understand, to have compassion, and to be kind.  We can make these choices every day... if we distinguish data and facts from assumptions, opinions, and false conclusions.

 
Through dialogue this week may we stop or hinder disturbing trends and move towards choices of kindness, empathy, and compassion.  May we distinguish what is real as we accept our common humanity.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Beauty and Our Beast

A few weeks ago  we were traveling on the Alaska Railroad from Anchorage to Denali National Park.  The morning began rainy, cloudy, and cold.  Being in the comfort of the domed car we were fed with Beauty Changing at every mile as clouds gave way to fall foliage and clear views of the Denali mountain range.

We were a diverse group of travelers from around the world, wearing masks or not, carrying unknown companions of COVID-19, colds, coughs, biases and misunderstandings.  Locked in our train carriage for 8 hours allowed us to slowly observe, ask questions, and share in the sights unveiled along the way.

How often do you see the beauty around you?
(Photo:  Alaskan landscape, Larry Gardepie 2022)

Yes, we were in our own world -- that of the train car and that of our own making.  But we were sharing Time and Beauty as we discovered together new Frontiers Revealed.  Sitting with these pictures today, I am seeing details that I missed in those few fleeting moments as the train passed the wilderness outside.

A guide narrated where we were and interpreted what we were seeing.  This helped us track on a map how far we had traveled, how far we still needed to go, and the unusual clarity of this Fall day.

As we pass quickly through this life,
are we aware of the changes in ourselves and others?
(Photo: Denali mountain range with fall foliage,
Larry Gardepie 2022)

The Denali mountain range at first was a mystery: were we seeing clouds behind a darker mountain range?  The guide helped our eyes and minds to understand the majestic heights of Denali as it towered over the smaller peaks and rivers below.  With excitement and awe, she explained that many people never see Denali because of the weather it creates and hides behind; that only 30% will see Denali with clouds; and that we were members of the 10% Club, seeing Denali clearly without clouds.

Along our privileged day-long journey, we moved from not seeing... to seeing partially... and then seeing with clarity.

Do we see clearly what is before us?
(Photo:  Denaili mountain range with no clouds,
Larry Gardepie 2022)

I believe Dialogue is similar: when we slow down our fast-paced lives and allow humility and curiosity to guide us, we begin to seek answers to questions that alluded us.  Together, we share where we are and decide where we need to go:

• We move from Beasts Unknown that hide and protect us;
• Through assumptions and opinions that cloud what we see; and,
• Arrive at clarity based on the facts before us.

In other words, sometimes we need to be locked together in the struggles of this world to appreciate Our Beasts and Our Beauty.

May you see the beauty of each person this week as the World's Beasts and Beauty reveals itself.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Separated No More

My mind is clearer when I am out on the water -- being able to release day-to-day tensions and projects unfinished.  A separation occurs between Past and Future, allowing me to focus on the Present -- what I am seeing now while floating along the waterways.

This theme of separation was on my mind as we left Hubbard Glacier and sailed out of Disenchantment Bay recently.  (What a great name for a bay!)

When do you feel separated from others?
(Photo: leaving Disenchantment Bay, Larry Gardepie)

Seeing the opening between two spurs of land that define the bay brought to mind the separation I sometimes feel between people:  great beauty is reflected by what is present but disenchantment defines the gulf that separates years of disengagement.

It takes an object like a bridge or a vessel to ferry people, product, and ideas across lands disconnected.  It may be similar with our own separations: we need ways to Bridge and Create Connection.

How willing are you to connect?
(Photo:  Juneau street, Larry Gardepie)

Walking along the harbor and streets of Juneau, Alaska, I noticed alleys that were actually named streets with stairs that connected the lowlands to the buildings hundreds of feet higher.  I marveled at the energy and ruggedness of citizens that braved the dark, cold winters... having to climb these stairs to get to the warmth of their homes.

So too, I reflected, are the distances we must travel when separated from others due to misunderstandings:  we must put more time and energy in taking the high road to discovery and attachment

Can you see light even in your darkness?
(Photo: full moon over Inside Passage,
Larry Gardepie)

As I reflected on the Present -- acknowledging the tensions and unfinished nature of life, I began to realize that possibilities and opportunities always exist to bridge or carry ideas beyond the barriers that separate.

Sometimes at our darkest moments, a Light persists that invites reflection and illumination.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)