Spring Into -- or -- Spring in Two?

Recently, working in the garden and replanting hanging baskets, I heard a loud buzzing very near.  Thinking it was just another symptom of my life with tinnitus ('a perception of sound when no actual external noise is present'), I was surprised -- and almost fell off the ladder! -- when I noticed a huge swarm of bees circling above the house and a few yards away from me!

With tinnitus, I am learning that I can't always believe what I hear, but this afternoon was a little different!  The buzzing was real!

Group Mind or Hive Mind:
swarming around one way of thinking

With orange trees in our backyard, we are no stranger to swarming bees or the hives that are so quickly created.  On this beautiful Spring afternoon -- with so many sad and tragic stories in the news, my thoughts took an offbeat turn: buzzing distractions, hives, and truth.

For instance, I wonder about the Group Mind that seems to have taken hold around our political and societal polarities.  (The 'group mind' is sometimes referred to as the 'hive mind' which describes individuals linked together with no identity or free will.)  We think the same; we believe the same; and we stand firm against others who might keep us from our goal.

As the bees collectively sought direction, I wondered if the 'buzz' in my head was from tinnitus... or might it be caused by listening only to news sources or friends who think or react like I do?

In recent weeks we have witnessed extreme deliberations and tensions between our political representatives:  listening only to those who act or think the way they do; changing rules rather than seeking relationships that challenge growth and new ideas; going the way of the Majority instead of listening to the Wisdom of the Whole; and seeking Either-Or Solutions rather than desiring more options, a Third Way.  In other words, similar to my situation, has a systemic tinnitus blocked our leaders from hearing beyond their internal buzz?

Spring in Two: sitting together,
listening, and seeing a more expansive view

Spring offers us annual reminders:

• To slow down and notice the new growth and beauty surrounding us.
• To sit with friends, acquaintances, and strangers-no-longer, sharing new vistas.
• To listen and soak in the warmth of developing relationships. 

Spring calls us away from the buzz of noise and distractions and moves us toward voices that respect individual thoughts.  Toward ideas encouraged and shared which will enliven us to think and grow.  Spring challenges us to seek the individual beauty of each flower and at the same time stand in awe at its contribution to the full landscape.

Spring Into: many individual blossoms,
but one landscape

Similarly, Dialogue practiced invites many voices to be heard, contributing to a Collective Consciousness which honors all aspects of the conversation and relationships.  It allows all ideas to be held lightly, with the goal of seeking -- not a majority or a consensus -- but Truth.

Are we ready to Spring Into this week?  Can we slow down first and Spring in Two relationships that value diverse thoughts and a wider vista of solutions?

Questions to consider

• How will I seek the beauty in each person encountered?
• Can I sit with each person and hear the Truth Revealed?
• Where can I sense the warmth of coming together: conscious of Individual and One?

May we learn about and celebrate the many holy days and traditions of our diverse religions and cultures this season!  May we seek solutions that honor us all!  Blessings this Spring!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Spring: A Time of Action, Wonder, and Awaiting

Do you remember as a child the wonder of planting a seed and watching the dirt, waiting for  Life to poke its head above ground?  I've had that fascination all of my life!  And now that I am older, in late February of every year, we plant tiny seeds in peat pots, keeping them warm and watered in the house, waiting for the first signs of Spring sunshine and warmth before transplanting the young seedlings outdoors.  It is a ritual of hope, a sign of growth, and an expectation of future harvest.  Action.  Wonder.  Waiting.

The transition from Winter to Spring seems to draw on an inner desire or energy to awaken from dark and  silent months and move outward into a World Aroused.  Consider some of the seasonal phrases we use:  Spring cleaning... Spring into action... Spring forward... Spring fever.  These seem to draw on images of Action!

Springtime activity:  preparing seedlings

Spring is a time of activity: the bursting forth of new life; the wonder of growth in unexpected places; the renewed discovery of color and brightness.  As we grow older and have lived through these transitions many times, I wonder if  the newness and wonder have worn off?  In fact, instead of being present to this wonderful season, do we sometimes overlook the new growth and color surrounding us and anticipate the warm Summer months and the harvests Fall will bring?  How often do we actively look ahead... instead of Being Present to the Moment we are inhabiting?

What would happen this Spring if we were to slow down and recapture the wonder and joy of the awakening world?  Would we reclaim the childlike excitement of seeing baby leaves emerging from crusty bark or dark soil, and realize that we too can move beyond our hurried brusqueness and re-experience the newness and growth in unexpected ways?  Spring invites us to recall Wonder!

Springtime wonder:  seeing anew

As a friend and I were walking around our neighborhood recently, we noticed the flowering plants and trees that were erupting in color.  After years of drought, the abundance of this winter's rain transformed once thirsty and barren yards into colorfully painted portraits we had forgotten.  The years of rationing water renewed an appreciation for the display arrayed around us.  It was not a time to anticipate or worry about the future: it was a time of Noticing and Awaiting!

Springtime awaiting: being present to Beauty

I have found that Dialogue also exhibits these springtime elements of Action, Wonder, and A-Waiting.  Let me share a few questions I have been pondering this past week:

• How do I know when my Dialogue practice is too full of Action?
• Where could I allow a sense of Wonder or Curiosity to develop?
• How might I slow down and Await Mystery to be revealed?

This Spring I have been learning that beauty emerges when these elements of Action, Wonder and Awaiting are balanced.  And, when balanced, Dialogue awakens us to a Real Emergence of Self and Other!  Dialogue becomes a call to look outward and beyond Self, poking our head and heart out of the dark, fertile soil of Self to see Another World beckoning. 

If we focus only on the new growth within and forget to look up and around, we may miss the complete picture:  becoming totally AWARE that I cannot be Whole without You.

• Action
• Wonder
• Awaiting
• Real
• Emergence

Spring: A Time to Look Beyond Self

May these Spring days allow us to dialogue in ways that plant seeds of discovery and to await patiently the Wonder that will emerge!

Larry Gardepie

Ourstory: Lessons from the Silly Strings of Life

As a child growing up, there were many ways to interact with my neighborhood friends... and to learn some of life's lessons along the way...

• Kick the Can - seeking to be winners
• Members Only Clubs - identifying who was In and who was Out
• Building Forts - imagining adventure and protecting what is important
• Hide and Seek - learning when to be invisible and how to find the hidden
• Capture the Flag - working to become a Team
• Tag - deciding who was 'It'
• Red Light / Green Light - paying attention to signals given 

These, and many other outdoor activities, tested our young bodies, our spirits, and our imagination.  They helped us expend an overabundance of energy, and kept us occupied and out of our parents' hair!

But, did you ever play with Silly String?  And, did you know that Silly String was an accidental invention?  This concoction that propels a plastic 'string' from an aerosol can at many parties and weddings was intended to be a 'foamable resinous composition' to create an instant cast for a broken/sprained leg or arm. 

Think about this the next time you're engaged in a mock battle as the various colored strings intersect in the air and create layered rainbows on the objects where they land.  Silly String's original purpose was to heal.  It does this -- okay, maybe not in the way it was intended!  Consider the laughter, good humor, and smiles that erupt when colorful strings dance and cross from one person to another!

Mock Battles: laughter, color, and silliness fill the air
(Click link to read about the History of Silly String)

As with any game, challenge, or mock battle, there is an ending and a time to clean up.  With Silly String, the clean up can sometimes be daunting:  the dried strands of string sticks to the objects, breaks apart, and flies away in the wind.  Sometimes, it resembles the muddiness of Life: those times when relationships have bumps and motives are questioned.

I wonder about Ourstory ('Our Story') - the collection of events, interactions, conversations, and disagreements that crisscross our lives.  Oftentimes, the patterns are beautiful; sometimes, we become entangled in a mess of misunderstanding.  Even an intended  playful comment can land flat, sticking or flying away with unintended consequences that are hard to clean up.

Are there instances in your life where Baggage Carried no longer seems needed and helpful?  Maybe hurtful memories seem to stick, weigh you down, and are no longer colorful?

Silly String:  Self Portrait  (Andrew Crooks Art)

As I continue to practice the Dynamic Dialogue stances:

• [Awareness]  I notice that I might not be able to unravel the stories I have created, heard, or passed along.
• [Compassion]  With the responsibility of identifying and owning these stories, I hold lightly the damage I might have caused myself and others.
• [Interdependence]  We become interconnected when we listen and try to understand one another.
• [Creative Freedom]  We have opportunities to respond in new and exciting ways.

In other words, the mess we have created with the silly string of events interwoven in Ourstory, is not the end. 

We may not be able to unravel or clean up the past.  Rather, we are invited to clear out one  small area for Conscious, Sacred, Creative Togetherness.  Silly String engagements may still come at us, but we have a choice in how to participate and learn.  I believe it is time to learn to play anew!

Silly String Madness (GentleRainInBlue)

Questions to consider this week:

• What games did you play as a child?
• Which ones were favorites?  Which ones did you dislike?  Why?
• What lessons carry forward in your life right now?

May we anticipate encounters with Loved Ones, Colleagues, and Friends this week -- enjoying the healing intertwining of Lives and the Colorfulness we add to one another!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting

A Tribute: Honoring Those Who Listen and Guide

"Do you really believe what you just said?"  That was the question Scott posed to me following the first supervisory training session that I co-facilitated.  Responding that I believed in this new approach to supervision, Scott said, "Let's make it happen!"  Sometimes it takes a question to move us forward -- from appearance and words to heart-inspired action.  Sometimes it takes a coworker or friend to listen, challenge, and encourage.

Attending Scott's memorial service this weekend, I have been wondering about how my life  has changed due to well-timed questions offered by colleagues, friends and loved ones.  Scott's question was asked over twenty years ago, yet my journey of Making It Happen continues to unfold and change my life.  Unlike earlier, I am now aware that I must listen... and answer... from the heart.

A Tribute to Those Who Listen

Listening to the life stories from Scott's family and friends, I realize how little I actually knew  Scott.  Twenty years ago I experienced him in his role as a departmental assistant director as filtered through my role as human resources assistant director.  Over time we became friends, sharing meals together, and co-training several times.  But his life stories revealed that he was so much more!

It seems that our various roles and responsibilities restrict us to viewing limited facets of the Whole.   In other words,  as we pass through these lives, we may come to understand only a fraction of what others think and feel.  New questions begin to emerge:  "Who are you?" and "What lives on?"

A Tribute to the Varied Paths We Take

Depending upon upbringing, faith or spiritual journeys, and so many other aspects of our belief systems, our understanding of Life -- and Death -- may be quite different and individual.  Just consider the second question...  what lives on:

• After a Loved One dies?
• At the end of each day?
• When we leave a meeting or interaction with others?

What lives, and what dies?  What is important to remember, and what will we pass along?  These ponderings and questions now merge into a question --  "Who are you that I want to live on in me?" -- and a statement -- "I want who you are to live on in me."

A Tribute to Those Who Encourage
and Journey with Us

Scott's passing through my life brings to mind two wonderful images:

• We are a tapestry of many threads woven together to create a colorful portrait greater than any single one-color thread.
• We are involved in a friendly paintball game, where we each splash the other with the primary colors of our lives; and we are forever changed as we are touched by and take on another participant's colorful life!

Each image suggests that I have an opportunity to die to my mono-chromed SCRs (Socially Constructed Realities) and belief systems and live on in a transformed technicolored landscape of Us.  The beliefs and stories we know and hold onto begin to change because of the vulnerability to ask questions, the courage to listen and respond, and the encouragement to believe... in Us.  We become  challenged to go deeper... into the death and life of each moment and each other.

A Tribute to Those who Challenge Us
to Go Deeper

Today, let us consider those people who have guided us thus far in our journey by asking "Who are you that I want to live on in me?" or stating "I want who you are to live on in me."

• Call forth names and memories of mentors and friends who have inspired you.
• Identify the changes in your life drawn forth by these people.
• Acknowledge and pay tribute this week in a way that honors you and them.
  (Examples: journal about or pray for these people; call or send thank yous to them; share the questions and what you have learned.)

May we be thankful for our mentors, colleagues, friends and loved ones -- those whose lives are intertwined with ours!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Questions Within Questions: Where Do We Start?

In a recent meeting, I noticed that I was quieter than normal, listening intently to the questions addressed by colleagues to our supervisor and their subsequent interchange.  I was silent because something was stirring within me:

• I was aware that I too needed answers about the priority, decisions, and direction of our projects, but
• I was experiencing déjà vu - a sense that I had experienced this situation many times before.

I realized later that the noticed familiarity was my continued attempt at ordering my life.  As a former project manager, I sought structure, a way to understand what was needed or expected.

Questions: building a case for structure
-- the balance between order and chaos

I recalled other times when I sought to bring clarity, understanding, and harmony between people.  I was told then that I often asked questions that could not be answered at that moment, and that my need for structure and harmony -- taking unrelated bits of information and adding meaning by bringing them together -- could block or become a barrier for others.  My focus on A Question, seeking The Answer, or the other person's inability to answer might be at the expense of the relationship.

Questions:  building a case for harmony
- the gracefulness of when to Lead and Follow

What I have been learning from our Dialogue Practice is the art of asking questions... and, just as importantly, asking at the appropriate time!  It seems that the elements of curiosity and discovery are key to the question being asked -- unlocking the actual question or answer and opening the door to what is beyond.

Example:  in the past, I have experienced My Question (seeking clarity) as separate from Your Answer (adding a dimension that I did not expect).  But now, I am learning that The Journey of searching for the Question-within-the-Question illuminates the path of intention and motivation behind the question... and brings us together for the next question and answer.  We walk through the doorway together!

Questions: building a case to see within
- the ability to discover the Whole

As we continue on our unpredictable journey of discoverability, let us consider the following:

• Why am I asking this question of another person?
• Where does this question fall within the continuum of our relationship?
• What happens if I hear answers different than what I expected or wanted to hear?
• How might I hold lightly the question, the answers, the relationship, and the journey?
• What next? 

May this next week provide us many opportunities to experience the 'What Next?' of our journey -- through the questions we ask; the answers we give; and the ability to discover... the Truth to be Revealed... in Us!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting