Dialogue Journeys: Paths to New Destinations

Recently I was on a vintage (aka, restored, old) train from Williams, Arizona, to the Grand Canyon.  Two hours to relax... to view beautiful but arid desert scenery... and to slow down and reflect on progress.

Just consider travel over the past 200-plus years:  people journeyed by foot, animal, carriages, carts and wagons... progressing to ships, trains, cars, and airplanes.  Some are suggesting that space travel will soon be open to more people within the next few decades.

At times I wonder whether there is an equivalent evolution in our relationships or our inner journey of discovery.  As we move physically faster, how are we developing as social beings?

Dialogue Journeys:  Is truth always straight and narrow?

I know there are times in my life when I expect the road to be smooth and straightforward: the need to be right or to have my understandings validated sometimes overrules what I see or hear from others.  How real is this approach to life, though, if I want to remain in healthy relationships?

Don't you find sometimes that things don't happen as planned?  There always seems to be a curve in the road, veering off toward a destination unseen.

Dialogue Journeys:  How do I respond when I cannot see ahead?

I find that my thoughts and emotions sometimes get in the way:

• I seek a Straight and Narrow path.
• I desire to learn the Right Way.
• I want to define the One Truth.

And, I expect you to follow!  Sadly, there are times when I don't see the whole network of tracks laid out which allow others to journey in different or opposite directions than the path I have chosen.

Dialogue is a process of describing what we see or experience, inviting others to share their perspectives, and listening deeply to the truths that are being revealed.  It is the realization that the Right of Way shifts back and forth as we learn to slow down, move over to a side track, and wait for others to pass in the direction of their destination.  It is the realization that we don't all have to be on the same journey going the same way.

Dialogue Journey:  Am I comfortable ceding
to others the Right of Way?

Allowing time to slow down and activate the switch that will alter our direction means that we will cede (surrender) to others.  This can be a vulnerable place to be: parked alongside... waiting.  But think of the alternative!  Do we want to be on the same track of an oncoming train -- or -- in the path of a friend who has an opposing view?  Just think of the destruction when we don't slow down and switch to a more dialogical stance!

Our journey may become more unpredictable when we switch to a side track or take another approach.  We won't know the outcome, but we will experience new scenery and will eventually see beyond the curve.

We have a choice: stay on a course that will get us to a planned destination faster; move off the main tracks to consider other options that may be equally valid; seek paths where outcomes are unknown.  All of these are viable paths on our journeys and can be adjusted as we encounter course changes along the way.

Blessings on all of your dialogue journeys this week!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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