Dirty Windows

How many of you like to clean windows?  As a child, my siblings and I were each assigned various chores.  I had to be in the right mood for windows!

If I had the time and was bored, cleaning the windows filled the time and could be fun... creating designs with the window cleaner and challenging myself to have streak-free windows.  If I was in a rush, windows were frustrating... no matter how careful, each wipe often seemed to create more streaks!

What do you see?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pickles, Brian Crane, 12/29/24)

Then there were the Couch-Coaches (or Know-It-Alls) offering semi-helpful suggestions:  "You need to use vinegar and newspaper"; "I wouldn't use that cleaner"; "You missed a spot. Can't you see it?".

Dirty windows... I wonder if there is an existential reason for them?

How often do you see beyond the dirt?
(Photo: deck chairs through dirty window - Larry Gardepie)

Maybe the lesson in dirty windows is what Opal realized in the Pickles comic strip (above): what we see and assume about others may not be accurate!  That is, we need to "Never Mind" the judgments we make about other people. 

Rather than internalize these assumptions, it is important to name them -- say them out loud -- and then check to see if they are accurate.  This is where Earl came in:  he cleaned the window... without being a Couch-Coach.

Are there other ways to see beyond the dirt?
(Photo: Copper River window prisms - Larry Gardepie)

As we talk with and listen to others, it is important that we distinguish between facts, opinions, and conclusions.  The assumptions we so easily make are similar to the dirt on the window: it distracts us; it keeps us from seeing what is beyond the dirt and the streaks.

Checking out our assumptions -- without judgment -- allows us to clear up or peel away the layers of misinformation that we have accumulated over time.

Are you in the mood to clean some windows this week?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Revelations

A few years ago, I read a book written by Oprah WInfrey, What I Know for Sure.  She reflected on her life and what she has learned along the way.  Because of her fame, I wondered how different her lessons were from my own.

Let me stick my neck out and share a few things I have learned.

What makes you smile?
(Photo: San Diego Zoo Safari Park - Larry Gardepie)

Life is Good!  This is a phrase a coworker used quite often to describe his experiences of life that day.  For many of us, life is good… but I would add, Life is Better when we think of others and try to make their lives easier.  In other words, my life cannot be good in a vacuum.  We are social beings…. People-in-Relationship, so my life can only be good when yours is as well.  What do you need? May I help?

Where do you find beauty?
(Photo:  Honolulu skyline as seen from the ocean - Larry Gardepie)

Our World is Beautiful!  When I pay attention, I begin to notice the beauty surrounding me: flowers unfolding; insects working; trees breathing; creatures being.  There is a familiarity in what we encounter each day, but there is also mystery when we see our World Anew.  Am I willing to slow down?  Do I anticipate beauty in the world... and in you?

What is good in our world?
(Photo: White Peacock, Isola Bella, Lake Maggiorre, Italy - Larry Gardepie)

People are Good!  As a supervisor responsible for overseeing a department’s effectiveness, the tendency might be to discover what is not working.  I noticed the look on my employees’ faces when I caught a mistake… embarrassment, shame, anger, confusion.  I also felt my own uneasiness. Then I discovered another approach: See the Good — that is, catch people doing a good job, congratulating them on a job well done. In most instances, people want to do what is right — we have to be present and help them notice the difference.  Where have you seen goodness?  How have you supported it?

There are many other lessons I have learned… but I am curious: what have you learned?  Let’s talk about what is good and beautiful!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Hidden Thoughts

Watching a herd of swans in Windsor, England, I noticed they were pressed together, facing the same direction, and waiting for tourists to feed them.  Some stayed calm while the bread was tossed; others were frantically trying to get to the food.  Hunger does that when self-survival is at stake.

This image came to mind as I read today’s news: the struggle for power and the desire for one ideology to dominate another — Self and Survival!

When are you challenged to blend in?
(Photo: Windsor Swans, England - Larry Gardepie)

Another image flashed across my mind:  our elementary and high school need to fit in and be like everyone else…or wanting others to Be Like Me.

Contradictions began stacking up as I reflected on these images:

• When do we truly become individuals… with so much of our commercial and political environments suggesting that we fit in and be like others?
• Can ideas and ideologies coexist… when we are in an endless loop of one way of thinking dominating another?
• Are Self and Survival hardwired… and will Others and their survival be denied?

What do you see from your hidden place?
(Photo: Salzburg, Austria - Larry Gardepie)

Fear surfaces when our language focuses on Us-or-Them. Low awareness tends to build walls to keep others out.  We fight for our survival… not realizing that we may be denying another person their survival.  Does it have to be this way, though?

We remember the schoolyard lessons of competition… Winning-Losing… and we somehow forget the importance of Sharing.

Living in fear requires that we band together, face the same direction, and value like-minded thinking.  Sharing opens us to the possibility that both can exist... and survive!

Is it possible to see beyond your hidden thoughts?
(Photo: Puye Cliff Dwellings, New Mexico - Larry Gardepie)

I wonder where our inner hunger comes from:

• The desire to become an individual with differing views?
• A willingness to accept someone for who they are?
• The need to form a community with varied talents and ideas?

As we move further into this New Year, let’s talk about our fears, seek ways to overcome them, and share our hidden thoughts.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Perspective Matters

As a child, do you remember drawing a picture of your house and your family?  My house was block-ish with its walls and roof but my family members were proportional with my parents taller and each sibling smaller according to their age.  The concept of height and family order seemed to be understood.

Later, in art class, we learned about dimensions and perspective:  drawing an object with various elements larger when closer to us or smaller when farther away.

Are we taught about perspective or do we observe and replicate perspectives?

How do we understand positions further away?
(Photo:  Balboa Park Colonnade, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

I was reflecting on the matter of perspectives when I was walking in Balboa Park a few weeks ago:  the 1915 colonnades provided a multi-dimensional labyrinth of ideas...

• We judge distance by comparing one object against another.
• Objects are in relationship to one another.
• Can the relative worth of one exist without the other?
  

Is this the same for ideas, opinions, and ideologies:  we compare and contrast; they must be in relationship; existence relies on the other?

Can "like" objects be different?
(Photo:  Wrought Iron Fence, Holland Park, London - Larry Gardepie)

As I played with these musings, I looked at both natural and human-constructed elements of our world... like flowers and weeds (both are plants); boundaries and fences (one defines; the other limits); walls and ceilings (support and cover).

A dependency of comparisons exists that support our thoughts and socially constructed realities (SCRs).  That is, what we:

• Like or don't like;
  
• Value or don't value;
• Consider to be true or not.

I wonder... is our sense of Right and Wrong taught or observed?

What is more important: the walls or the ceiling?
(Photo:  Bath Cathedral, England - Larry Gardepie)

As we begin this New Year, it may be helpful to explore another person's perspective.  What matters to me might not matter to that other person!

 

As we compare our different viewpoints, it also might be important to consider our relationships:

• Is this relationship important?
  
• Do we want to stay in relationship?
• How does this relationship provide perspective and depth?

May these days ahead challenge us to grow beyond our earlier blockish understanding and learn or observe how to appreciate other views.

 

Perspective matters!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting