Gooder Than I Thought

I assume I know the answer to the following question... but I thought I would ask:

Do you ever doubt yourself?

I do!  And that's why I wanted to ask the question:  I wondered if I am the only one that doubts decisions I have made or actions I have taken; questions why I got myself involved in another project; or rethinks why I said what I said to another person.

My assumption is that we all have Little Nigglings of doubt from time to time... lying awake at night... and wondering.

Do you ever wonder how good you are?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Family Circus, Bil & Jeff Keane, 12/25/23)

As these thoughts swirl around and begin to take on a life of their own, I wonder... Isn't there a better way?  Assuming that we all have doubts at one time or another, what would life be like if we:

• Surfaced and reflected on our struggles;
• Shared our thoughts with others; and
  
• Allowed ourselves to be less perfect and more human.

What causes you to doubt yourself?
(Photo credit:  Self-Doubt, Shutterstock)

 

Noticing "nigglings" is one thing.  But, when self-doubt takes on a life of its own and undermines self-image and self-confidence, there may be a problem!  That's where noticing becomes even more important:

• Is this doubt hurting me or others... essentially, separating us?
• Can I move into a non-violent way of talking, sharing, and understanding?

 

That is, when I listen to and surface the self-doubt, I oftentimes find out the situation isn't as bad as I thought.  Bouncing off doubts, worries, and ideas connects us!

(Photo credit:  Finding Freedom from Fear and
Silencing Self-Doubt, Mike Foster)

Knowing that you and others sometimes doubt yourselves opens the door to changing how we respond to one another.  It may be as simple as removing the "t" from "can't":

• I can't believe in myself and decisions I have made -- OR -- I can believe.
  
• I can't listen to you -- OR -- I can listen.
• I can't understand your way of thinking -- OR -- we can get along.

 

Doubt and self-doubt may be a way for us to understand separation.  I am confident that we -- together -- can figure out a way to say, "We are gooder than we thought."

What do you think?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Learning to Fly

I can remember the moment I learned I could fly!  As a child and into adulthood, I loved to run.  One day our family was picnicking at Mt. Madonna Park outside Watsonville, CA.  We were climbing around and exploring the old ruins of Henry Miller's summer home.  (Miller had been a local cattle baron in the early 20th century.)

Our young imaginations were rebuilding the house: the porch, living room, kitchen, and bedrooms.   What was it like to live on top of this mountain decades before?

I began running down the hill, leaping into the air as I ran.  I covered large swaths of the downward slope with each leap.  It felt like I was flying!

My parents were shouting words of caution -- about being careful, slowing down, not falling or twisting an ankle. But I survived... and reached the bottom of the trail way ahead of anyone else!

Do you believe in yourself?
(Photo credit:  Taking a Leap of Faith in Yourself,
Lakefront Psychology)

This memory came back several years later when I was on my high school's cross-country team.  A county-wide race was scheduled at Mt. Madonna, covering the trail that I flew down years before.  What was different?  I was competing against people much better than me!

The exuberance of childhood had been replaced by coached strategies of when to pass an opponent, ways to conserve or apply energy, and how to psyche out another runner.  The freedom of flying was gone.  Rather than reaching the end of the race ahead of everyone else, I felt that I had failed to fly.

What words of caution undermine our confidence?
(Photo credit:  What Failing Students Want
Us to Remember, Edutopia)

Now, many years past those high school competitions, I still remember when I could fly... and when I could not.

We carry these messages of freedom, hope, caution, and being grounded throughout life.  It seems to be the human experience of understanding our Unlimited Spirits of creativity, energy, love, and connection encased in our Limited Bodies.

What would you say if you could fly?
(Photo credit:  What if I Fall? poem, Erin Hanson)

How then do we fly again? Through listening, encouraging, dreaming, imagining, and creating a better world of possibilities and opportunities... for family, friends, work colleagues... and strangers.

Our invitation is to believe in one another!  Let’s learn to fly… together!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)