Filling Up On Life

Have you ever met someone who seems so alive, so curious about learning, so engaged with people and the world?  I wonder what makes them see and respond to life so differently than others?  You may be one of these people: what do you see; why do you respond with such life and vigor?

On a recent trip, I noticed people who were conversing with others, leaning in, laughing, sharing stories of home.  Other people were taking long walks, getting in touch with their inner world.  And still, others were interacting continually with their electronic devices.  Each were following the same trip itinerary, but we experienced the journey individually and in ways important to that person.

How do you see the world:  beautiful and intricate?
(La Alhambra, Granada)

I wonder:

• What are the primary ways I engage the world? 
• How do I take in and interpret what I see? 
• Am I curious about what others think and feel? 
• How do I satisfy my curiosity (e.g., ask questions; research; explore; observe)? 

Without sounding judgmental or critical of how others live their lives, I wonder: 

• Why do I (or we) spend so much time becoming distracted or using devices that keep us from awareness of and curiosity about others? 

Challenging questions so early in the new year:  our use of time and the way we experience others; the value we bring to life; and how awareness may become hidden or diverted.

What in life draws your eyes and lifts your spirit upward?
(Basilica de la Sagrada Familia, Barcelona)

As I grow older, I am saddened by all that I may have missed in this world:

• Family stories that are no longer remembered since relatives have passed on... the stories have passed on with them. 
• Times I have not paid attention and moved on without wondering... the opportunities to understand that have been passed over. 
• Cultures I haven’t encountered or explored... the gifts that have remained unopened.

What structures do we create to inspire and share beauty?
(La Ciudad de los Artes y las Ciencias, Valencia)

Dialogue allows us time to recapture stories, focus attention, and open us to curiosity.  It may take an effort on our part to become aware of our distractions and to draw forth what is important to us.  Once we have noticed what is missing, we can then move towards what is desired.

In a sense, we are being challenged to create internal structures that draw forth beauty and curiosity in everything we see and do.

Rather than let devices or people dictate how we should think or respond in a given moment, maybe this New Decade is inviting us to reconnect:

• To become more aware; 
• To seek out what brings life; and 
• To recall what it feels like to be Community (common unity).

May this week provide moments when you may be filled anew with beauty and creativity.  May the distractions that keep you from what you seek be diminished.  May you experience the possibilities beyond.


 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Adjusting to the New Year: Diving into Contrasts

When I was younger, 2020 was the year of my retirement — so many years ahead!  Now it is 2020, and the goal posts have changed.  In the interim years, the federal retirement age changed!  Am I ready to transition to another way of life?

What does it mean to move from a contributing member of society to one who relies on the social benefits that have been contributed to for a lifetime?  How do I adjust when work colleagues are not part of my daily regimen?  When will I be able to see what is on the other side of Life’s next bridge?

How far ahead can you see?
(Photo Credit:  IKEA - Jungle Journey, Bjorksta)

Recent solar and lunar eclipses have reminded me that our universe has many examples of when one object eclipses another.  The norm of one moment is overshadowed by another, even for a brief time.

I guess as we move through various stages of our lives, it may be important to focus on what is normal and what seems to be abnormal.  In that moment of transition, we may discover something important about ourselves.

Can you see light even when your world is eclipsed?
(Photo Credit:  Sky and Telescope, Solar Eclipse 2017)

Being introverted and introspective, I have learned in these transitions that I need to share what I am thinking.  This is where my dialogue practice has helped:

• Can I explain what I am thinking or feeling... and... listen to other perspectives?
• Am I willing to become vulnerable... and... listen to advice? 
• Will I test assumptions made... and... seek out the facts established?

What is on the horizon this next year?

The challenge as we adjust to any new year is creating time and space to focus on the horizon ahead: not necessarily to anticipate or plan, but to sit and enjoy the view... and welcome what comes.

May this New Year help us to retire older Ways of Thinking and transition into newer Ways of Being.  Blessed New Year to you!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Curiosity Found: Stopping on Every Floor

Have you ever stepped into an elevator planning or hoping to reach your destination only to be stopped at every floor?  Instead of the Express that you wanted, you have been relegated to the Local!

I was thinking of this image on a recent trip.  Not only did we stop at each floor, but others who entered the elevator pressed the remaining untouched buttons.... ensuring that “Yes, you will be stopping!”

How do you react when your life
takes detours?

In these moments of Interrupted Haste, I found that all I could do was go along for the ride!  At first, I found myself annoyed or frustrated.  But, as I peered out at the Floor Not Visited, my curiosity began to grow:  Is there something there that I am missing?

What are you missing when a door
doesn’t open?

At times -- with dialogue, I have discovered that detours are not distractions or annoyances.  Rather, there may be hidden gems of knowledge to be gained by stopping and spending time with a friend.

Stepping out or away from what is transporting me to a planned destination now creates a new path to explore.  After a brief delay, I can still move on, but I will be a changed person when I eventually arrive.

Are there unknown destinations waiting for you?

 Maybe each day of life should be met with a Welcome sign — waiting to be seen, read, and savored: new people, places, and experiences to engage.  Sometimes, all it takes is pushing a button that opens doors to other possibilities.

The invitation for us is:

• A willingness to set aside the annoyances and frustrations at being interrupted; and, 
• The curiosity to step out when the opportunity arises. 

May the ending of 2019 provide moments for reflection: 

• Your plans or goals for this past year; 
• What you achieved or learned; and, 
• The detours and experiences along the way.

Blessings on your Dialogue Journey throughout 2020!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Understanding Living Traditions

The holiday season is full of old and new stories -- each celebrating family, culture and religion.  These can be special times as we remember, relive, and build anew.  Also, they can be lonely times for people who are separated or missing those no longer present.

Over the past few weeks, I have been trying to slow down and watch people.  This is difficult in a few ways: slowing down in an exceptionally busy season; and moving outward, noticing others, instead of self.

Isn’t it amazing when we realize that each person has her or his own story; that each story is unique; and that we cannot know those stories without asking... and then listening?

Can we reshape previous experiences?

My mother’s favorite holiday and holy day was Christmas.  She made the season special for our family.  When she died on Christmas Eve fourteen years ago — in between my niece’s birthday (December 23) and my sister’s birthday (December 25), we were at a loss with how to celebrate without her.

During the next year, my older — and very creative — brother had taken Mom’s jewelry and created a Christmas tree that is now a family heirloom.  It celebrates the memories of six children watching their mother dress up with these same earrings and rings, transforming them into a place where new memories can hang.

Are we willing to create new ways of being?

I too love to create new objects, primarily crocheted items that remind me of my grandmother, who taught me how to crochet.  As I imagine and create, the object takes on the love I want to share with others.

Memories and wishes are combined in these newly-created gifts.  Traditions relived and renewed.

How do we celebrate our history and symbols?

Dialogue helps us to share what we remember and hope for.  The traditions and stories passed on through previous generations allow us to understand who we are.  And, talking and listening opens us to who we are becoming.  Stories are meant to be shared and explored.  Traditions are not frozen in time, and neither are we.

As we celebrate the holidays and holy days surrounding this year end, may we remember, reflect on, and be grateful for those people who have shared their stories with us.  And may we stand in awe at the sacredness of each person.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Facing the Same Direction

Do you expect people to believe as you believe?  How do you respond when people react differently than anticipated?  What do you mentally say to yourself about the other person?

These are questions we might consider as we move into these final weeks of the year, especially as we try to survive in a fragmented and contentious world.

Does Group Think prevail in your friendships?

I remember walking around a small village in Britain.  There were many beautiful stone walls, made with local slate and rocks.  The artistry in the masonry showcased the skills of past generations:  stone walls that have withstood the passage of time.

Looking closely at the walls, there sometimes were similar patterns and other times each individual stone added support and strength.  I wondered at those times in my life where I only accepted ancestral truths or when individual and current understandings changed past perspectives.

Do you allow opposing views to strengthen
your understanding?

The beauty of dialogue — when we attempt to understand one another — comes from the elasticity of our mindsets.  That is:

• Can we consider that earlier or self-proclaimed truths may be incomplete? 
• Do we allow people freedom to come to other conclusions? 
• Will we stay in relationship when we differ?

Where does life grow?

As I walked along these village walls, oftentimes I came across plants rooted in the cracks and crevices.  Isn’t it amazing?!  Life grows even in the harshest and most unexpected places.

And, isn’t this true in our own relationships as well?  People rebound and heal even after the worst argument or separation.

Can you sit and consider that others
may be seeing life differently?

As we listen to the ideas, thoughts, and conclusions of family and friends this week:

• May we accept the messiness of life; 
• May we acknowledge that people can come to different conclusions; and, 
• May we seek to understand what others see.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)