We See What We See

Have you ever looked at a picture or a landscape, thought you appreciated its beauty or understood its place in creation, and then did a double-take and realized you had missed something important?  That has happened to me several times this past month!

The first was a National Geographic picture on Facebook that popped up in my feed.  I saw several horses in a desert location.  Interesting photo of Connection and Isolation.

Then I read the caption under the photo, and was I surprised at my misguided interpretation!

What do you see?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Picture of the Year, National Geographic)

A similar experience happened when our ship entered the waterways leading into Paamiut, Greenland.  The ship's foghorn had been sounding every 20 minutes the evening before our first Greenland port:  thick fog had clung to us throughout the Labrador Sea.

In the morning light, we had our first sighting of Greenland, shrouded in mist.  I took a digital photo with my phone, looked at the photo, and then looked back at the view before me.  The photo looked like 3 different images had been superimposed or overlaid, but this was real!  There were a series of mountain fjords filled with fog adding dimension and depth. 

Do you allow time to look back and wonder?
(Photo: Waterway leading to Paamiut,
Greenland - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Lately I have been questioning what I see:  it's okay to See What We See -- "it is what it is."  But do we ever wonder if there is something more, something missing or not seen at first glance?

Dialogue is similar:  We hear what we hear... but, do we:

• Wonder if we understood the other person correctly?
• Revisit the conversation to explore differing viewpoints?
• Go Deeper in our curiosity and questioning?

What pool do you play in?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis - Dec 10, 2023)

I believe that life is filled with opportunities:  second glances; re-do's on conversations; considering another perspective.  I also believe that we are challenged today by distractions, negativity, and toxic environments.

As Pig concluded in Pearls Before Swine, "Life is all about the pool you play in." 

One question for us to consider as we see what we see:  "What Pool of Life am I playing in?"  And maybe a follow-up question: "Why did I choose that pool?"

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Transformations Revealed

Hearing about the decline of the Monarch Butterflies we decided to plant milkweed in our front yard as a way to support their food source.  It took one or two years for the plants to take hold, but now we have four established plants... and we have monarch caterpillars and butterflies enjoying our labor!

The milkweed plants have beautiful red, yellow, and orange flowers with elongated green leaves.  What I didn't realize is how much the caterpillars would eat!  They DEVOUR the plants down to the stems!

Where do you get nourishment?
(Photo: Monarch Caterpillars - Larry Gardepie)

At times we have had adults and children stopping by and watching the Monarchs flitting about... and then notice the caterpillars crawling all over the plants.  One child asked me the first year, "You don't mind them eating the plants?"

That question stopped me: we also have fruit trees and vegetable plants where I become upset when the insects take over and denude the plants.  Why not the milkweed?  Why am I not upset at the Monarchs? 

How much do you share what you have?
(Photo: Milkweed and Monarch Caterpillars - Larry Gardepie)

I guess my response to the child ("No, I don't mind") depended on context:  the Monarchs need our help to survive and the milkweed was planted for that purpose.  Plus, I had no other use for the milkweed except for being connected to the natural cycle of life.

I was growing the oranges, tomatoes, basil, watercress, arugula, chard, and rosemary, on the other hand, for our dinner table. 

What happens when you are transformed?
(Photo: Milkweed Flowers and Monarch Butterfly - Larry Gardepie)

A child's innocent question invited me to consider when and how I share my abundance.  And... that is where our transformation begins:

• Our ability to ask or listen to a question;
• Our openness to honestly reflect on our experiences; and,
• Our willingness to change.

What transformation or metamorphosis have you experienced lately? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Our World Village

On our journey up the Amazon River, we visited a small village of 100 people, Boca da Valeria ("Mouth of the Valeria River").  Children gathered around us, holding visitors' hands, and leading us around their village.  Dressed in modern and traditional clothes, holding onto sloths, iguanas, and caimans, they wanted their photos taken.

We visited their school, saw their church, and wandered around their homes-on-stilts.  These industrious people had adapted to the ever-changing river that provided food, work, and recreation.

How do you welcome others into your world?
(Photo: Children in Traditional Dress,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Our visit meant a day off school, but it was a workday of sorts as they collected tourist dollars for food, river trips, pictures, and selling locally made handicrafts.  Though business was part of the day's focus, the overriding principles of Hospitality and Welcome were ever-present.

As visitors, we were members of their village for one day... part of their family.

What do you bring to the relationship?
(Photo: Young Boy and Baby Sloth,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

We were thousands of miles from home, yet I felt At Home.  Why?

We couldn't communicate in my language.  People spoke Portuguese or the local dialect.  We had some things in common -- kitchens, stoves, satellite dishes, but other things were unfamiliar or outdated -- outhouses, wildlife, houses on stilts six to eight feet high.

Why?  The adults and children accepted us.  They wanted to show us their Way of Life.  We were people meeting other people.  We were curious and interested in one another.

Can you create and give something of yourself?
(Photo:  Artisan and His Creation,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Yes, I handed out a few dollars for pictures and handicrafts, but I never felt exploited or manipulated.  I felt Family and Togetherness... thousands of miles from home and friends.

As our world order and what we know changes, there may be questions for us to consider:

• Do I feel alienated and misunderstood?
• Can I accept people different from what is familiar?
• Am I willing to create a welcoming and understanding environment?

In a time when we may feel a lack of power or control over what is happening, I would suggest we can influence the outcome more than we think.

• We have a choice in how we define Family and Togetherness.
• We can develop Curiosity and Interest in others.
• We can Welcome All into our World Village.

Your thoughts?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Life A'Billowing

Were you fascinated by clouds when you were younger -- looking for shapes and patterns as the clouds passed overhead?  Then, did you notice a change later in life?  The shapes and patterns help us to understand the weather in our part of the world.  Our child-like wonder transformed into predictions and certainty.

 What is more useful in life:  wonder... predictability... certainty?  Maybe all three?

What do the clouds tell you?
(Photo:  Clouds over Amazon River - Larry Gardepie)

If I were to describe myself in one word, I would say that I am an Observer.  That is, I watch and listen... and then engage.  My curiosity takes hold, and I wonder and ask questions.  Later, when I see patterns that are predictable, I become certain that I am right about a person or a situation.

What happens, though, when life isn't that simple?

When do you feel dwarfed by a situation?
(Photo:  Amazon River and Distant Shores - Larry Gardepie)

The clouds were SPECTACULAR sailing up the Amazon River a few weeks ago.  The wide river and the distant shores were defined by these magnificent celestial bodies:  everything was dwarfed by these billowing giants!

So, if life isn't always simple, I wonder what might be defining the uncertainty and unpredictability?  Can we observe, engage, and allow curiosity to take hold so that we can ask questions and understand?

Can you see and address what is changing?
(Photo: A Changing River - Larry Gardepie)

The Amazon River Basin is a complex environment with over 1,000 tributaries flowing into the main river.  Along its route, some rivers join and change the brown Amazon.  In other places, a river's temperature and pH don't match the Amazon's, so the two rivers stay separate until they adjust and balance. (You might have the brown Amazon alongside the black Rio Negro or green Tapajós River!)

As we observe, engage, and ask questions, maybe we are following a similar process of adjusting and balancing what is important.  This doesn't mean that our value systems necessarily change.  Rather, for the first time, we might be hearing and understanding another way of thinking and being.  Can we live side-by-side until we are ready to trust and engage?

Wonder... predictability... certainty.  Life is a'billowing!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Be Sides

I understand that not everyone likes math but stay with me for a few minutes!  In high school Geometry, we memorized many theorems -- and maybe, understood some of them!  What caught my interest were the shapes of objects and the formulas that helped to measure these objects:  squares, circles, triangles...  and all their variations -- rectangles, trapezoids, spheres and cylinders (if we moved into three-dimensional objects).

The intersection of art (image) and science (measurement) intrigued me, especially when I heard similar observations in Biology and the other sciences.  Example: how nautilus shells and some flowers follow geometric patterns and measurements.

When are you -- we -- in equilibrium?
(Photo credit: Sides of Equal Length, SplashLearn)

No matter what age we are, we can still learn from math, science, art, and the social sciences.  For instance, observe the current discussion -- or lack of discussion -- surrounding what "woke culture" means or when is it appropriate to teach or learn certain subjects or DEI initiatives (diversity, equity, and inclusion).  Instead of allowing curiosity and exploration to guide us through each of these topics, people are demanding -- sometimes dictating and legislating -- one side or the other.

We are no longer focusing on theorems that need to be tested (methods we learned in school).  Instead, we are talking about who controls narratives, beliefs, and historical perspectives.

When do we invite others into our inner circle?
(Photo credit:  Bring People Together,
Growing Great Schools Worldwide)

As in last week's blog, Sides (click here to read), dialogue brings people together NOT to win people over... to one side or another... to a certain way of thinking... or to accept a specific value system.  Dialogue provides opportunities for us to hear or experience another idea, perspective, belief, or conclusion.

This interaction does not take away choice of -- or control over -- a Way of Being.  Rather, it invites us into the possibility of expanding... to stand beside (Be Side) a different way of being... to compare... to stay open... and then to choose.  

But the true choice is to stay in relationship... that is, to dialogue!

Are you and your ideas at the table for dialogue?
(Photo credit, Exchanging Ideas
in the Boardroom, Unsplash)

What emerges from dialogue might be understanding, curiosity, and more questions.  I notice that when I slow down my need for control or don't close the opportunities too quickly, another option emerges: how to stay in relationship!

Our invitation this week is to stand beside another person and see what she or he is seeing.  What questions arise? 
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Life is Good

Whether at home, work, or leisure, we seek out what is routine and normal: those Patterns of Familiarity which bring comfort and a sense of security.  Just think of what soothes you throughout the day:  your typical wake up time; the morning beverage and food that starts the day; steps taken to ensure Loved Ones are prepared for their day; the route to work or what is completed before work begins… so many comfortable or normal patterns that define our days.

I wonder if that is why so many people felt uprooted or unnerved these past few years as our “normal” days were changed… we were afloat… life’s ordinariness beyond our control.

Where is your focus?
(Photo: Hawaiian Sunset, Larry Gardepie)

As these pandemic-affected years have given way to a different normal, I have found the need to break free from my day-to-day life, a desire to vacate the routines — “vacation from” these norms.  My solace is being on the ocean, a routine familiar before COVID… but also changed.  Each day is recognizable, but there are Moments Inspired — beyond my control — that distract me from the norms and usual rhythms of a day at sea.

Sometimes a breakthrough occurs as I encounter a new situation, cross paths with a companion traveler, or catch site of a beautiful sunrise or sunset.  The day seems different because of these unexpected encounters:  life is changed!

What rays of hope do you see on the horizon?
(Photo: Sunset over Pacific Ocean, Larry Gardepie)

 As I grow older, I find that I need both the familiar and the unexpected… the normal and the extraordinary… and I have limited control over what happens next!  Life is Good when I handle what I can, and then go along for the ride when the unexpected happens.

Seeking balance sometimes means letting go of my perceptions of how life should be — how I want it to be — and realize that others are experiencing much different realities than mine.

Can you see the goodness in yourself and others?
(Photo:  Sunset over Sea of Cortez, Larry Gardepie)

 
For instance, the war between Russia and Ukraine has unbalanced many of our lives.  Am I willing to let go of my frustration and anger over higher prices and realize that others are suffering much greater losses than I am?  Can I listen to a larger global message and realize that wars between nations and difficulties between individuals have similar roots?  Can I see goodness in others even when our norms are not aligned?

May we focus on the unexpected.  May we accept when future horizons cannot be controlled.  May we find a Willingness Within to see goodness in others.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Sun and Rain: Seeking Balance in Life

Walking through Rossio Square in central Lisbon (Portugal) several years ago, I noticed the sun playing off water spraying from a nearby fountain.  The warmth of the sun was tempered by the cooling mist.  A pleasant encounter on this hot and dry day.

I was struck by the Beauty of Balance:  one element offsetting another; not trying to dominate; both coexisting in a radiant display of sunlight on sparklets of water.

Where is there balance in your life?
(Photo:  Rossio Square, Lisbon, Portugal)

If you think about sun and rain, we need both... in a delicate balance.  Too much sun without enough rain will create desert or drought conditions.  Too much rain without enough sun can cause flooding, swamps, and mildew.  When water and sunlight is Out-of-Balance, destruction can occur.

I wonder if being in balance or out-of-balance describes the ability to stay in relationship?  What then can we say about the balance or imbalance in our lives?

What storms overwhelm you?
(Photo:  tropical storm over Panama City, Panama)

Our divided world debates about climate change - whether it is happening or not.  We differ about life and choice.  COVID has opened new fissures about vaccinations and masks:  what is the best way to achieve immunity from an external virus.

I wonder about the virus that compromises our relationships... when we cannot listen to differing opinions.  It seems that we are no longer curious about understanding the facts of a situation.  Rather, we seek to dominate or destroy what is in oppositions to our tightly-held beliefs and conclusions.

How can this new day be different?
(Photo:  sunrise over Pacific Ocean)

For me, the beauty of balance is the desire to stay in relationship.  We may not always agree... but can we keep talking?  Can we replace judgment with curiosity:

• I wonder what you think about...
• I see it this way.  How do you see it?  What is your experience?
• Help me understand how you reached that conclusion.

We cannot ask these questions if we are not in relationship.  We cannot notice a climate of change unless we are open to seeing the change in others... and ourselves.

Rain must give way to sun to create the balance that nature needs; sun must allow rain to feed the new growth that occurs when sun and rain work together; and rainbows -- covenants against destruction -- occur only when sun and rain appear together.

 
What relationships are important to you?  How do you stay in balance with those you care about?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

The Distance between Knowledge and Ignorance

I remember the wonder of discovery as I was growing up: watching insects inch along the sidewalk; clouds floating across the sky; raindrops ripple the surface of a puddle.  Each encounter with the world expanded my knowledge and understanding of my surroundings.

Growing up in a family with six children provided other opportunities to learn: how to interact; how to give and take; how to share and hold onto.  Formal education expanded the dimensions of what could be learned: reading, writing, math, sciences, health and safety, history and geography, and civics.  Attendance, participation, and conduct seemed as important as the academic subjects. 

Grades measured our progress with the goal of advancing to the next class level.  Our accomplishments followed us:  shaping how others thoughts of us... or how we saw ourselves.

What do you see in retrospect?
(Seattle skyline)

Throughout these stages of self-discovery and with the understanding of the world I played and worked in, I have been nagged by what I know... and don't know.  Early on, as information was being poured into my brain, I sensed that there was so much more to learn.  As I moved from elementary school to high school and then on to college, my confidence grew about how much I knew!

The shift from the earlier excitement of exploration to attaining knowledge was subtle: the thirst to learn was ever-present but head knowledge often overshadowed the wonder of heart and soul.  Grades became the measurement; self-image became the container, shelves stacked with self-importance because of what I knew.

What do you know for certain?
(Miniature library, artwork on Nieuw Amsterdam)

Albert Einstein once said: "The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know."  What an interesting -- and humbling -- reflection from a person regarded as exceptionally smart!

The study and practice of dialogue challenges me reclaim our childhood curiosity:

• To look and learn
  
• To wonder and connect
• To stand in awe at beauty and mystery

 

When do you see clearly?
(Stephens Passage, Juneau, Alaska)

Maybe the knowledge we have gained from family, friends, and education is not the endpoint.  Rather, they are stepping stones between ignorance and knowledge and back to ignorance.  The movement and rhythm of Humble Inquiry into the unknown.

Our world is vast.  Peoples and cultures are complex.  Our insights and understandings are limitless.  I wonder if we are called not towards certainty but towards Unfolding Truth who invites us into continual discovery?  I wonder if attendance, participation, and how we conduct ourselves are actually more important than the knowledge gained?

May we look beyond the portals of our understanding and seek what we don't understand.  May we look beyond our head knowledge and become more open to heart knowledge and compassion.  May we embrace the Ignorance of Not Knowing and invite curiosity back into our lives.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

 

What is the Question?

Have you ever counted the number of questions you ask each day?  I started... one day... then noticed I got bored and moved on.  I kept waiting for a question to arise, but became distracted with work, projects, and searching the web.  Maybe that individual mining of information on the internet is where my inquisitiveness is directed these days.

But, do you remember:

• The spontaneous inquisitiveness of a 3 year old?
• The adage, "There's no such thing as a stupid question"?
•  The game, "20 Questions"?
  

It seems that curiosity and questions were social activities:  discovering the world by asking one another what we thought or were thinking and feeling.

How many questions do you ask a day?
(Photo credit:  Asking Questions is Really Hard,
Huffpost - The Blog)

There are moments in life when we are left with questions... that are meant to be asked.... that may not have answers.  I wonder why we don't ask them?  Are we afraid of the answers?  The interaction?  The unknowing?

I read in a dialogue book recently that 40% of questions are actually statements in disguise and another 40% are judgments in disguise.  That leaves about 20% of our questions that truly spring from curiosity... where we are seeking to understand... that allow new information to be shared.

Are you curious about what others think?
(Photo credit: The Value of Listening,
Harvard Graduate School of Education)

Rather than counting how many questions I ask each day, maybe my focus should be on what generated the question:  sharing my view (a statement); projecting conclusions (judging); or exploration (curiosity).  It seems that the gift of discovery is what prompts a 3-year old's mind... that invites questions of the unknown... and allows us to engage together in a game of Question-Asking.

Just think of the societal transformation if we could relegate our statements and judgments into Advocacy (this is what I believe) and reserve the purity of our questions to genuine Inquiry (What do you think?... I really want to know about... Will you help me?).

Do your questions allow new ideas to
emerge from old thoughts?
(Photo: US Naval Military Sealift, San Diego)

By dismantling older ways of thinking and being, we might be able to experience the emergence of new information and knowledge.

Yes, the focus is on the types of questions we ask, but more importantly, I believe, is the relationship that spawns from these questions.  Are we willing to seek answers together rather than individual searches of the internet that lock us into our isolation?

Let us consider:

• What is the question?
• Am I curious about new information?
• Can I invite you into a relationship of discovery?

What do you think?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Sharing the Burden

These weekly blogs are my way of understanding our world... or should I say, "attempting to understand" what I have encountered this past week.  My reflections do not mean that I have solved, have figured out, or have truly grasped what is swirling around me.  This is one way for me to pose questions and insights for myself... and to seek your input and clarity.

Recently, I have been reflecting on the burdens that each of us carries:  sometimes silently shouldering the heavy weight of relationships gone awry; health issues that redirect our attention; or past stories that monopolize our time and energy.

I wonder:  because we intimately know our own stories and worries, how do we hear or understand another person's story... their burdens... what is weighing them down?

What burdens are you carrying?
(Photo credit:  Carrying Unnecessary Burdens, WBKO.net)

Why am I focused on burdens this week?  Mine haven't shifted, but I have had several texts or conversations with siblings, friends, and classmates from my 8th grade class.  As we listened together, the Stories Shared provided glimpses of similar and different experiences.  And, I noticed after each encounter, my problems seemed to lessen:  I was thinking about the other person, wondering how I could help, offering up prayers and intentions to stay in touch.

We really don't know what is going on in another life... unless we take time to reach out, ask questions, and listen.

Are you willing to tell your story?
(Photo credit:  Huddle Up: It's Story Time! -
The Many Benefits of Storytelling, Little Red Hen)

Also, I noticed that as a story was being revealed, my mind would jump ahead... filling in gaps of information, connecting the dots, and creating story endings.  In one instance, questions were asked, more of the story was revealed, and I found out how misguided my conclusions were!

I was using my life lessons and experiences to direct, filter, and complete another person's story.  The language of my burdens was distorting another person's reality.

When are you kind to others?
(Photo credit:  Heavy Burden, Pinterest - saved by Becki Albert)

On a side note, I find it interesting that so much time is spent streaming our entertainment, searching YouTube for snippets of topics that captivate us, and being addicted to our devices... yet excuses about limited time keep us from listening together to what is important.  Is it just me?  Or, is this strange?

Learning to share the burdens we carry may be the kindness that is needed right now: taking time away from our distractions to tell stories; listening and remaining curious; staying open to the endings as questions are asked; and walking away closer... together!

As a young mentor once told me, "We are a Pilgrim People" -- sharing the journey of life by walking together; caring for -- and carrying -- each other when the path is difficult.

May more of your story be revealed this week.  May your burdens become lighter as you talk to others.  May we be willing to travel through life with kindness.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Gifts Revealed

When was the last time you were excited about receiving a gift?  The remembered anticipation of a child at Christmas... the wonder of the gift wrap... the mystery of what was hidden inside?

My older brother would unwrap slowly the gift wrap, hoping to keep remnants of it for future use.  Once the bows and ribbons were removed, I and my other siblings would rip into the paper.  Our curiosity could not be slowed.

As we grew older, we would try to guess what was inside before unwrapping the gift.  How well did we know the giver?  Did the giver listen to our wants and wishes?

What gift have you been offered?  Did you open it?
(Photo credit: The Tragedy of the Unopened Gift,
A Line From Linda)

When clothes were received rather than toys, it was sometimes difficult to hide the disappointment on our faces.  The unvarnished truth of childhood emotions while learning lessons of being thankful for what was received.

I don't recall ever putting a gift back in the box, though, and refusing it.  There may have been exchanges due to size or color or duplicate gifts, but the Gifts Received were seldom (if ever!) given back.

I wonder today about the gifts we are given each day: the mystery of each person we encounter and the slow unwrapping and revelation of the Person Hidden.  Do we give back what has been received?

How do you use the gifts received?
(Photo credit: How Many Combinations are Possible
Using 6 LEGO Bricks?, Chris Higgins)

I was reflecting on these thoughts while meeting with my supervisor, Jeff, this past week.  He is the type of supervisor who allows us to work from our strengths while challenging us to expand our skill sets.  He encourages us to unwrap the Talents Unexplored.

Jeff has a side hobby:  LEGO... but not what you would imagine!  He takes these individual bricks and bends the normal understanding of how LEGO structures should be built.  Some would describe his creations as illegal, not using LEGO bricks as they were intended.  Others see beauty and art.

The gift of Jeff is his unbounded curiosity... the willingness to explore... the ability to accept What Is while testing and revealing What Can be... the Gifts Hidden.

Can you look beyond the way it should be?
(Photo credit: BrickBending, Jeff Sanders)

Dialogue allows us to receive the Gift of Other, to encourage the slow unwrapping of what is inside, and to accept the Gift Given.  We are bending and adapting to what is and the possibilities of what can be.  Rather than challenging what is revealed by saying "It shouldn't be this way" we are invited to say, "Thank you for helping me see anew."

Questions to consider:

• How do you know if you are in a box?
• Have you boxed others in by your definitions of them?
• Can we recapture the joys of unwrapping the gifts of Self and Other?
  

May this week allow us to seek possibilities.  May we understand what boxes us in.  May our imagination and curiosity open the gifts of wonder and awe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A shout out to Jeff Sanders, who has taught me to dream of possibilities.  Check out his LEGO art:

• YouTube:     BrickBending  (https://www.youtube.com/brickbending)
  
• Instagram:   #brickbending or https://www.instagram.com/brickbending/
  
• TikTok:        @brickbending or https://www.tiktok.com/@brickbending
  

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)