A Pencil and Ideas: When to Lay Them Down... and Listen

Many years ago I noticed that I had acquired a ball and chain.  My movements were limited.  I blamed it on The Pencil... but, maybe it was something more?

As an assistant director, I was called upon to make things happen when it came to projects, improving processes, and motivating the employees I supervised.  I took notes at meetings to keep me organized, engaged in the discussion, and remember who would follow through on various decisions.

At one meeting with the director and managers, I was in my habitual role of taking notes, asking questions, and trying to figure out how to accomplish these new directives.  At one point, the director asked me to stop taking notes and to put down my pencil.  She explained that what was being discussed were not decisions.  She wanted us to talk through options:  to listen, hear possibilities, and not focus on an outcome.

Through my lenses of responsibility and making it happen, I was hearing the conversation as directives rather than possibilities.  I was seeking reality, not a dream!

Chained to My Perspective
(Breaking the Chains, sculpture by Melvin Edwards;
Martin Luther King, Jr. Promenade, San Diego)

In these "Ball and Chain moments," it is important that someone:

• Notices what is happening;
• Slows down or stops the action or interaction; and
• Becomes vulnerable enough to risk naming what is being observed.

Courage to Stand Up and Say "Stop!"
(San Diego International Comic-Con, 2017)

I believe that is what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and others in the Civil Rights Movement were attempting to do:  they were noticing what was happening; they were attempting to slow us down; and, with profound courage, they became vulnerable to the mistrust and hatred surrounding them.  They risked naming what they were observing:  Reality.

A Dream was planted as people interrupted their habitual responses and allowed new possibilities to be considered.  The actions of noticing, slowing down, and naming what was observed allowed other options to surface.

A Sign of Welcome
(St. John the Baptist Parish Church, Windsor, England)

Recently, I came across a sign outside a parish church in Windsor, England.  A Sign of Welcome:  all are welcome - whether you believe or not; no matter who you are or where you are from!  A sense of peace came over me.  I realized I no longer had to make anything happen:  I am welcomed.

Questions to consider this week which begins with the birthday remembrance of Martin Luther King, Jr.:

• Is there a "Ball and Chain" that limits you from hearing others?
• In what ways can you name the reality around you?
• How might you welcome others into a dialogue of new ideas and possibilities?

May we be inspired this week by the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., by the Civil Rights Movement, and by other movements that name injustice, intolerance and misunderstanding. 

May we become Signs of Welcome to those around us!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting 
(click on link to website)