Messages We Give: Which Are True?

Feedback, evaluations, surveys... our society solicits input from employees, coworkers, customers... and even family and friends.  We seek this information for many reasons:  recognition; improvement; direction; understanding; and acceptance.

I wonder:

• How well do we balance the brands and images we create (about our organization, work, and self) with the comments returned?
• What are the messages sent and the ones received?
• How do we characterize displeasing or unwanted feedback?

Messages We Give:  are they the ones we intended?
Note:  Click on image to expand
(Baby Blues, Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott:  January 11, 2018)

As a supervisor, I believed that my intentions were good, and that I treated those I supervised honestly and fairly.  When it came to the annual evaluation, why was I nervous?  And, why were the employees cautious?  It seemed that no matter how good the evaluation was, the employee expected a But at the end of each sentence.  And, when improvement was mentioned in some area, it seemed that this area became the sole focus of our time together.  The recognition of excellent performance was forgotten.

Am I the same way:  not hearing the Good News because I am waiting for the 'But... here is the Bad News?"

Recently, I saw a road sign near a lookout point.  It read "Danger.  Do Not Go Beyond Guardrail."  The yellow warning sign was covered with stickers making the intended message indiscernible.  As tourists, we were focused on the view, taking Selfies, awed by the spectacular scene.  Who was paying attention to the warning sign... let alone the guardrail!

I wonder:

• What guardrails and messages do I install around me?
• Do I check with others what they see, hear or experience?
• Are the messages I send distracted by other circumstances in my life?

Messages We Give:  do we give mixed messages?
(Kauai, Hawaii)

Our daily dialogue practice will open us to checking out the messages sent and received by:

• Creating an inquiring mind: how we balance explaining what is important to us with an invitation for others to share their thoughts and feelings.
• Developing a willingness to explain: how we describe our thought processes, meanings, and conclusions.
• Understanding and accepting missteps: how we learn from our mistakes.

In other words, we are encouraged to develop a Spirit of Redo: the skill of stepping back, reflecting, and asking for an opportunity to repeat the situation with the new information we received.

Messages We Give:
successfully negotiating the chessboard of life
(Lanai, Hawaii)

As we navigate moments of misunderstanding, we may need to solicit feedback... and then listen with an openness to change our self-created image.  The dark moments of conflict can give way to illuminated moments of reconciliation.  Conflicting or mixed messages can be corrected.  The beautiful view can be shared.

What message do you want to give this week?  How will you know it has been received the way you intended?

Blessings as you develop your Spirit of Redo!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting
(click on link for website)