Where is Our Deafness? What Do We Not Want to Hear?

Have you had one of those experiences where the same word or event keeps surfacing over a short period of time?  Recently, at a dialogue retreat, one of our colleagues walked us through an exercise and shared information about what people with hearing loss actually hear.  It was an eye opening.... okay, an ear-opening!... experience.

Within that same week I came across a YouTube video of Mandy Harvey, a 2017 contestant on America's Got Talent.  (Click here to watch the video.)  At the age of 18 and a vocal music major, she lost her hearing.  Her dreams had ended... or so it seemed.

On AGT, Mandy performed a song she had written, "Try".  Through song, she guided us through the experience of losing her dream, and her courage to decide to keep on going.

As I listened at the retreat and watched Mandy's performance, I wondered:

• When am I deaf to what is happening around me?
• How have I responded when I have lost something important or valuable?
• Have I continued to try?

 

Question:  What am I deaf to?
 (Photo credit: JAMA's Study shows Gap between
Reported Hearing Loss and Treatment)

Hearing Mandy's story -- from her perspective and her father's, I realized anew how an individual loss is also a familial or communal loss.  After all, a body experiences the loss of any of its members.

The father realized that Mandy's music was alive, but locked inside.  Individually, Mandy needed to make a decision; and together, Mandy and her father found a way to reawaken Mandy's talents.  A new dream emerged!

In Mandy's words:  "It's not the dream that I always had.  That's okay.  Because I showed up.  I did something I never believed I could do." and "There is no one but me to blame 'cause I know the only thing in the way is me."

Question:  Do I want to overcome my deafness?
 (Photo Credit:  NBC America's Got Talent, September 2017)

Looking at the complexity of our divided world, we individually and collectively are experiencing loss.  Isn't it time for us to listen and understand the individual loss, and talk about how these losses are affecting our collective spirit?

Through dialogue and understanding, we can release what has been locked inside.  We can show up differently.  We can listen more intently.  We can pursue new dreams unimagined before.  We can stop the blame, and move out of the way.

Question:  How can I overcome the loss I am experiencing?

(Photo credit:  Sign Language, Devotions by Jan)

The questions and challenges each of us must face:

• Will I show up for those around me?
•  Will I try to listen and understand?

If the answer to either of these questions is "No," I would add another question:  Why not?  The answers to Why Not may reveal the depth of the losses experienced.. and ways to love oneself in the future.

May this week provide us opportunities to explore our losses -- individually and collectively -- and seek ways to unlock the dreams that have been hidden within.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)