Tributes, Dancing, and Dialogue: Learning to be Authentic

Watching and listening to the tributes this past week for Senator John McCain, Aretha Franklin, and Neil Simon, I experienced a retelling of the richness and diversity that each person brought to our world.  Whether described as a Maverick, a Great Statesman, an American Hero or honored as the Queen of Soul or America's Playwright, these individuals captured and personified America's Soul in a way that invites and challenges our lives today.

Each person began life as we have: children imitating and learning.  Each faced challenges that strengthened and focused their talents and interests.  Each pursued the telling and retelling of the American Dream by discovering its ideals and values through their voices, decisions, and actions.

It causes me to wonder:  Do we ever fully understand the richness and diversity that we add to our world?  Do we appreciate the struggles that identify and clarify the gifts that we offer?

Dancing:  Learning the Steps
(Photo Credit: Rumba Dance Step Diagram, Gray Miller)

One of the gifts that I never developed is the ability to dance!  I have told myself that I don't have a sense of rhythm and that I am not coordinated.  I feel self-conscious.  I am afraid of being laughed at.

As a teenager, my mother tried to teach me the initial dance steps and counting to the music.  I wanted to be like my friends who enjoyed the freedom of movement:  I wanted to belong.  But, when reminded "Don't look at your feet" or "Stop counting out loud," I would lose courage.  I would stop trusting the foundations of practiced lessons.  I would lose my way.

Dancing:  Relationship Dance Steps
(Photo Credit:  Facebook Art Residency, Stefanie Posavec)

Recently, I came across a Facebook article about relationships: creating dance step patterns that follow a couple's relationship.  Many different patterns began to emerge as couples explored their social interactions.

Consider the following questions:

• Have we been taught to only follow the traditional roles of who leads and who follows... or... Are we willing to share or switch those roles along the way?
• Can we, in the moment, trust one another to co-create a pattern new to this emerging relationship?
• Do we rely on lessons learned earlier -- balanced with -- a willingness to hold lightly the unexpected we soon encounter?
• Are we able to learn and expand "our dance" (that is, the way we dialogue and how we see relationship)?

As a Younger Self, I didn't always relax and trust my foundational learning.  As an Older Self, maybe there is a renewed invitation:  it is time to listen to the rhythm of the individual Maverick Within -- my Authentic Self -- and allow it to intersect with the Soul-filled Nature of Authentic Life.

Dancing:  Bringing Color and Rhythm to Life
(Photo credit:  Silhouettes of People Dancing, Freepik)

John, Aretha, and Neil are examples of people who learned to dialogue with words, music, and artful expression, sharing with us the story of lives they individually explored.  By telling their stories, we learn of struggles and mistakes.  But, each triumphed over their doubts; each pursued paths of Honor, Respect, and Truth.

Maybe it is time for us to trust the color and rhythm of our own lives, celebrating the varied dances and steps that intersect.

I don't think we are being called to believe or understand one way.  Instead, what I have learned from this American Soul that stretches almost three centuries: can we allow ourselves and others to respect and celebrate the Individual Goodness of Shared Home... the many dances that celebrate US?

As we recall the lives who have taught us the initial steps of Life's Dance, may we celebrate the labor, struggles, and triumphs that call us to be heroes that tell and retell the unfolding story of Soul.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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