Shutdown: Barriers to Communication

Shutdown seems to be a word in vogue these days -- a "termination or suspension of operations, services or business activities" according to the dictionary I referenced.  The shutdown we are hearing about or experiencing right now is causing me to wonder:

• How often do I suspend communication with those I disagree?
• When do I terminate relationships because of past hurts or discord?
• What do I do when I no longer want to communicate with you?

Our devices now allow us to block incoming voice or text messages so that we can effectively shut out someone from our electronic lives.

What barriers do we erect 
to stop communication?

It seems that social media has opened the door to communicate easily and more often with others, and we have new methods to terminate or suspend those connections.  I wonder, though, have we ever learned how to bridge the chasms that develop when we realize we are coming from different value systems or worldviews?

How strange that we can create such wonderful devices to support our communication but we haven't dedicated the same amount of creative energy to listen across the vacuum of misunderstandings!

How different do we see our world?
(Photo credit:  Moon Rover, NASA)

In the midst of our personal shutdowns -- not listening to work colleagues; suspending relationships with friends; terminating familial ties -- let us consider how we got to this point.  No blame or pointing fingers.  No guilt or self-denial.  Just an honest reflection on what happened and why. 

At times, a shutdown may be the only way to keep Self and Other healthy.  At times, all avenues for communication have been tried -- and it is time to step back.  At times, life must move on.

Maybe shutdowns are neutral, providing space to consider what to do.  Maybe the value judgments and attached meanings that got us to this breaking point must be reviewed.

In our darkest hour, let us focus
on the points of light surrounding us

The questions I ask myself when I come to a Shutdown Moment:

• Prior to the shut down:  what is my intention?
• During the shutdown:  do I see light at the end of the tunnel?
• After the shutdown:  will I or the other person be able to heal?

These have become the points of light that direct my communication and dialogue before, during, and after the shutdown.  In other words, I must consider the barriers I have erected or chasms I am unable to cross... talking to colleagues, friends and family about why silence has darkened my world.  It is through this continued dialogue that I am challenged to consider a future beyond the shutdown.

As the government shutdown works itself through our public consciousness, may we consider how human it is to be hurt, misunderstood, and misaligned.... and with hope, may we also dedicate ourselves to continued communication in these unforgiving times.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)