Shutdown Revisited: Ways to Move Ahead

Traveling on the White Pass & Yukon Railway, we passed an old, rickety, wooden bridge.  It had served the railroad for decades until a new route was proposed and the bridge was bypassed, relegated to the romantic railroad history of time.  The new route now curves around the mountain, giving wonderful views of this relic from the past.

Reviewing photos of past vacations and placing them against current dialogue topics, I wondered about the rickety ideas I have held so dearly throughout my life.

• How shaky or dilapidated are the meanings I have attached to people?
• Is it time to bypass the conclusions I have made?
• Am I willing to seek out new directions in some relationships?

Shutdown Revisited: how old are my support systems?
(Switchback Arch Bridge, White Pass & Yukon Railway)

Some rickety ideas place me on parallel tracks with people:  we never intend to intersect or change our belief systems.  Think of how often you may say, think or hear, "I guess we agree to disagree."

These musings have caused me to wonder why I place so much importance on my idea being listened to, accepted, or selected.  Do I forget to listen -- or even want to listen -- to other ideas or solutions?

Think of the last time you and a friend considered several movies, restaurants, or activities.  Did any new idea emerge where both of you were excited about the result?

Shutdown Revisited:  is there a chance
that our ideas may never intersect?

When a new choice emerges between me and my friends, there seems to be a moment of kismet, serendipity.  New energy flows.  The outcome of the decision is based on our relationship, our trust, and our willingness to risk: we want to do something together, to spend time together, to enjoy one another.  What we do becomes secondary to who we are -- in relationship.  The focus is on us!

Shutdown Revisited:  is it time to pull aside and...
wait, listen, and anticipate? 

When there is a shutdown, relationships are in jeopardy.  The focus is on the wrong outcome:  "Whose idea was selected?" rather than "Are we still in relationship?."  Maybe when shutdowns in our relationships occur, we need to take a sidetrack:  slow down, and maybe even stop; check where we are; listen deeply for what is coming... and anticipate that something new will overtake us... a new idea; an option unexpected; or a relationship intact.


Blessings to you this week as you consider where you have come, the pathway forward that may be new, and the choices not considered!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)